I reached under the desk and yanked the cord from the outlet.
It probably wasn’t the best thing for the computer, but neither was a four-story drop from the window.
The elevator pinged and Garrison—one of the technicians—walked out, dust coating his coveralls. “The wires in this place look like they’re older than the damn building. They might as well be made of spaghetti.”
I shook my head at the guys who were both in their early twenties—less than ten years younger than me but sometimes it felt like fifty. “Neither of you would’ve survived the dial-up days. Imagine spending twenty hours illegally downloading a song, only to have someone pick up the phone and disconnect you.”
José shuddered. “My abuela had dial-up until I paid the cable company to upgrade it and tell her it was free. She still has a corded phone. Think she’ll be buried with that thing.”
Twisting my chair back and forth, I stared as the computer fought to reboot. I was beginning to think I’d have to physically restrain José from taking the ancient machine out to a field to beat it with a bat.
“Finally,” I said through a yawn when it finally loaded.
“You okay?” Garrison asked.
Leaning my head against the back of the chair, I closed my eyes. “Late night.”
“I know you’re good at your job and all, but even you can’t do it with your eyes closed.”
“Sure I can. And with one hand tied behind my back.”
“While hopping on one foot?” José asked.
“Nah, even I’m not that good.”
“I’ll make a coffee run,” Garrison offered.
I sat up and ran a palm down my face. “I’ll do it in a minute.”
José clicked some keys and was able to access the system without it freezing. “What the… Who installs extensions on a work toolbar? No wonder it’s running like a frozen snail.”
Checking the time, I stood and started for the elevator. “Don’t start a fight with their IT guy while I’m gone.”
“I’d be surprised if that moron knew how to work his door handle,” José said to my back.
He was probably right.
Briar
For spoiled pigeons
“HOW’RE YOU DOING, Briar?”
Not now.
I mean, technically not ever would be best. But I’ll settle for not now.
I just need a break.
A break wasn’t an option, though. Not when there were observant eyes watching my every move, analyzing and dissecting. Just looking for a reason to add sessions.
Or worse.
It was my fear of worse that had me turning to talk to Derrick. “I’m good, how’re you?”
“I’m glad you’re good.” He stepped closer, and even though it wasn’t an inappropriate closeness, I still had to lock my knees to keep from backing away. “Were you visiting Aria?”
I shook my head. “Just my Tuesday one-on-one.”
If group left me drained and annoyed, my weekly solo sessions with my psychologist left me completely deflated and flayed open. Dr. Linda didn’t hesitate to dig and force me to face things I’d rather keep buried. And that session, she may as well have been geared up like an archeologist because she had dug deep.
“Got it.” I hoped that meant he understood enough to let me flee so I could emotionally regroup, but that wasn’t the case. “How’s the shelter?”
“It’s good. We’ve got a lot of animals, including pigeons, if you’re looking to adopt.”
His eyes widened. “Pigeons? For real?”
“People are crazy,” I said before I could think better of the phrasing. Most docs, therapists, and mediators didn’t allow the c word—crazy not cunt. Insane, loco, and batshit were also off the table.
Mental health slurs was what they called them.
Thankfully, Derrick let it slide. “Maybe they had plans to bring back the homing pigeons.”
“These guys won’t even fly to their food bowl, so if that was the plan, it failed. Big time.”
“Shame. It could’ve been new competition for Twitter. Cooer.”
“Booooo,” I jeered, shaking my head.
I hoped I’d made enough small talk and could leave without it being a thing, but Derrick kept asking questions about the animals and my duties. None of it was invasive or heavy, but after such a rough session, my need for space and solitude was worse than usual.
And it was usually bad.
I thought I was doing an okay job hiding it, but after a million years—or so it seemed—Derrick paused and studied me.
I realized I was fidgeting with my hair, so I dropped my hand, but the damage was done.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I squeaked out past the anxiety elephant weighing on my chest.
“You sure? Is Aria here today?” There was a pause and his voice sounded odd when he added, “Or I could take you back to Dr. Linda?”
“No!” I quickly gained control of my panic before I drew attention. “I’m just hungry. I haven’t had lunch yet.”
Since he had his bag with him like he was leaving, I hoped like hell he wouldn’t offer to walk me out again. I wasn’t sure I could hold it together for another awkward stroll. Thankfully, he just returned my smile and said, “I’ll let you get some food then. See you at group.”
“Can’t wait,” I lied. I needed a week to recuperate, not just two days.
Usually, I took the stairs to avoid getting stuck in a metal box with strangers, but since that was the direction Derrick went, I headed for the elevator. I pressed the down arrow a million and ten times, as if that would magically make it open faster. When it dinged and the doors slid open, I was thankful to find it blissfully empty.
I got in and pressed the button for the lobby before going to town on the close-door one.
It was just as useless as the down button, and by the time the doors finally started to close, someone stuck their hand in, halting my escape.
The doors slid open and someone stepped in, but I didn’t look to see who or offer that weird grimace-smile thingy most people gave. I stared at the buttons in front of me like they were going to rearrange themselves to reveal the secrets of the universe.
According to Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, forty-two was the answer to the question of life.
Knowing how fucked up the world was, I was betting it was actually sixty-nine. Maybe four-twenty. Six-six-six? Any or all.
“Glad I didn’t bump into you this time,” a deep voice rumbled.
I thought he was talking to someone on the phone since it was a confusing—and insulting—thing to say. But when I glanced in his direction, I knew he was talking to me.
The bodyguard.
The one who’d literally bumped into me.
I was surprised to see him back at the center until I remembered what Aria had told me about the tech nerd upgrading the computer system.
Assuming that’s why he was there, I gave him a small smile. “I remembered to zip my purse today, so the outcome wouldn’t have been as bad.”
His smile wasn’t small. It was wide and easy, revealing perfect teeth to match the rest of his perfect face. He even smelled perfect, the fresh scent cutting through the stale elevator air.