CHAPTER 1
“So what are you going to do?” Nicki asks.
We’re at her house, obviously. I can’t have an open conversation at my house since Michelle is still sucking the life out of it.
Our flight got in a few hours before the team’s did. They take the bus as a team back to the practice facility, and then they all drive home their separate ways from there. Josh and Luke carpooled, so at least I don’t have to worry about how Luke’s going to drive home with a dislocated knee.
They should be back home in an hour or so, and I’m starting to get nervous. I don’t know what state my husband will be in when he gets here, and I don’t know exactly what my place should be.
“Just be there for him as best I can,” I say. I keep wondering if I should tell Nicki about what I suspect is happening with my body. I don’t have proof. It was less than eighteen hours ago that I first realized I’m late, and I’m too scared to work up the nerve to actually buy a pregnancy test.
I’ve never done it before. Though, to be fair, I’ve always double bagged it, so to speak. I’ve always been on the pill and made the guy wear a condom. With Luke, though, things were different. I thought I was fine since I was on the pill.
And now look where I’m at. This is why I double bag.
“I need Michelle out of my house,” I say. I lean my head all the way back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling. “That’s for damn sure.”
“But the timing isn’t great,” she points out. “He needs to play nice with her now more than ever. He needs to stay on Calvin’s good side because injuries are tough. Owners don’t want to keep guys around if they aren’t healthy.”
I nod. “I get that. Luke isn’t ready to be done. But between this injury and what’s going on with Michelle, I just don’t see how Cal’s gonna say that they need to keep him.”
She presses her lips together. “Yeah, it’s not super likely. Would he play somewhere else?”
I shake my head. “He’s been here his entire career. He’s not interested in playing somewhere else.”
“Even if it means he gets to keep playing?”
I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know.” More proof that I don’t know him as well as a wife should know her husband.
A beat of quiet passes between us, and then Nicki says, “I have to tell you something.”
My brows dip and I turn toward her. “What’s up?”
She draws in a deep breath. “I wanted to tell you all weekend and Josh told me to wait and then Luke got hurt and I don’t want to wait anymore.”
A sense of alarm flitters through me. I don’t know how much more I can handle.
“I’m pregnant,” she blurts.
My eyes widen as the alarm turns into something else. My brain takes a half-second to put together that this is good news, not more bad news.
“Oh my God!” I shriek. “I’m going to be an auntie?”
Her eyes shine as she nods. “It’s a honeymoon baby!”
I lean over to toss my arms around Nicki. Guilt presses on me as I hold onto my little secret suspicion.
“How have you been feeling?” I ask, more than a little curious as to what I might be in for.
She shrugs. “Pretty good for the most part. Tired and nauseous all the time.”
“When are you due?”
“February twentieth.”
I count backwards in my head. “So you’re already three months along?”
She nods.
“When do you find out if it’s a boy or a girl?” I ask.
“We’re not. We want it to be a surprise.”
“Are you hoping for one over the other?” I narrow my eyes and study her to see what she says.
She shakes her head. “As long as he or she is healthy, that’s all I care about.”
We’re quiet a beat, and then I say, “I’m so happy for you guys. How many kids do you want?”
She laughs. “We’ll start with one.”
I need to take a test. Stat. I need to know if she and I are going through this together, if cousins will be born a few months apart. I need to know if Luke’s going to father one child in December and another potentially in March or April. If I am knocked up, I have no idea when it might’ve happened. I don’t remember missing any pills, but I know the pill isn’t one hundred percent effective.
“What about you?” she asks. “How many kids are in your future?”
My eyes dart to the window almost involuntarily as I try to mask the fact that there might be one on the way. I’m not ready to just blurt that out before I even know if it’s true. “God, I have no idea. One or two. Maybe three. Luke and I haven’t really put a number on it.”
“Aw, look at you! Luke and I. You want kids with him.”
I lift a shoulder, glad I dodged the bullet of having to explain my current situation. “Well, yeah. I love him. I see him in my future. I don’t see Michelle there, but we’ll handle it if we find out it’s his.”
“How do you feel about it?” she asks.
“I can’t fault him for anything he did before he and I met. And even after that. We didn’t make any sort of real commitment to each other until after we got married.”
Nicki giggles. “It’s so weird to hear you say that.”
I laugh, too. She’s right.
“All right,” I finally say. I stand. “I should head home. Debbie will be there cooking so at least I’ll have a buffer between Michelle and me.”
“You need me to come kick her ass?” she asks.
“I love you for asking, but no. You take care of that bun in the oven.” I wink, bid her another congratulations, and then I head home.
I find Debbie stirring something at the stove. “That smells wonderful,” I say.
“Beef merlot,” she says, holding up a bottle of wine. “An old family recipe. You want a glass? I have some extra.”
I pause. Oh shit. What if I am pregnant? I’ve been drinking lately. I never thought I might be. I feel fine—everything is totally normal.
I need to go get a test.
I make a face. “Thanks for the offer, but room temperature wine has never been my thing.”
She laughs as she moves around the kitchen, and I glance at the clock. The boys will still be a little while, and there’s a drugstore right up the road. “I need to run a quick errand. You’ll be here a little while yet, right?”
She nods.
Can I even eat something that has wine in it? I have no idea. I know nothing about being pregnant or babies or children in general.
Although I am living with a pregnant lady, and there’s another one across the street. If I need to know something, I’m sure one of the two could answer any questions I have.
Except one, I have no idea if I even am pregnant, and two, I’m not ready to tell anyone if I am. Least of all Michelle. Everything I know about pregnancy I’ve learned from her, and that hardly seems like the winning source of information.
I hop in the car and head toward the drugstore. I stand in the aisle with the tests for a few beats. I have no idea what I’m looking for. I even wonder if I should’ve worn some sort of disguise or at least a hat. What if someone sees me picking up a test?