They laughed and then clasped hands, Nessa reaching out to grip one of mine, Natalie the other.
I felt something spark within me, a connection forming that I hadn’t expected. Or rather, I hadn’t wanted to expect.
I liked these women. They were my friends. I could do this. I just needed to find my place within their system. There were places and boxes for everybody. Rules and connections and paths. I did my best when I knew the equation and the answer and everything that came with it. I just needed to find where I belonged.
“Are we just going to stand out here all day and look at the place? Or are you actually going to walk in?”
I winced and looked behind me at the four guys who stood by the moving truck and their vehicles, their arms folded across their chests.
“Hello, boys,” I said, and they all smiled. I swore my knees went weak, even though I told myself I didn’t want a guy—ever again. Not after the last one. But I couldn’t help it. The boys from the house on college row were handsome, swoon-worthy, and easily made your knees go weak every time you looked at them. All four of them staring at you with a smile on their faces? It was no wonder my heart raced.
There used to be five of them. But unlike what’d happened with the girls, the split hadn’t been tragic. Maybe a little for me at first, but it wasn’t a tragedy. It was a farce.
But I wasn’t going to think about Sanders. He wasn’t living with the guys anymore, which meant I wouldn’t let him have real estate in my mind or my heart, either.
He’d occupied enough of it since we were infants. I wouldn’t let him be there now.
Dillon, Elise’s boyfriend, cleared his throat as he walked forward. “The cold front’s coming in. That means we’re probably going to get snow or ice soon. Let’s get you guys at least unpacked and into the house where it’s warm. The place does have heat, right?”
He looked at the home dubiously, and I sighed. “Of course,” I said. “Do you think we’d find a place that doesn’t have heat? The four of us? We’re smarter than that.”
“But you had to find a place at the last minute,” Pacey said, and I ignored him. I had to do that often. He was my friend, but sometimes that British accent did things to me that I’d rather not think about. I’d always been drawn to him as a friend, even when I was with Sanders. Now, it felt as if things were weird. They were all a little strained with me. What were you supposed to do around the girl who had only become your friend because she was dating a former roommate? Their roommate wasn’t there anymore, but I was still around.
What was I supposed to do?
What were they supposed to do?
Elise clapped her hands, bringing me out of my thoughts. “Come on, let’s get the boxes inside.”
“I suppose we’ll need to be the ones to move the furniture?” Tanner asked from the side, his voice low. He never did anything quickly, never shouted—except for that one time. I had never seen him move as fast as he had when he punched Sanders and then kept beating him. Sanders had fought back, and both of them had ended up with bloody lips and bruised eyes, but Tanner hadn’t said a thing to me afterward. He’d barely even looked at me since I’d walked in on Sanders getting a blowjob from a girl I didn’t even know.
I pushed those thoughts from my mind and closed my eyes, counting to ten. I needed to focus on the now, on the future. I had a future planned. That was me. What I was known for. This semester would be amazing. I had classes that mattered and a program I would begin over the summer that I needed to plan for and make sure my grades were ready for. I had a path. I just needed to focus on that and not on my personal life.
Except for the fact that I kind of missed the whole relationship and sex thing. I wasn’t going to think about that, though. Because I didn’t need it. Not everybody needed an emotional connection or even a physical one. They lived their lives perfectly without any of that. I could be one of those people.
At least, I hoped.
“Okay, let’s get this done,” Dillon said, and then he whistled through his fingers.
“Did you just whistle?” Nessa asked, and Dillon shrugged, blushing.
“He’s like that. Positively annoying,” Pacey said and grinned down at Nessa.
Miles, the final roommate, simply shrugged. “Well, it got our attention, didn’t it?”
“We should get going. I have a list.” I pulled out my tablet and clipboard. “And I have assignments if you’ll let me.”
“You have a list? Shocking,” Pacey said as he came over to me.
I raised a brow. “Are you making fun of me?”
“I would never make fun of you, darling.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I feel like that’s a lie.”
“Perhaps. But I’m not making fun of you right now. How’s that? Now, for real, give us our assignments before I freeze my bollocks off.”
I snorted and then did my best not to think about Pacey like that. Sometimes, I couldn’t help it, though. He was all blond and blue-eyed…and British. It was a little too much with the alliteration of sexiness. I did my best not to think about guys at all like that anymore. It’d only been five weeks since I walked in on Sanders and that girl. And I had been with Sanders since the cradle, as we all joked. In reality, we had been in middle school when we started dating, and we hadn’t dated anyone else since. At least, that’s what I had thought. As it turned out, Sanders had figured that blowjobs and whatever the hell else he was doing didn’t count as cheating. He was wrong, and so, here I was, alone and on a new path. But that was fine. I would find what worked for me even if I wanted to throw up in the end.
I pushed those thoughts away and looked down at my notes. “I do have assignments.”
“We’re here,” Tanner said. “And I’m about to freeze my balls off, not my bollocks.”
“Whatever words you boys think you need to use, that’s what we’re going to freeze off.” Pacey waved him off.
I shook my head, ignoring the two of them as they continued talking about balls. Guys. I gave out everyone’s assignments. They nodded, and we got busy. It was heavy work, strenuous, and soon, no one was freezing anymore. We were all sweaty and trying to ignore the chill.
By the time we got the furniture in and set up, I was glad that I had ordered in lunch. We had Chinese food delivered for everybody and dove in while still unpacking some boxes. We wouldn’t get to everything tonight, and I didn’t expect the guys to help us with that, but they were great at reaching things that we couldn’t.
They moved in couches, beds, and all the other random, assorted furniture we had gathered over time. Most of it was Natalie’s. Her family had furnished the house they’d lived in prior, and they had most everything they needed, though Natalie didn’t like to talk about it. Considering I enjoyed sitting on the couch instead of on the living room floor, I didn’t mind. The set was comfortable, made well, and I had a feeling far more expensive than anything I could afford.
“Okay, lunch is over. Let’s get back to it,” Miles announced and blushed as we all stared at him.
“Look at you, taking the reins,” Pacey said, and the other guy flipped him off.
“I can take the reins just fine, Pacey. I just tend to be quieter than the rest of you.”