“Well, I guess in this case his determination is harder than his dick.”
I wave as I turn and walk away to them all chuckling. I grin, because I can’t help it.
They make me laugh.
I like them a lot.
I walk to Wildflowers’ and grab my favorite seat that Eve always leaves free for me. She sees me and waves, walking over. “How’s it going? You given him a boner yet?”
“Eve!” Doris scoffs from her spot, already having turned when I walked in.
“Oh, come on, Doris, don’t act like you’re not foaming at the mouth for this gossip.”
The hilarious old woman grins.
I love her.
God, do I love her.
“Well, now you mention it ... tell me what’s going on now.”
Eve fills her in, while I sit there unable to wipe the grin off my face as Doris’ eyes widen. “Oh, love, you’re looking at it all wrong. It’s not sexual things that will get him going, it’s quite the opposite actually.”
“Go on,” I urge.
“If you want him, then he’s far more likely to be able to avoid wanting you back. If you don’t want him, and instead you’re seen with other men, looking gorgeous and sexy, he’s going to want you a whole lot more and your task will be easy.”
Doris is a genius. Genius, I tell you.
Adan was already taking a step toward me the minute he found out about Daniel, hell, he kissed me. She’s right.
Of course she’s right.
“Doris, you must have had quite the line up with you were younger,” Eve says, nodding in approval.
“Oh, honey, I was flicking them off.”
We all laugh.
“Well, your advice is greatly appreciated as always,” I say to Doris.
“It’s not advice, dear, it’s just common sense. I know a thing or two about men.”
I believe she does, yes.
“Well, it’s appreciated all the same. Have you found yourself a man to entertain you lately?” I ask her.
Eve chuckles as Doris scrunches up her face.
“No, dear. I’m done with men. I could go the rest of my short life without seeing another penis. And the balls? Yuck. I don’t understand why anyone goes searching for that.”
I burst out laughing, so hard I have to put my head in my hands because the other customers are watching. Eve struggles to smother a chuckle, because my god, if I can grow up to be just like Doris, my life will be completely fulfilled.
“I imagine the balls only get worse with age,” Eve says between laughter.
“Oh, you have no idea. They’re like turkey necks full of baseballs, they just stretch down further and further until they’re all you see. Very unattractive, dear, you’re not missing out. Enjoy them while they’re young.”
I have to turn my head away to try and get a breath between my laughter.
Oh, Doris.
“I have to get back to work before I pee my pants,” Eve says, turning and walking off, her shoulders still shaking with laughter.
The bell above the door dings, and I turn and see Adan walking in. I’m quite surprised, because usually I have to go and drag him out. Riggs comes in behind him and walks right out back. I watch as he pulls Eve into his arms and kisses her, his big body practically gulping hers right up. So romantic. I exhale and look to Adan who stops at my table.
“Is this him?” Doris asks, tipping her head back to look up at Adan. “He is quite nice, isn’t he? A bit pale, but it only adds to the edge.”
I bite my lip—my god, she’s bold.
“Adan, this is Doris. She tells it like it is, so don’t ask her a question. Doris, this is Adan.’
“Oh, dear, you’ll be fine.” Doris winks at me. “This one likes you.”
Adan grunts. “Don’t even want to know what you’ve been tellin’ her. We gotta go.”
“I’m just about to eat ...”
“Now,” Adan demands.
“I beg your pardon, young man. Just because you’re wearing that silly leather jacket doesn’t mean you can speak to her like that. You sit down and buy the woman a sandwich, it’s the very least you can do considering what she’s doing for you.”
Adan stares at Doris, and my mouth drops open just a touch. Oh, boy.
She really is scared of nothing.
And, much to my complete surprise, Adan sits down.
He does as she asks.
Well, well, the wild beast can be tamed after all.
6
“What do you mean why?” I ask, putting on a line of lipstick as I glance in the mirror.
Adan is behind me, watching me from the door, eyes narrowed. I’m wearing my sexiest dress, and when I say sexy, I mean sexy. It’s low cut, making sure my boobs are bulging out. Not only that, but it’s basically superglued to my body. I’m going on another date with Daniel, though I’m not sure he’ll appreciate the dress. It’s more for Adan’s benefit, anyway.
Afterall, he’s the one insistent on telling me I’m not attractive to him.
Blending mine and Doris’ plan, I am going to taunt him, while at the same time being flippant and not at all concerned about him, which will hopefully drive him crazy, give him a boner, and I can win this bet.
“Why the fuck are you goin’ on a date with Dr. Dick? He can’t even get a hard on.”
I fight the urge to smile. “Because Dr. Dick might just do better tonight, and god knows a girl needs it.”
“A girl needs what? A half soft cock being shoved into her?”
“So graphic, aren’t you?”
I smack my lips together and then flick my long dark hair over my shoulder, staring at myself in the mirror.
I don’t miss the way Adan’s eyes scan over my breasts, before moving up to meet my gaze in the mirror.
“If this doesn’t get him hard, I don’t know what will. Besides, you’re going to be at the club until late, I’m allowed a break, too.”
I turn and give him a huge smile. “What do you think?”
“You look like you belong on a street corner,” he mutters.
“Perfect!”
I practically skip past him, a huge grin on my face. Old Doris, she certainly knows a thing or two. Without her, this plan would have never swung into action the way it is now, she knows exactly what she’s doing. Clever old duck.
“What time are you done?” Adan asks, following me down the hall.
“I don’t know, it depends on Daniel.”
“He’s got one shot in him, if you’re lucky. So you’ll be done by 9?”
I laugh, crossing my arms as I turn toward him. “I’ll be out until midnight, don’t wait for me. I’m sure Riggs can drop you back here. I’ve changed your dressings, you’ll be okay until I get back.”
“What if I need a fuckin’ shower?”
“I’m sure Riggs has lovely gentle hands.”
He glares at me. “I’m goin’ to get laid tonight, you think I’m goin’ to go to sleep without showering?”
“Tarp up, you’ll be fine.”
His nostrils flare. “What the fuck are you gettin’ paid for then? You’re supposed to be takin’ care of me.”