According to Pop Pop, Sunday had found a box of lightbulbs, which she’d painted with bright, festive, colorful holiday scenes. Somehow, every single one of those glass ornaments had survived countless decades—which was no small miracle, considering how rowdy the Collins boys could get—and they were always the last ornaments to be placed on the tree.
Sunnie held the phone as Colm, Finn, Padraig, and Oliver each took one from the box.
When Oliver’s dad lived here with his siblings, the honor of hanging the ornaments belonged to Sunday, and then, after her passing, Pop Pop. However, since then, the cousins had begun to take turns because Pop Pop refused to take the ornaments with him when he moved out, insisting that they belonged in Sunday’s home.
This year was Oliver’s turn, but as his gaze landed on Gavin, who gave him a thumbs-up and a wink that didn’t hide the fact he was as touched as the others in this room by the annual tradition, he decided to add someone new to the rotation.
Oliver held out the ornament he held. “Your turn this year, Gavin.”
Gavin appeared surprised as he looked at Colm, Padraig, and Finn.
“Get up here, cuz,” Padraig said, gesturing for Gavin to join them.
Gavin stepped next to Oliver, not bothering to hide his surprise…and gratitude. “You sure?”
Oliver handed him the ornament. “Don’t drop it,” he joked, though the huskiness of his voice lessened the effect.
“Thanks,” he said, low enough Oliver was certain he was the only one to hear it.
Oliver wondered how long it would take for Gavin to believe he truly was a part of this family. He’d lived amongst them for nine years now, but even after all that time, the memories of his mother and the trauma caused by her physical and mental abuse still cast a wide shadow over his life.
Oliver lightly hip-bumped him and smiled. “You belong here, brother.”
“Okay, you guys ready?” Sunnie held the phone up so Pop Pop could watch as each of them placed the ornaments on the tree. They’d purposely kept a section front and center clear of ornaments so that these would stand out. One by one, they added them to the tree, and as they did so, Sunnie led them in a round of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” Oliver could hear Pop Pop’s voice bellowing out the words through the phone.
Once all the ornaments were in place, they stood back to admire their work.
“Best tree yet,” he heard Pop Pop say before bidding them all good night.
After that, the rest of the family began to leave until it was just Gavin, Oliver, and Erin left in the apartment. She topped up each of their mugs with the last of the eggnog, and the three of them sat together watching the tree lights flicker.
Oliver and Erin cuddled on the couch as Gavin reclaimed his spot in the recliner. Oliver wondered how many nights in the past year the three of them had been right here, just like this. He’d started dating Erin shortly before Friendsgiving last year, their relationship becoming more serious shortly after the holidays.
“I thought Zach was coming to Friendsgiving tonight,” Erin said, glancing at Gavin.
Gavin never seemed at a loss to find guys to date, but none of them lasted long.
“No. That’s over. Guy was too over-the-top dramatic. Sort of wore me out.”
Erin laughed softly even as she rolled her eyes. “You’re too picky.”
“Naw. All the good gay guys have already been snatched up.”
Oliver felt Gavin’s eyes on him as he spoke. Erin didn’t miss the look either.
“You could always come to the dark side and find yourself a girlfriend like me,” Oliver joked.
“Do it. Do it,” Erin chanted, deepening her voice, as if she were some Disney villain luring the hero to evil.
Gavin waved them off. “Gay. Not bi. Remember?”
Oliver sighed and looked away for a moment, wishing he could find some way to move beyond these damn dreams. He had Erin now. That should be enough.
No. It was enough. It was.
Maybe if he told himself that enough times, he’d start to believe it.
Erin, bless her, always found a way to distract him from his heavy thoughts. “Oh, I forgot to tell you. Jordan moved out this morning.”
“I thought she was staying in the apartment until the New Year?” Gavin mused.
Erin shrugged. “Decided she wanted to spend the holidays with her new beau at their place.”
“Are we taking bets on how long it takes until the relationship fails and she comes back?” Oliver asked, completely ready to put money down on it. The gambling gene ran deep in the Collins family.
Erin shook her head. “Hell no. I’m not doing that again. I’m putting out feelers for a new roommate on Monday. Jordan needs to learn she can’t keep screwing me like this. She falls in love in a hot minute, moves in with the loser, falls out of love in the next minute, then comes back to me with her tail between her legs, begging for her old room. Do you know how many months’ rent she’s screwed me out of with this game? I can’t afford her anymore.”
Oliver nodded, feigning support, even as he knew Erin’s words were merely bravado. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind she’d take Jordan back because Erin had a heart as big as New York and softer than a marshmallow.
“You know, you could always give up your place and move in here with us.”
If he’d been a smart man, he would have broached that subject with Gavin first, and privately, but he’d had one too many mugs of eggnog, and his mouth was working faster than his brain. Still, neither he nor Erin missed the sudden change in expression on Gavin’s face.
He had to hand it to his foster brother. He schooled it quickly, but for a split second, there was no missing the frown…or was it a scowl?
Shit.
Luckily, Erin knew how to save him from himself. “Hell no. Y’all are slobs, and while I don’t mind visiting this testosterone-laden abode from time to time, it’s nice to have a chance to escape it at the end of the day.”
“Speaking of escapes,” Gavin added. “I’m done in. Think I’ll call it a night. See you in the morning.” He rose from the recliner, carrying his empty mug to the kitchen.
Neither Oliver nor Erin spoke until they heard him walk down the hall, closing his bedroom door behind him.
“Oops,” Oliver mumbled.
Erin shook her head, but her gentle smile told him she wasn’t mad at him. It was one of the things he loved the most about her. She was slow to anger, quick to forgive, and the most patient person he’d ever known. He’d dated enough high-maintenance women to appreciate Erin’s easygoing approach to life. “I know you say you’ve moved on, Ollie—”
“I have moved on.”
Erin shook her head, refusing to accept what they both knew was a lie. “I know what you want, but Gavin doesn’t want the same.”
“I don’t—” he started.
She cut him off with a wave of her hand. “You’ve said I’m enough, Ollie. And I believe you. But I also know there’s still a part of you that longs for more. You don’t have to hide that from me.”
Oliver ran his hand through his hair, frustrated. “Erin,” he started.
“Don’t,” Erin cut in. “Don’t pretend for me. We’ve been together long enough that I know you still harbor that dream of a relationship like the one your parents share. And I also know you keep trying to put me and Gavin in those roles.”