Josh opened his mouth to respond, then froze.
“It makes sense, but what if she doesn’t see it and you have to explain it?”
He blinked at me. “I guess I’ll just drop to one knee and do it normally.”
“Why not just do that anyway?”
“I’m trying to make it special. Am I overcomplicating things?”
“Yes.”
“You’re supposed to tell me I’m not.”
“Dude. You’re talking about proposing to my little sister.” I leaned forward and met his eyes. “You could toss that question out in the fuckin’ bread aisle and she’d say yes. She loves you, and she’s going to say yes to you no matter how or when you ask her. So yeah, you’re overcomplicating the shit out of it.”
He buried his face in his hands. “You’re right. But she reads all that romantic shit in her books and just last week she read one where the guy proposed in a helicopter. A helicopter. And she was literally fucking crying as she was reading. How am I supposed to compete with that?”
“Skywriting?”
“Be realistic, Colton.”
“I am.” I leaned back, reaching my arms in front of me and clasping my fingers to stretch. “That’s about all that can top that, but I already know you can’t afford it.”
“You’re supposed to be helpful.”
“I am being helpful. Josh, you’re holding yourself to an impossible standard. Her books are fiction, man. They aren’t real. Most real guys don’t do half the shit that’s in those books. Because it’s fantasy.” I raised my eyebrows. “You can’t compete with that. That’s the damn truth. So stop thinking about what she’d like in a book and what she’d like you to do.”
“What’s he crying about now?” Kai asked, joining us at the table.
“Proposing to my sister,” I replied.
“And you were obviously the correct person to come to,” Josh said dryly. “Very helpful.”
“Ask him, then. He’s the one who’s married. He’ll give you better advice than me.” I shrugged, gesturing toward Kai. “Tell him what you just told me.”
Josh did, almost word for word.
Just as I’d suspected, Kai snorted, and repeated what I had. “You can’t compete with the books. And you shouldn’t even try.”
“Exactly what I said.”
Josh sighed. “I’m overthinking this.”
“She’d say yes to you in the bread aisle,” Kai continued.
“I said that, too.” I uncapped my water bottle.
“Don’t be a bitch, Colton.” Kai smirked at me. “Shouldn’t you be fraternizing with your online friends?”
That killed my mood. “Don’t you start, too.”
“Online friends?” Josh paused. “Ah, right. She told you. For what it’s worth, I told her to stop, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I didn’t. And she’s not going to stop.”
I looked at Kai. “How did you know?”
“We were in the store yesterday getting some books for Tegan. Kid can’t read, but what do I know?” He shrugged and popped open his bag of chips. “Kinsley and Ivy were talking about it. She’s determined to get you dating.”
I grunted. It seemed like everyone but me was in on it. “Not happening.”
“I told them that, but they weren’t in a listening mood. That’s why my kid has forty books before she’s a year old.”
“Only forty?”
“I was being conservative,” Kai muttered.
“Of course you were.” I rubbed my hand over my mouth. “Your sister around tonight?”
He shook his head. “Jasmine is watching Tegan and Leo. Dinner is on.”
“Good. I have to get back to work before Jacob kicks my ass.” I balled my trash up in my fist. “Seven?”
“Seven,” they both echoed.
With that, I left the table and headed back to the worksite.
Apparently, this playground was not going to build itself.
CHAPTER FIVE – TORI
rule five: abort. frigging. mission.
My best friends had lost their frigging minds.
That guy was not the one for me.
Not only did he live with his mom, but he’d never lived anywhere other than with her.
Now, that wasn’t a bad thing. I wasn’t someone who discriminated based on someone’s living circumstances, but I was all kinds of done when he told me he had to get back to her because her TV show was about to start and he couldn’t miss it.
The only saving grace was that he’d paid the bar bill.
Needless to say, it was the last time they were going to set me up with someone. They weren’t even going near my online dating accounts—they weren’t even having a say in it.
Especially since they’d tricked me into meeting that moron in the first place.
I shoved open the door to Bronco’s with a huff. It wasn’t hard to locate my friends—they were in our usual booth with the table extended. It was a perk of knowing the owner’s kids… And being in here all the time.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I slapped my hands on the edge of the table, and all the girls—Kinsley, Ivy, Holley, Saylor, London, and Piper—turned to look at me. “Do you get pleasure from my misery? Are you enjoying my pain? Do you know just how bad the last hour of my life has been?”
“Don’t blame me. I said it was a bad idea.” London pulled the cherry on a stick from her drink and popped it into her mouth.
“Second that,” Piper said, scooting along so I could sit.
“Oh, I’m not blaming you,” I said firmly. “I’m blaming you.” I focused on the other four harlots on the other side of the table and sat down. “Explain yourselves. Immediately.”
Kinsley swallowed. “Well, it’s like this.”
“We wanted to get you laid,” Saylor said brightly, completely unbothered by my glare. “It didn’t go well, then?”
“Didn’t go well? Didn’t go well?” I repeated.
Kinsley shoved her glass of wine at me. “Before you explode.”
I took it and downed it, emptying the glass.
“I didn’t mean all of it,” she muttered.
“The guy was a lout. A useless, lazy lout of a man,” I ranted, grasping the stem of the glass. “Not only did you trick me into meeting him, there isn’t anyone worse you could have set me up with.”
“Except Colton,” Saylor added, still annoyingly chipper.
“Except Colton,” I conceded. “He still lives with his mom. He watches TV shows with his mom.
“That’s kind of cute.” Ivy chewed on her straw. “In a weird, slightly co-dependent way.”
“He literally cut the so-called date short to get back to her.”
“A little bit more than slightly co-dependent, then.”
“You think?” I waited as Josh approached with a tray of drinks.
“Shit. I didn’t know you were here, Tori. Sorry. I’ll run back.” He set the tray on the table.