Home > Smolder(2)

Smolder(2)
Author: Emma Renshaw

I’d kept him as a reminder of my first crush. It was the only thing I could find in my room that gave me even a little bit of pain. My world was a happy one. The girls joked that I had a charmed life. It always made me roll my eyes, but my parents were together and happily in love. Zoe’s had taken off on a trip around the world years ago, forgetting they had a daughter somewhere along the way. Macy and Allison had their troubles too.

Even with this pregnancy being before I was quite ready, I was happy and knew I would have support. So it was definitely time to get rid of the bear, the only reminder of my heartache at seven years old.

I strolled away from Declan once I found Allison and Macy in the crowd. When I was halfway there, I stole a peek over my shoulder to find him in the same spot, staring after me, and I knew he wouldn’t move until I reached my friends. I shot him a wink, and my heart fluttered with his answering smile.

Zoe showed up minutes later, carrying a huge framed picture of her family. My bear definitely paled in comparison to her choice. I wrapped an arm around her and kissed her cheek, providing some silent support. Macy was getting rid of a locket from an ex-boyfriend that had treated her terribly. Allison was getting rid of one of her bras because people made fun of her breast size. I loved my friends; they were so strong.

While we toasted and cheered, I had to consciously keep from touching my stomach. I wouldn’t be showing for several months, and no one but the boy across the field knew this secret. As if I had called his name, Declan turned his head meeting my gaze. His smile was brilliant and I swooned there on the spot.

He was right. We would be okay; we’d find a way to make it work. The future may not be as pretty as the one we’d painted in our minds beneath the stars, but through it, Declan and I would be together and loving each other. I’d be by his side as his dreams came true, and he’d be the greatest husband and father. I swallowed some apple juice before my eyes turned misty.

I tossed my bear into the fire first, almost completely missing the flames. Allison went next, flinging the bra straight into the fire, and next up was Macy. And, finally, Zoe was the last of us to let go of the pain that we carried around and refused to take any more of.

Zoe stepped back just in time for a branch to crack. I wasn’t sure if it was my imagination or if it was real, but the bonfire tower swayed for a moment before toppling over. Flaming branches fell from above as we turned to run. I glanced to the side, toward where Declan had been standing, but couldn’t see him past the pile of burning wood. Macy screamed and fell, taking me with her. I got up, but she was stuck, Allison was pinned, and Zoe was unconscious. I started screaming, trying to drag them away from the fire, but nothing worked.

Macy and Allison died while I screamed for help. Zoe was holding on, but she wasn’t waking up. It could’ve been minutes or hours until a firefighter pushed me away while I told him that Macy and Allison were dead. Tears were streaming down my face, and my skin hurt and eyes burned. “Save Zoe,” I begged him before running toward the safety area, but I didn’t know if it would be safe enough.

The fire was spreading over the dry grass, catching too fast. I pushed through the bodies, calling Declan’s name. Ambulances were coming and leaving with people loaded in the back. Fire departments from surrounding towns were arriving to assist, and I still couldn’t find Declan.

I spotted Gunner, Declan’s best friend, on a stretcher heading toward the open doors of an ambulance. “Gunner!” I ran across the field, pushing people aside. His arm was badly burned and he was groaning in pain, clenching his teeth.

His eyes found mine. They were destroyed with anguish. “Makenna,” he whispered.

“Where’s Declan? Is he hurt?”

The paramedics pushed me back, and Gunner screamed in pain as the stretcher hit the back of the ambulance. “I’m sorry, Makenna. I’m sorry.”

“Where is he?” I yelled.

Tears ran down his cheeks like little rivers, and I shook my head. “No. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re hurt and you must be confused. You’re wrong.”

I took off running to search for him. “Makenna!” Gunner called after me once before the paramedics shut the doors taking him to the hospital.

He was wrong. Gunner had to be wrong. I raced toward the where I’d last seen him, dodging firefighters until one grabbed my arms, pushing me back. I fought against him. “Let me go! I need to find Declan! Declan!” I screamed his name over and over while I fought against the barrel-chested firefighter.

Then I stopped fighting.

I saw him just before a blanket was laid over him, next to other blanket-covered bodies. His eyes were open and he was so still. “Declan,” I yelled one last time before I fell to my knees on the ground.

Macy and Allison were dead.

I didn’t know if Zoe had been saved.

Declan was gone. I clutched my stomach and screamed while I cried. He couldn’t be gone. He promised me he’d marry me one day. He promised we’d be together.

The last piece of Declan I would ever have was this baby inside me, but now I was alone. Without Declan, none of this made sense. My life had been so tightly interwoven with his, and without him, I would unravel.

“He promised we’d get married,” I whispered as I cried.

 

 

1

 

 

Makenna—Present Day

 

 

I was armed and ready. Burp cloths for spit up? Check. An outfit change for the little cuties? Check. Diaper bag with diapers and milk? Double check. I also had a rattle stuffed in the back pocket of my jeans so I could try to make the twins smile or, at the very least, look toward the camera. Aubrey and Nico, Zoe and Ridge’s twins, were just about three months old and they were trying to capture a family portrait in front of the spot where they were going to break ground to build Georgia’s House, a home for adults with debilitating diseases in honor of Zoe’s aunt Georgia.

Georgia passed away from ALS after Zoe had been caring for her for years. She was also the reason Zoe specialized in elderly and end-of-life nursing. Ridge and Zoe were building a new facility for people with ALS, or any other chronic disease, where they could live and be treated like family. She wanted to do everything possible so it would not feel like a hospital. They were breaking ground in a matter of days.

Zoe had come a long way from the girl that was hurt and angry after her parents abandoned her. Now she had a man that was crazy in love with her and two babies who gazed at her like she was the center of the universe. My heart ached even looking at them. I batted away my jealousy when Ridge leaned in, kissing Zoe’s temple. I was so happy for her. And for him. But occasionally when I saw my friends blissfully happy with the men they loved, my chest clenched in pain and flashes of Declan’s easy smile appeared in my mind.

It’d been thirteen long years since the night I lost the boy I loved. In those thirteen years, I hadn’t had much in the way of relationships. I’d dated, but as soon as feelings were involved, I packed my baggage, of which I had plenty, and ran the other way.

My throat clogged as Zoe nuzzled Aubrey. The shutter of the photographer’s camera snapped photos, and I turned my face away, staring off into the distance, working on a fake smile.

“Makenna, let’s try to get these babies to smile,” Jojo, the photographer, said.

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