“It’s just hard,” she said, turning her head to meet his gaze. “Being married to someone you hardly know.”
“At least you and I are attracted to each other.” His finger traced an imaginary line up her arm. “That’s a good start.”
She shivered beneath his touch. “Yes, but is it enough?”
“It’s enough for now.” David dropped the brush to the floor and pulled her onto his lap. She smelled like springtime. He nuzzled her neck, trailing kisses all the way up to her jawline before finding her mouth.
And then something inexplicable happened. As he felt those soft lips move beneath his own, his heart swelled with an emotion he’d thought he’d never feel again. And David realized with fearful clarity that he’d have to be very careful. Because he couldn’t afford to make the same mistake he’d made ten years ago. He couldn’t lose his heart again to the one woman who had the power to break it.
Chapter Four
Christy leaned her head back against the seat and stared out the window of the 737. She wondered if she should have tried to call her parents from Las Vegas rather than waiting to tell them in person when they returned to St. Louis from their “around the world” anniversary cruise. But was there really a good way to tell her father that she’d married David Warner?
Though David had always been polite and respectful to her father, her dad had never liked him. When David had broken up with her, her father had tried to act sympathetic, but she could tell he was pleased. And he’d told her that in time she’d realize it was for the best. Over time, she’d convinced herself that he was right.
If they had stayed together, she would never have left St. Louis. The education she’d received at Princeton had been top-notch and the contacts she’d made there had been instrumental in furthering her career. For the past five years she’d been doing a job she loved. How could it get much better than that?
You could have a husband who loved you and a couple of kids who thought you were the best mommy in the whole world, she thought.
Children? Christy had to chuckle. Last week marriage had been a distant dream and now she was thinking of children? Though she hoped a baby or two would be in her future, for now she had to focus all her energies on her husband and making that relationship work before she could even think about bringing a baby into the picture.
Christy made a mental note to call her gynecologist about some birth control pills. Her cycles had always been irregular and the doctor had been encouraging her to go on the pill for years for her endometriosis, but she’d resisted. She wondered if she could start now, even though she hadn’t had a period for a while. Though skipping a couple months wasn’t unusual for her, she hoped the doctor wouldn’t make her come in to see him before he’d prescribe anything.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Though the plane was still boarding, the flight attendant leaned over the seat with a questioning smile.
“A glass of water, please?”
“Certainly.”
The flight attendant returned before Christy had a chance to reach into her bag for the tiny pill that she took every morning to regulate her thyroid. She smiled her thanks and took the glass, waving aside the bag of pretzels.
After taking the pill, Christy glanced around the plane. First class was half empty, and she crossed her fingers that no one had been assigned the seat next to her. She had too much to think about on her flight back to Chicago to deal with a stranger.
She’d been married three days. If this were a normal marriage she’d be on her honeymoon, relaxing next to her husband on a beach in the Caribbean. Instead, she was alone on a jumbo jet headed home.
But it wouldn’t be her home much longer.
There would be no more jazz concerts in the park or morning runs along the lake. No more saying hello to the guy with the spiked hair at the coffee shop or giving the homeless woman on the street corner an extra dollar or two.
Her heart clenched and she wiped a tear away with the back of her hand.
Is this what I really want to do?
The question had tormented her ever since she’d realized that marrying David hadn’t been a dream. She’d tried to be strong and do the right thing. But dear God, she’d be giving up so much.
Not only life in Chicago, a city she’d grown to love, but her dreams of one day marrying a man who loved her with his whole heart. Of carving a future with someone who wanted the same things out of life. Of just being happy.
It didn’t seem that much to ask. Perhaps she should have given more thought to David’s offer of a quick divorce. At the time she hadn’t even considered it. Only now as the shock wore off and reality set in did Christy have to wonder if she’d been too quick to cast that option aside.
Her fans would understand that she’d made a mistake. She’d never pretended to be a saint. She was a sinner and like everyone else she didn’t always make the best choices.
It’s not too late to call it off.
The tiny voice in the back of her head had grown stronger with each passing hour. Right before she’d gotten on the plane she’d been tempted to tell David she’d changed her mind about staying married.
He’d looked so unhappy when they’d said goodbye. And that made her burden doubly heavy. He’d had his hopes and dreams, too. And wasn’t it wrong to stay together so he could keep control of his company and she could minimize the damage to her career?
Christy heaved a resigned sigh. When she got to Chicago, she’d have her attorney draw up the papers. If they rushed it through, David might still be able to marry Lauren before his grandfather’s deadline.
But she’s not right for him.
The unexpected jealousy took her by surprise. Despite some past problems, Christy knew that Lauren was a good person. And David was a wonderful guy. They’d probably make each other very happy.
Christy stared down at her hands. A single tear slipped down her cheek.
“Can I get you a blanket or a pillow?”
Christy hurriedly dug a tissue out of her pocket and wiped her eyes.
She’d thought the flight attendant had been directing the question to her until a high wavery voice answered, “No, thank you, honey. I’ll be just fine.”
Christy turned to find an elderly woman with snow-white hair and silver-framed spectacles sitting in the seat beside her. The pale blue eyes behind the lenses sparkled with curiosity. “Hello. I’m Agnes Moore.”
“I’m Christy Fair—eh, Warner.”
“It’s nice to meet you.” Agnes smiled and patted the caramel-colored leather. “Isn’t this a beautiful plane?”
Christy nodded politely and stifled a groan. Flying over a hundred thousand miles during the past year had made her an expert at spotting a “talker.”
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got this horrific headache.” Christy laid her head against the back of the seat and closed her eyes.
It was a risky tactic, and after she’d said it, Christy realized she didn’t know why she’d tried it again when it had failed so miserably the last time. On a flight back from Atlanta she’d barely mentioned the word and the middle-aged guy next to her had lit up like a Christmas tree. He’d spent the entire flight detailing his many bouts with “cluster” headaches.