“That’s not enough,” he said gently.
“It is for me,” she said with a tired smile. It had been a long night.
“What about your sister, the nun? Why don’t you see her?”
“I can’t stand nuns. We were very close until she took the cowardly way out, eighteen years ago. We haven’t been close ever since. The last time I saw her was at my son’s funeral. I don’t miss her,” she said sharply. “She’s not the same person she used to be. Neither am I. I took care of her after our parents died. She was twelve, I was eighteen. I became her only parent then. It made me grow up very quickly. I spent all my college years taking care of her. She went nuts at twenty-five and joined a religious order. I was furious with her. We drifted apart after that. I got married a year later, and had Robbie. And our lives were too different from then on.”
“Why do you hate nuns?” There was a hardness in her that he had guessed at, and glimpsed, but never seen full on before.
“That’s a long story you don’t need to know. I just do. My mother was a religious fanatic and would have loved it if we’d both become nuns. She got her wish with my sister, although my mother was long dead by then. There was no risk of it with me. I gave up on religion a long time ago, at sixteen.” To Norm, it sounded like she had given up on everything, people, life, her family, God. All she had left was this house. It made him realize more than ever what it meant to her, and it explained why she never let anyone get close to her. She was locked behind her walls, alone. “Do you want something to eat?” she offered. The sun was coming up by then, and she made it clear that the subject of her past was closed. He nodded, and she made scrambled eggs for both of them. They ate, talking about the fire, and then he left. He still wanted to see what he could do to help with the fire as a volunteer. He knew that Melissa was safe now, and could manage on her own. She would have done so anyway, even without him, but he was glad he’d been there with her. He admired her more than ever now, but also felt sorry for her as never before. Now he knew what she was running from, or what had driven her into seclusion in the mountains. It was a glimpse into who she was, which he had never fully understood before.
* * *
—
Melissa put the dishes in the dishwasher after Norm left, a little sorry that she had told him about Robbie. He didn’t need to know. They were on friendly terms, but they weren’t close. The photos of Robbie were still in the pillowcase on a kitchen chair. The phone rang shortly after seven, and she was startled when she heard a familiar voice she hadn’t heard in years.
“I’ve been watching the news in New York. Are you okay, Mellie?” It was Hattie. They always communicated by letter or email. She hadn’t heard her voice in six years. At forty-three, Hattie still sounded like a kid. “I’ve been praying for you all night.”
“I don’t believe in that,” Melissa reminded her, “but it must have worked. The wind suddenly turned two hours ago, and my house was spared. A lot of other people lost their homes, though. The fire is still out of control, but it’s not heading here for now.” But that could change in an instant if the wind shifted again.
“I’m so relieved. We were praying for them too. Did you have any damage?”
“We might have some singed trees at the edge of the property, but it never got to the house. It was heading straight for us last night. They tried to evacuate me, but I stayed.”
“You shouldn’t have. Are you okay, Mel? I mean other than the fire.”
“Of course. I’m fine. How are you? Still the angel of mercy, nursing gunshot wounds in the Bronx?” The hospital where she worked was in one of the worst neighborhoods in New York.
“Yes, I am. I miss you. I think about you a lot.” There was a long silence between them then, and neither of them knew what to say. The chasm between them was vast, and had been for so many years. It was hard to bridge that now, except with brief emails wishing each other a merry Christmas, or a happy birthday. The wound between them suddenly seemed raw again. “Would you ever let me come to visit you?” Hattie asked her, and Melissa didn’t answer for a minute.
“I don’t know. Maybe. Why would you want to?”
“Because we’re still sisters. Our order doesn’t wear the habit anymore, except on important religious occasions. You could ignore the fact that I’m a nun.” She knew how Melissa hated seeing her in her habit.
“How could I forget that? You’re the better person, Hattie. There’s nothing left of who I was. Robbie took that person with him. I’m beginning to sound more like Mom,” she said matter-of-factly.
“You’ll always be my sister, and I’ll always love you. You did so much for me when we were growing up.”
“That was a long time ago. It was nice of you to call,” Melissa said with emotion in her voice. “I guess you could come up sometime, and see what I’ve been working on for four years.”
“Are you happy there?”
“It keeps me busy, and I’m at peace. That’s enough for me. I’m glad it didn’t burn down last night.”
“So am I,” her younger sister said with feeling. “I’d love to see you, Mellie.”
“I’ll think about it,” was all Melissa would commit to. “Take care, Hattie,” and then, at the very last second before they both hung up, she whispered, “I love you too,” and ended the call. It was the most emotional thing that had happened all night, as intense as almost losing the house. It reminded her that she still had a sister, whether she saw her or not, and no matter how far apart they had grown.
She put Robbie’s pictures back on the bookshelf then, went upstairs to lie on her bed, and thought of both of them, Robbie and Hattie. She wondered what it would be like to see her sister again. It had been a long frightening night, but thank God, the house she loved was safe. It would have broken what was left of her heart if it had burned to the ground. She had lost enough. She couldn’t lose the house too. Her mind was flooded with her memories of Hattie, all that they had been through and meant to each other so long ago. It frightened her to open the door to those feelings again. It brought so much with it that she wanted to forget.
Chapter 3
The fire was still raging out of control the next day, but it was well north of Melissa’s house, and the wind hadn’t shifted again. Firefighters were pouring in from Boston, other parts of Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New Hampshire, trying to get it under control. According to news reports, it was only ten percent contained.
Norm had spent the night on the fringes of it, with a group of volunteers. It was exhausting, frightening work.