I jolted, struck speechless.
“Do not fail, Trueborn. You will need him to defeat Gabriel. You will need everything to defeat the Harbinger,” the Throne said, and I wondered if he knew where Roth and Layla were currently. I wisely decided to not even address that as the intense golden glow rippled over him. My eyes watered and ached. “It may already be too late for him. Many who Fell were far too lost even after being entombed to be given the choice of redemption. I hope for your sake that is not the case. Gabriel will be the least of your concerns. Your Fallen, in his current state, can kill you. So be careful. It would be most displeasing for you to die by the hands of the one who Fell to be with you.”
Displeasing?
I could think of a lot more descriptive words. Horrific. Heartbreaking. Messed up. Agonizing. Tragic.
I exhaled roughly. “And if it did work,” I started, and then corrected myself. “If I am successful, will Zayne return to being an angel?” I asked, my heart squeezing for a whole different reason.
Angels didn’t have emotions. Or at least that’s what I’d always believed, and Gabriel pretty much confirmed that. If Zayne was restored, I wouldn’t get him back. Not like before. But he would be okay. He would be alive, and that...that had to be enough.
The Throne studied me silently for a couple of seconds. “Many believe that demons are incapable of love, do they not? As they do not have a human soul.”
A shiver of unease drifted through me. Was he reading my mind?
God, I hoped not.
But demons could love. Roth loved Layla, and he was the Crown Prince of Hell.
The angel tilted his head. “Contrary to what is known and what some of our brethren will even claim, angels are not incapable of emotion, Trueborn. We just feel things...differently. For the oldest among us, it is difficult, but we are not incapable of love or lust or hate,” he continued. “Those who Fell are proof. Gabriel is proof of that now.”
As I stared at him, I realized that he was right. The angels who Fell did so because they caved to a whole slew of human emotions, and Gabriel...he had a mad case of jealousy and bitterness. Relief swept through me—
“But Zayne would not become an angel. He would not become a Warden. He would remain as he is,” the Throne continued. “A Fallen who is earthbound, with one foot in Heaven and the other in Hell. There is only one other who was shunned by the Heavens and retained his grace.”
My chest hollowed. “Lucifer.”
“And you see how that turned out for him.”
With that little piece of extremely distressing news and possibly the most demotivating pep talk, the Throne vanished, taking with him the frigid air and scent of sandalwood.
I had no idea how long I stood there, staring at the spot of the Blessed Sacrament, my mind alternating between being incapable of believing what the Throne had said I needed to do and inherently knowing there was no choice.
And the latter was true whether the Throne was right or wrong.
Slowly, I turned around. The stone angels were bowing over their basins once more. My gaze lifted to the pews. I couldn’t let Zayne become something that he would’ve been horrified by, a monster that would eventually tarnish and destroy everything good about who he’d been. There was no way I could allow that, because for him, that would be a fate worse than death.
There really was no choice.
I sighed heavily, but with the next breath I took, steely determination filled me, dulling the pain and replacing the bone-deep exhaustion. There was a tiny spark of hope feeding the energy now buzzing through me, but I knew what I faced.
Either I saved Zayne or I killed him.
Or...he killed me.
3
There was a lot I needed to be focused on right now. During the upcoming Transfiguration, which was only weeks away, Gabriel planned on creating a rift between Earth and Heaven so that the demon Bael and souls that belonged to Hell could enter Heaven. I needed to find a way to stop him. That was my duty as the Trueborn—what I’d been waiting for—but I knew I wasn’t enough to defeat Gabriel on my own. That was why Roth and Layla were trying to bring Lucifer topside. That was why the Throne had said I needed Zayne to defeat Gabriel. I should be working on a plan in case Roth and Layla failed, but Zayne...he was the priority now.
My duty would have to wait, and I didn’t care if that ticked God off.
So the first thing I did when I walked outside the church was pull my phone out of my back pocket. Thankfully, the thing had survived me being thrown around like a rag doll.
Squinting at the light of the screen, I opened up my contacts. At some point, Zayne had added Nicolai’s number in my phone. In case of an emergency, he’d said one night while we’d been hunting the Harbinger and the demon Bael.
If this wasn’t an emergency, I didn’t know what was.
I needed to give Nicolai and the clan a heads-up about Zayne just in case they came into contact with him. If he didn’t remember me, I doubted he’d recognize them.
Heart heavy, my fingers tightened around the phone. Nicolai, the head of the DC clan of Wardens, answered on the second ring. “Hello?”
“Nicolai? It’s Trinity,” I said, keeping my eyes peeled wide, just in case Zayne decided that staying hidden from humans wasn’t high on the priority list. “I need to see you. It’s an emergency.”
“Is everything okay?” he asked, concern evident in his voice. He’d visited more than once, along with Danika, while I’d been healing. He and Danika were...dating? Wardens didn’t really date. They met and mated, but Nicolai and Danika were breaking with that tradition. “Hell,” he said after a moment. “That’s a stupid question. Are things as okay as they can be?”
“Well.” I drew the word out, watching the blurred faces of people passing by, holding their umbrellas as if they had a hope of stopping the rain that was coming in sideways now. What I needed to tell him was not something to be done over the phone. “Kind of. And kind of not. I need to talk to you in person.”
“You at the apartment? I can be there in twenty.”
“I’m not at the apartment,” I answered. “I think I’m at Saint Patrick’s church?”
A moment of silence followed that statement. “Do I want to know what you’re doing there?”
“Probably not, but I’ll tell you all about it.”
“Okay. Give me one second.” There was a rustling of papers, and then he said, “Dez should be near there. I’ll have him grab a car and pick you up.” There was a pause while I wondered if he kept Warden schedules on paper. “You alone?”
“I’m demon free,” I said, keeping my voice low.