I clear my throat and nod. “I think you’re right, Tom.”
He presses his mouth into a thin line, then sets the folder down on the table at my side. "You can look over everything and sign when you’re ready. It’s a straightforward agreement. Things get a little more simple when you don’t have any children that are minors. If there is something in there that you don’t agree with, just let me know and we can work it out.”
“Okay,” I agree, looking over at the pool instead of at him.
He stands and walks back into the house, leaving me alone. A part of me feels sad, broken, and lost. I mean, what am I going to do with myself? But another part of me feels excited, like my future is now wide open. It’s almost like I’m eighteen again, getting to plan out my life the way I want it instead of dealing with what’s being offered. I don’t know where I’ll end up, but something tells me that everything will be fine.
There will be an adjustment period, I’m sure. I’ll have to learn how to live life all over again. I will no longer have to make sure that dinner is on the table, that Erin wakes up on time, or double-check her homework. There will be no long talks with Tom in the evenings, although we haven’t had those in quite a while. Everything will be all about me now, and that thought frightens me a little. For so long, I’ve ignored my own life and focused on being the best wife and mother I could be. I wanted to honor my mother that way. But my life is very different from how hers was. We’re different people, living in different times. I wonder if the life I’ve lived would make her proud of me, or if the life I’m about to have would make her look down at me?
Surely, she’s proud of me, wherever she is. I’ve put my own wants and needs aside for too long. I took care of her when she needed me, and I’ve stepped up and taken care of my family as long as they’ve needed me. Now, it’s my time.
Four
Logan
This house is so old that I can’t get any power to the place until all the electrical has been updated, inspected, and approved, so I lock up the house to go to the market and hardware store for supplies. Luckily, everything in this town is within walking distance and anything heavy I can have delivered. I go by the hardware store first and put in my order for a new breaker box, wire to rewire the house, and a few tools that I’ll need to do the job. They promise to deliver within the hour, and I’ll be able to start work today. If I keep my head in the game, I’ll probably be able to have the power turned on in a day or two.
I go by the market next and stock up on cleaning supplies, water, and some food to keep me going. With my arms loaded down with bags, I make the journey back to the house. The ice that I got is nearly melted by the time I make it back, but I grab Dad’s old fishing cooler off the top of the fridge and load it down with the food and water before pouring the ice on top. My order from the hardware store gets delivered, and I’m able to immediately start on rewiring the house. I change out the breaker box first and make a call to have it inspected. I check over the wires that I can see, but they look to be in good shape, so I set the wire aside and wait to see if changing out the old fuse box will be good enough to get everything turned back on.
With the sun going down and no place to sleep in the house, I head out to the backyard and set up my tent that I brought with me. I build a fire and get to fixing me some dinner from the food in the cooler. I eat three hot dogs, some beans, and a bag of chips for dinner before crawling into my tent and crashing for the night.
I wake in the morning with my back hurting and cracking as I climb out into the early morning sun. The fire has died down overnight, so I have a power bar and a bottle of water for breakfast before getting back to work on the house. This is going to be a long process, but I’m the only one who can do it. I’m going to fix this place up and put it on the market faster than you can say sold. While I wait for the inspector to arrive, I go to the water department and have the water turned back on. By the time I get back to the house, the water is ready to go. I turn on the kitchen sink and air sputters out of the line, spraying bits of dirty water the longer I let it run. Eventually, the water starts to pour out, becoming clearer the longer I leave it running. With running water, I’m able to get to work. I start by stripping out the old carpet in the living room and throwing it all into a burn pile in the backyard, along with Dad’s chair. I rip the rug out of the hallway and off the stairs as well. With the old carpeting out, I turn my attention to the old paneled walls. I’m lost to my work when the inspector arrives, but he approves my work and promises to have the power on by morning.
I finish painting the living room walls and ceiling and decide that’s enough for today. I’m going to shower, go for a cold beer, and order the things I’ll need online from my phone.
Gentry’s bar is just down the road, so I make the walk and have a seat in the darkened corner. The waitress takes my order and leaves to go retrieve it while I pull out my phone and shop around online. I order enough laminate flooring to cover the living room and hallway. I haven’t even ventured upstairs yet to check it out, and I don’t plan on doing much to the kitchen other than cleaning it up. The floor in the kitchen is still in pretty good shape, and the cabinets need some new hardware, but other than that, they look good too. The small downstairs bathroom has seen better days, but the basics are there and they work. I only plan on replacing the floor and painting the walls to freshen it up.
My beer gets placed in front of me, and I drink it a little too quickly but order another as I’m enjoying the AC. After a few beers, I get up to use the restroom, and when I come out, I go right to the bar for one last beer. It’s pushing nine o’clock now, and I have another long day ahead of me tomorrow. I need as much sleep as I can get.
In the morning, I wake up and crawl out of the tent. The first thing that I see is what used to be Mom’s rose garden. Dad built it up so it’s elevated off the ground by bricks. I walk over to it and start pulling out all the fallen leaves and sticks. There isn’t anything growing in here anymore, and I hate that. Mom loved these rose bushes. If there is anything in this house that I want to keep, it’s this flower garden.
I can’t do much around the house other than paint until my flooring comes in, so after breakfast and a shower, I head out to go to the flower store to buy some rose bushes. Luckily, the place is run by someone other than El now, otherwise I’d never even consider it. I walk into the store, and the woman I saw before is back behind the counter. The bell above the door rings when it opens, and she looks up at me. “Hey, can I help you with anything?”
“Yes, I’m looking to buy some rose bushes to plant.”
“Okay, follow me,” she says, stepping out from behind the counter as she leads me to the back door and outside to the closed in patio. “This is our selection of outdoor plants. Here are all the roses bushes we have, and other greenery and flowers are all over there. Let me know if you need anything else,” she says before walking away.
“Thanks,” I mumble but have no idea if she heard me or not. I’m blown away by how everything is still the exact same. I used to help El’s mom unload the trucks back when I was in high school, and this is exactly how she had everything set up. But I guess if you buy an already running and operating store, there isn’t much point in changing things around.