“It was stuck to where I couldn’t press it!” he shouted back.
I held up my hand. “We are not going to go over this again. I’m going to finish up your pills, and then, you are going home. I’m getting a headache and need a nap.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t be staying out all night with a biker, and you wouldn’t be needing a nap.”
And this was when Dad pissed me off. He couldn’t stand to be my dad when I actually needed him to be, so when he decided he would take it upon himself to actually act like a parent now, it really ground my gears.
I glared at him and forcefully dropped the pills in my hand in their correct slot. “Because I’m always out, right, Dad? Drinking and hanging out with friends ‘til five in the morning? Disappearing for days to leave my kids all alone?” I pursed my lips. “I think you must be confusing your younger years with me.”
“Low blow, Lynn,” he growled.
It was, and it felt great to say it. “Yeah, it sure is, Dad.” I quickly finished the rest of his pills and snapped the compartment shut. Then I gathered all the pill bottles and dropped them into the plastic grocery bag he had brought them over in. “You’re good for another week. I’ll grab your prescription on my way home from work on Tuesday.” I stood and held out the bag to him.
He grabbed the pillbox and slowly stood. “I’ve said sorry time and time again, Lynn. I can’t go back in time and change things.”
He couldn’t and neither could I. Years of resentment were pent up in me, and I had no idea how to get rid of it. “I’ll be over Tuesday night. I’ll bring lo mien and egg rolls.”
That would give me two days to bury back my anger, and things would go back to normal. In the end, I may be pissed as hell at him for being a shit dad for the first twenty years of my life, but he was still my father.
He grabbed the plastic bag. “I’ll see if Steph can make it for dinner, and I’ll get the food delivered.”
I nodded stiffly. She wouldn’t be there. He asked her to come over every Sunday, and every Sunday, she had something else to do. At this point, I would be shocked if she actually showed up. “Sounds good.”
He reached out and squeezed my shoulder. “Don’t work too hard this week, Lynn. Save some time for yourself. You can’t save everyone.”
I didn’t say anything. If I did, it would only make the fight we just had even worse. “Let me know when you get home.”
He nodded sadly. “Love you, Lynn.”
“You, too.”
He sighed and ambled toward the front door. “One day, you’re gonna say it, Lynn. I just hope I’m alive to hear it,” he shouted. The door clicked shut behind him, and I sucked in a breath.
I closed my eyes and willed the tears to remain at bay.
I loved Dad. Never stopped. Even on the days where he disappeared without a word and then popped back in as if he hadn’t abandoned his children, I loved him.
I just couldn’t make myself say it to his face.
That was how I punished him for the twelve years where he wanted to be anywhere but with Steph and me.
Maybe when he was twelve years sober, I would tell him I loved him. Tit for tat, right?
I opened my eyes, and the tears rained down my cheeks.
That was the thing I hated about love.
You couldn’t turn it off. No matter how much someone hurt you and you knew you shouldn’t love them, you couldn’t stop.
“He’s changed, Lynn,” I whispered to the empty kitchen. I wiped my tears from my cheeks and sniffled. “But would it stay that way?” I replied.
I turned off the kitchen light, leaving the remnants of breakfast with Zephyr and Dad on the kitchen table to clean up later.
Sleep was the only thing I wanted right now.
If I was sleeping, I didn’t have to worry about Dad or Steph. I didn’t have to try to fix the problems between the three of us. And I also didn’t have to try to dissect every second of last night with Zephyr.
I didn’t have to think about anything, and that was what I wanted.
I shuffled to my bedroom and flopped down on the bed.
When I woke up, I could worry about all of those things.
God, I hope we sleep for a year.
“Me, too,” I whispered to the dark.
Me, too.
*
Chapter Four
Creaming the twinkie…
Zephyr
“You fucking awake?”
I looked up from the ground. “Yeah.”
“Well, you wanna look a little fucking lively here?” Dyno grumbled. “We need to measure the front parlor and see if we’ll need to knock down a wall for the coat check and security room.
“Let’s go.” I climbed the steps of the funeral home and turned at the top. “You coming? I don’t know shit about any of this.”
He gave me shit about not being awake, and now he was still standing next to our bikes.
Dyno shook his head. “You fuckers. None of you guys know anything and expect me to tell you how to do everything. Might as well do all of the shit myself.”
“Have we even officially bought the place?” I asked. “Seems like we should make sure the deal is good and done before we start making plans to rip down walls.”
Dyno climbed the steps and put his hand on my shoulder. “Quinn is signing the papers as we speak, brother. Nice try getting out of this, though.” He pulled a set of keys from his pocket and jingled them. “You and I are going to start ripping down walls before the ink dries on the paperwork.”
“Don’t you have better things to do on a Monday morning? Hell, you have an ol’ lady. Maybe you should try to spend some more time with her.”
He stuck the key in the lock and opened the door. “Fancy is working.”
“Well, hell, this is your chance to stay at the clubhouse and do whatever you want. Don’t have to worry about Fancy asking you what you’re doing or asking you to fix shit.”
Dyno chuckled and motioned for me to walk in. “How about you don’t worry about Fancy and me, and you get your ass in there to do some work.”
A roar of motorcycles pulling into the parking lot of the funeral home filled the air.
I glanced at the three motorcycles and smiled. “Looks like we have some help.”
Dyno shook his head and groaned. “Fucking ridiculous.”
Core, Sledge, and Brick parked their bikes and moved to the bottom of the steps.
“You know,” Brick laughed, “I thought you guys were just pulling my leg when you said the strip club was going to be in an old funeral home.”
Core folded his arms over his chest. “I wish it was a fucking joke.”
He was the one who was completely against us remodeling the funeral home. Only, the more that he acted like he didn’t want to be there, the more Quinn and Dyno were going to make him be there. Core hadn’t picked up on that yet.
“You know anything about remodeling or building?” Dyno asked Brick.
Brick shrugged. “I know enough. I worked some odd jobs before going to prison.” Brick folded his arms over his chest. “Quinn told me you were in charge of the remodeling, though.”
Dyno nodded. “I am, but I’m going to need a hell of a lot of help.”