I pull the car into the drive and let myself into the house. I go straight to my bedroom to get changed. I push the door open and find Tom standing in front of the dresser, adjusting his tie.
“Oh, you scared me,” I say as my heart pounds too hard for the second time today. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”
He scoffs. “Of course I’m coming. This is my daughter’s graduation day.”
“Well, you never returned any of my calls…” I set my purse down on the bed and move to the closet to get my dress. “How’s work?”
“Work is work,” he replies, always short and to the point. “I’m ready to go. I’ll be downstairs.” He walks out, leaving me alone in the bedroom.
Nice to see you too. Thanks for the warm greeting. It’s not like we haven’t seen one another in months.
I quickly change into a nice cream-colored dress and slip on my heels. I move to the dresser to put in my earrings and notice that he left his phone on the dresser. I’ll take it down to him when I go. I put in my earrings and reach for my perfume on the corner when his phone chimes. I glance down at the screen to see the message.
Lilly: Hope you have a good trip. I’ll miss you. Hurry back, my love.
My eyes nearly bug out of my skull when I see it, although I can’t say that I’m really surprised. We haven’t been a real married couple in a long time. I’ve had my suspicions that he’s been having an affair for months now, but there was no way to find out for sure. And honestly, I’m not even sure if I care. We’ve been trapped in this loveless marriage for years now. Mentally, I prepare myself for what’s to come, but right now, it’s time to focus on Erin and her big day.
I grab the phone and head downstairs, finding him in his office. I walk in and set the phone down. The screen lights up when I do, and he sees it. He knows that I know. He looks at me and I look at him, but nothing is said as I turn and walk out.
I go into the kitchen and put the roses into a vase, arranging them and tying a bow around the glass. I pull the card out of my purse and place it in the front. Moments later, Tom joins me.
“Are you ready to go?”
“I am.” I pick up my purse and head to the door.
The drive to the school isn’t normally long, but with the silence filling the car, it feels like we’ve driven miles already and we’ve barely made it out of the driveway. He doesn’t mention the message on his phone and neither do I. I just wait. I know this marriage of ours is stacked on a pile of lies that’s bound to come tumbling down at any minute. All I can do is prepare myself to salvage anything that’s left.
We make it to the school, and we climb out of the car. The graduating seniors are all standing in front of the gym, snapping pictures with their friends, talking, and celebrating their graduation. We find Erin and we walk over.
“Daddy!” she squeals when she sees us. She comes running over, wrapping her arms around her dad who she hasn’t seen in months. “I’m so happy you made it,” she says, pulling away.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world, baby girl.” He pulls an envelope out of his breast pocket and hands it over. “Just something that says how proud of you I am.”
She opens it up, and her eyes stretch wide as her mouth drops open. “Oh my God, Dad! Seriously?”
He nods, smile in place.
“Mom! Look at this,” she says, coming closer to show me what it is she’s holding. It’s a picture of an Audi, almost like the one he bought me, but this one is brand new and a pretty silver color.
“We’ll go pick it up in the morning before I leave,” he promises her.
“Thank you, Daddy!” she says, pulling him back in for another hug. She tucks the picture away in the envelope and hands it over to me. “Mom, can you put this in your purse? I don’t want to hold it for the whole ceremony.”
I take the envelope and put it in my purse.
“I’ll catch up with you guys after. Go find your seats.” She gives us both one more quick hug before running off to be with her friends.
The ceremony is pretty traditional. After everything wraps up, we meet with Erin outside for our family photos. “Feel like going to your favorite Italian restaurant to celebrate?” I ask her.
“Actually, I was hoping to go to a party with a couple of friends. Is that okay? I’ll be home by midnight,” she says, hopeful.
“Well, your dad is leaving in the morning, honey. Don’t you want to spend time with him?”
“It’s fine, El. Let the girl be a kid a little while longer. We’ll just wake up early and go to breakfast before picking up the car. How’s that sound?”
She smiles wide. “Thank you, Daddy.” She hugs him and pulls away. “Love you both,” she says, rushing off.
“Be careful,” I shout after her, knowing my concern has fallen on deaf ears.
Tom and I turn and make our way back to his car where I suffer another silent ride home. The moment we make it to the house, he goes straight into his office and I go to the bedroom to change into something a little more comfortable. I pull on a pair of black yoga pants and a loose-fitting T-shirt. I slide my feet into a pair of flip-flops and go back downstairs. I poke my head into his office.
“Want me to order us anything for dinner?”
“I’m fine. I have a lot of things to go over before I leave in the morning,” he says, not bothering to look up from whatever he’s working on. It’s in this moment I can see how much he’s really changed over the years, how his raven-colored hair now has streaks of gray around his temples and his once firm body has gotten soft and more rounded.
I leave his office, thinking about all the things that have changed that can’t be seen. He used to want to spend time with me. Now, I couldn’t pay him to. He used to love me. Now, I’m not even sure if he knows who I am. Hell, I don’t know if I know who I am.
I pour a glass of wine and fix myself a snack to take out to the patio. I cut some cheese into cubes, add some hard salami, and a little fruit. I take my tray of food and my glass of wine out to the patio. I take a sip of my wine and pop a grape into my mouth as I think about all the changes we’ve been through over the years and all the change to come.
In a way, I’ve somehow managed to lose the woman I once was. No longer am I driven to escape this town and find a life I’ll love. Now, I’m stuck, living the life I managed to scrape together after Logan left me with nothing but broken promises.
Tom walks out the door with a file folder in his hands. “Ahh, there you are,” he says, sitting down in the empty chair next to me.
“El, what I have to say isn’t easy,” he starts. “So, I’m just going to come out with it.”
I brace myself for the words we’re both desperate to say.
“I want a divorce,” he says, and it feels like the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. “We haven’t really been together in years and I think, now that Erin is going off to college, it would be a good time for a fresh start for all of us. Don’t you think?”
I look over at him but am partially frozen. I don’t know what to say. I’m not surprised or angry in the least. I knew this was coming, but having the words out there now, it makes it all so real. Before it was just a thought that my future was going to change. Now, it’s going to happen. It’s no longer an idea. What will I do with myself?