Even as I say it, I don't believe myself. I take my tired ass inside the house and look for some food in my fridge. I heat up a microwave dinner and then pop down in front of my big-screen television and put on a movie. Gladiator it is. As someone who works with metal, I enjoy the artistry of the pieces in movies like these. It brings me a hint of peace until the epically brutal scene with his family. I turn it off, hating it. Until I met Jules, that scene didn’t bother me. Now, it’s like a punch in the gut.
Now more than ever, I know it's for the best that I keep away from Jules. Danger's lurking around every corner with the cartel and their buddies.
My mind goes to the attack on Mick and Morgan, and I can't let that be my sweet Jules. I take another bite of this fake-ass lasagna but spit it back into the container.
The food tastes like shit, but I'm not sure if it's because I've lost my appetite, or if it's the overly preservative-filled meal that does it. I get up and toss it into the garbage, deciding to work off the anger, lust, and frustration.
I have six clients waiting on their pieces. If I keep up this pace, I'll have them completed well ahead of schedule.
I work for another couple hours until my exhaustion hits me like a bat to the head; I'm done with everything for the day. Tomorrow, I'll pick up where I left off. Pulling out a beer, I guzzle it down and take a shower.
As worn out as I am, sleep doesn’t come to me easily. I spend the night tossing and turning, thinking about my woman. Jules is five feet, three inches of pure sweetness—long, brown hair with light highlights and light brown eyes that almost match mine, except when you get a close enough look to see the flecks of green in them. She’s too perfect for a man like me, a battle-hardened specialist with the conversational skills of a hermit. I want her to the point of insanity, but I don’t deserve her.
Growling and turning over, I punch my pillow and nestle down in an attempt to get a few more winks before my damn alarm goes off.
****
The next time my eyes open, the sun is beaming through my bedroom window. I force myself to get up and get my coffee.
It's nearly eight in the morning when my coffee's finished brewing and my cell phone goes off, which reminds me—I need to pick up a new one.
"Good morning, Pops. Is something wrong?" My dad never calls this early, especially because it’s freaking cold in Chicago. Staying under the covers always sounds good in the winter.
"Your sister called your mother last night." Of course she did, the little brat.
I roll my eyes while pouring a cup of coffee. "Oh great. What did that girl have to say?" I huff.
"That you have women troubles." Not exactly. It’s one-woman trouble.
"I don't. Your daughter has it in her head that I have a crush on a girl that used to work for the bakery here. She's too young for me, but I told Roxie this several times,” I explain, hoping to get him off my back.
"So you don't like her, or she's too young for you?" Too damn perceptive.
"Okay. I think she's hot, but like I said, I'm not interested because she's barely legal. Now—I'm going into the forge for the rest of the day. I'll be seeing you soon." I can’t deal with this right now.
"Take care of yourself and your crazy sister."
I laugh. "I will, Pops." We hardly have a long conversation, and I'm sure my mother put him up to calling. I'm going to make Roxie pay for that bullshit. Shaking my head, I plan my day out before heading into my workshop.
I managed to finish the first order last night, and the second is nearly there. I have to attach the handle and test if it fits in my hand. The man requesting the piece is about my size, so I have to test it before shipping it to him.
The rest of the day goes the same way it did yesterday. I'm onto the fourth order by the time I call it a night.
Sadly, all this work still hasn't made me tired enough to push Jules out of my mind. Tonight, sleep comes easily, but Jules is in all of my dreams. I don't know how long this will last, but I have to get her out of my head, or drag her back to Steeleville kicking and screaming.
Chapter Three
Blade
It’s been six and a half months since I let Jules run out of my life without even a goodbye. I want to kick my own ass daily for letting her go, but then I think about the fact that she probably forgot about me and I was the one obsessed. It’s all for the best because shit has hit the fucking fan repeatedly. Another attack on our guys and their women: Beast and his wife, Mary, and then the shit that went down with my sister’s man in Vegas. The mess traveling to Steeleville along with Ghost’s wife being a target too—it was just too much.
I run my hands through my short hair, tugging on the small strands. Fuck—I can’t risk Jules’s life like that. It kills me that I have to keep her away, but it’s for the best. I clench my fists several times as I remember that she doesn’t want to be tied to my kind of life; it should be easy for me to push her aside, but in my heart, I know I can’t. It’s been over seven months since we met, and she’s still all I think about. Crystal, Sophia, Grace, and the rest all wanted to be with the guys despite the risks. Jules isn’t the same.
Still, I find myself looking in the mirror, getting ready to see my sweet fascination. Penny’s scheduled to visit her family for Jules’s birthday party, and I promised to drive with them for protection. I can’t say that I’m not going just to get a glimpse of Jules, because I am. Hell, that’s why Jackson asked me. The fucker isn’t blind, even though I’ve done my best to hide my heartache. I miss her more and more, but I can’t justify making her give up her life in Dallas for a life she would resent.
I drive to the bakery where I’m to meet them. Jumping out of my SUV, I see Penny waiting by the door with a cart of treats. “Right on time,” Jackson says, reaching out to shake my hand as I approach.
“You know me.” I shrug.
“Your hair looks cute like that,” Penny says. “That messy, ‘just had sex’ look works for you.” It’s just slightly longer than my normal buzz cut—just enough to be messy.
“Penelope, he is my friend. Don’t make me kill him,” Jackson growls. “Two orgasms this morning, and you’re still thinking about sex.”
“Oh, hush. I’m just saying Blade looks good for my cousin,” she says, tossing me a wink.
“Your cousin doesn’t want anything to do with me, so what would it matter if I look good?” I remind her.
Penny throws her head back like she was slapped. “Doesn’t want anything to do with you? Who fed you that lie?” I’d love to believe her, but I have two people she told separately that she didn’t want our lifestyle.
“The last time I saw her, she gave me the cold shoulder and said I was just a stranger to her.”
“Wow. What did you do to piss her off, then? That’s not like Jules at all.”
“I don’t know. Anyways, it doesn’t matter. Are we ready to go?” I ask, running out of patience. A big part of me longs to see Jules, and another is going to be upset if she’s seeing someone else.
“Yes. Let’s load these bad boys up.” I rub my hands together and open up the back of my truck. I start loading them while Jackson helps Penny into the back seat. She’s about to give birth soon, and it’s starting to show.