He sighed. “Thanks for getting rid of the lawyer. She called me crying, and I couldn’t get there in time to do anything about it.”
I could lie and tell him that it was a pain in the ass. Or I could tell him I didn’t mind. I could say a hundred different things, but I wouldn’t. There was something in the way she’d looked at me at Lucy’s, staring straight through the carefully constructed wall designed specifically to keep her out, into my soul and all the feelings hidden away, something frightening. And if I said a word about it, I’d have to face the reality that I couldn’t stay away from her.
“You know why I did it.” Brutal honesty, and from the sharp intake of breath on Remy’s side of the call, he wasn’t prepared for it either.
I loved Kennedy. I’d always loved her.
Remy knew it, and I’d never denied it to him even though it might mean that I lost my best friend. But there was too much there; I’d lost too much to ever give her anything. I wasn’t enough, and I would never be enough.
That didn’t stop Remy from trying to put us together every single chance he got. At first, that’s what I thought his call had been earlier. Just another excuse to push me together with the sister that I refused to ruin. But I’d still gone. I’d always go. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do for Kennedy. If she wanted me to cut my heart out of my chest and hand it to her, I’d do it. Without hesitation or regret. That’s how important she’d always be to me. It’s why I’d never been able to move on from her. Why I never bothered trying.
“Did you threaten Royal?” Remy sounded almost amused at the prospect.
A shadow moved behind Kennedy’s bedroom window, and I glanced down at the clock embedded in my dashboard to see that it was close to three in the morning. She worked from four a.m. to four p.m. as a dispatcher, and I hadn’t needed to stalk her to find that out. Kennedy worked at Birch County Sheriff’s Office, one of BPD’s sister agencies, so we worked together frequently. Or we would, if I didn’t manipulate the shit out of my schedule so that I didn’t have to work with her.
“Yeah,” Remy went on like I’d answered him. “He tried to file a complaint against her, but Chief came out and Royal ran in the other direction.” I snorted, but Remy ignored it. “Seems lawyer boy didn’t like the idea of complaining to Dad.” He chuckled in my ear. “You shoulda seen it. I thought for sure he was about to shit himself right there in the lobby of the police station.”
Royal Prince had been a spoiled little shit his entire life, and there was no doubt in my mind that he honestly thought he’d get away with treating the Chief of Police’s daughter like she was his property. Unfortunately for him, and for anyone who dared hurt Kennedy, Chief Townsend was protective as fuck. A fact that he took pleasure in reminding me of on an almost daily basis.
Kennedy’s front door opened, and she stepped out into the dim light of her porch, effectively stealing my breath away like she always did, even with her red hair in a sloppy braid that hung over her shoulder and dark circles under her eyes that I could see from my car.
“How is she?” As soon as the question left my lips, I regretted uttering it. I never asked about her. I never brought her up in conversation, even if I made it my life’s mission to make sure that Kennedy was taken care of.
Remy sighed, his demeanor changing completely. I could see him just as clearly as if he sat next to me in the truck. His brow furrowed and his lips pinched together while he tried to figure out what to say to me without betraying his little sister.
“She’s tired,” he finally answered. “She won’t talk about what happened with him, or what he did to her, but she’s like she was… before.” Remy coughed, clearing his throat. “The only time I see her come out of that shell is when she’s around Parker and Nox… and sometimes you.”
While he talked, Kennedy got into her car and left, effectively putting an end to the need for me to be there. I waited for her taillights to vanish completely, then put my truck in gear to head home.
“I really wish you’d pull your head out of your ass already and end both of your miseries.” Remy kept talking. “I love my sister, Linc. Just like I love you like a brother. I don’t like seeing either one of you like this.”
“She’s been over me for years.” I don’t know who the fuck I was trying to convince more, him or me. “She was going to get married, Remy.” Admitting that hurt so much more than it should have. “She’ll be fine.”
I hung up without waiting for him to say anything else, because there wasn’t anything to say. Kennedy deserved to be happy. She deserved to have a life that I couldn’t give her. I’d condemned myself to a life sitting outside her window the day I walked away. The day Danny died. It didn’t matter that I bought a ring I’d never be able to give her. Nothing mattered except the possibility that she’d be able to have a family. One filled with a future that I couldn’t give her.
The only light on at my house was the dim blue bulb my little sister Emma insisted on putting up to show support of law enforcement. No matter how much I tried to convince her it was stupid, she still did it anyway, and I left it because I loved her.
I just wouldn’t ever tell her that. I couldn’t. Not when telling her would bring our past back with a force I couldn’t face.
Silence wrapped around me like an old friend once I stepped into the empty house that I should call home. My boots went into their place, and I hung the keys on the rack where they belonged as well, making sure that nothing was out of order.
The door to my bedroom sat open, and for a minute I thought about trying to sleep. But the familiar scent of ash and dirt already started to fill my mind, and I knew sleep wouldn’t be coming anytime soon.
Instead, I made it to the couch before the onslaught of memories pushed their way into my bones, and gunpowder filled my mouth as I was taken back to the worst day of my life.
Fire rained down in the blistering heat, and I started running through the desert before the first piece of metal debris hit the dirt just up ahead.
“Danny!”
I had to be dying. My heart fucking hurt. Shards of glass pierced through my lungs, making it impossible to breathe as I pushed myself harder than should be possible. Even weighed down with gear, the heat, and the distance between us, I made it to the downed chopper in just a few seconds.
I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, couldn’t do anything but run to my brother’s side. Gunfire erupted next to my head, filling the silence left by the chopper’s dying engine.
Flames roared, vehicles approached, and none of it mattered. The war didn’t matter. Only Danny mattered.
Numb, I didn’t even feel the blood seeping from my mouth when I ruptured something in my throat while screaming for my brother.
Hands tried to grab me, but I shoved them away while I searched for Danny. I called his name, over and over again, shoving through the tattered remains of the chopper. Someone grabbed the pilot, pulling him from the wreckage, but I couldn’t find Danny.
Voices called out, screaming for me to leave the wreckage. I wasn’t going anywhere, though. Not until I found my brother.
I felt him there, in the destruction. I felt him reaching out for me, through the undeniable bond between twins. Agony, the likes of which no one could ever imagine, mixed with fear and death.