“Why were you at the train station that night?”
“What do you mean?”
“That night that I met you. You were sitting at the train station, just staring into the distance. Why were you there?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
“You could, but I asked you first.”
“Fine. I was there because I like to sit there to think. I actually used to go there almost every night for a couple of months, well, at least a couple of times a week, if not every night. There’s something calming about it, you know? There’s an owl in that tree next to the benches, and sometimes, it will just sit on a branch, and I’ll look up, and I’ll stare at it for hours, and its yellow eyes will glow back at me, and I’ll think that it’s staring back, and that we’re having some sort of conversation in the wind.”
“Okay …”
I could tell he thought I was loopy. “I’m not crazy, you know? I just needed to think. I just needed to get away from my life. I just needed to be alone and feel like anything was possible.”
“You don’t like being the daughter of a senator?”
I snorted. “It’s not as glamorous as it sounds.”
“I didn’t think that it was glamorous at all. Your dad, he’s well known. He’s well-liked. It’s very likely that if he gets the nomination, he will become the next president.”
“Yeah. Go figure.” I rolled my eyes. “I guess you can believe anything you want to believe about people these days.”
“You don’t think he’d make a good president?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really care. I don’t think he’s a good man, but are there any good men?”
“When did your last relationship end?” he asked suddenly.
“A while ago.”
“Is that part of the reason you were down at the station?”
“Yeah, I guess. I thought I was in love with someone, and he ended up breaking my heart. You know how it goes. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy. Girl plans wedding. Girl plans kids. Girl plans happily ever after. Boy turns out to be engaged to someone else. Boy tells her that he never really loved her. Boy was using her the whole time. Ladidadida.”
I smiled at him even though I didn’t think the story was funny, but I was trying to make it lighter.
“So he broke your heart?”
“You could say that. He was an asshole.”
“What was his name?”
“Why do you care?”
“I’m just curious, Rosie.”
“His name was Joey. He was a good old farm boy from Iowa and he had a fiancée back home, all right? I never would have thought a corn farmer from Iowa would break my heart.”
“Why wouldn’t you have believed that? Do you think good old boys from Iowa can’t break people’s hearts? Is it only men from California and New York that can do that?”
“Well, when you put it like that, obviously not. I just thought, you know, Midwest values and all that good stuff.”
“Your dad’s not the only one that puts on a good façade, Rosie. Lots of people do. Lots of families do. It’s just the way it is. That’s the way the world is. You can look at someone and never really know who they are, what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling. That’s just the way life is. You might think someone’s your best friend, and they’re actually your enemy. And you might think someone is your enemy, and they’re actually your best friend.”
“Oh, look at you with your words of wisdom.” I sipped on my Guinness. “Who knew you were so thoughtful and—”
He cut me off. “You don’t have to try and make a joke of everything every time you feel insecure and unsure of yourself. It’s okay to feel that way.”
“I don’t need you telling me what’s okay and what’s not okay. I—”
“You’re so defensive, Rosie. You know, ever since that first night, I’ve wondered how come a girl like you would go back to a hotel room with a guy like me.”
“What do you mean, a girl like me?”
“I mean a beautiful, vulnerable, sexy girl like you. I just didn’t understand why, but now I guess I kind of do.”
“What do you mean, you kind of do? Why do you think I did?”
“Because you’re fighting your demons, and you’re exploring your wildest fantasies.” He grinned. “And I guess I happen to be one of your wildest fantasies.”
“You really think a lot of yourself, don’t you?”
“No, but I do think a lot of my cock.” He chuckled, and I rolled my eyes.
“Really?”
“Yeah. I bet if I were to touch your panties right now, they’d be wet.”
“Maybe, maybe not. You’re never going to find out.”
“Is that a test? Are you daring me?”
“I’m not daring you.”
“It sounded like a dare to me.” He put his hand on my thigh and slid it up.
“Jackson, you can’t do that.”
“Oh, yeah? You want to bet?”
“Jackson!”
He stopped, removed his hand, and ran it through his hair. His eyes darkened, and he sighed. “We’ve really got ourselves into a pickle here, haven’t we?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, neither one of us expected that this would be so complicated.”
“Well, it’s not really complicated for you. I mean, you could walk away. Shit. You could even get a hundred grand to walk away. You’ve got nothing to lose.”
“I kind of do, though.”
“What do you mean, you kind of do?”
“Well … I’ve got you to lose,” he said softly.
My jaw dropped. “What does that mean?”
“What do you think it means, Rosie?”
His eyes bore into mine, and I stared back at him, not knowing what to say. Even though I had just drunk some Guinness, my mouth felt dry. I licked my lips nervously as my heart beat fast and erratically. I stared into his dark brown eyes and I just didn’t know what he was saying, what he was thinking, what he was feeling. Did he care about me in some twisted kind of way? Had sexual intimacy somehow connected us on another level? Was that even possible?
I knew I was falling for him in a way I didn’t understand, but could he be falling for me as well?
“I know why you came here tonight, Rosie,” he said softly as he leaned forward.
“Oh?” I mouthed and leaned closer to him. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted us to leave, go back to the hotel, and fuck all night long. I didn’t care if my parents found out that I’d stayed out. Right now, I didn’t care about anything.
“You came to see Patrick, didn’t you?”
My heart almost stopped and I pulled back quickly. “You know Patrick?”
“I know Patrick.”
“How?”
“Anyone that comes to this bar knows him.” He shook his head, and he sighed. “I’m pretty sure you saw what I saw.”
“Wait—you saw what I saw?”
“We just saw him leaving with some guy, right?”