“Yes, miss?”
She sucks in a deep breath like a child about to throw a tantrum, then exhales again. Her voice turns hysterical. “Get them out of here! Get them all out!”
“Miss.” The doctor approaches her slowly. “You need to calm down.”
He tries to touch her, but I grab his wrist and twist it backward, making him wince in pain.
That causes Rai to scream louder. “Get out! Get out!”
“Sir.” The doctor strains, but he’s smart enough not to fight me, so I let him go. If he tries something funny, I’ll break his fucking wrist. “It’s better if you leave.”
“No.”
“If you don’t, she might have a panic attack.”
“Fuck that. She’s my wife and I’m not leaving her side.”
“Sir, it’s not in her best interest for you to keep staying here.”
“Out…out…” Her shaking has worsened and her lips are too pale. She’s not the type who has these strong visceral reactions, and yet she appears on the verge of a breakdown. I can’t be the reason behind that.
Even though there’s nothing I want to do more than hold on to her, I need to let her go. Just for a while.
It takes all my power to release her, stand up, and step back.
She continues watching me even when I’m far away from her bed, and I motion at Ruslan and Katia to leave with me.
“Ruslan…” she calls. “S-stay.”
“Yes, miss.”
Why the fuck is she calling for him but not me? Even Katia appears taken aback, but she steps outside with me.
The doctor and the nurse remain beside Rai, talking to her in soothing tones. Judging from the slowing rise and fall of her chest, that seems to have managed to somewhat calm her down.
I keep watching from the doorway, unable to look away. She appears so soft, fragile, and all I want to do is to hold her hand and protect her.
The nurse keeps talking to her while the doctor steps outside. I grab him by the collar and slam him against the wall. “What the fuck is wrong with her?”
“Sir, if you don’t release me, I can’t speak.”
I push him away with a shove. “Talk.”
He massages the back of his neck and fixes his collar. “Mrs. Sokolov seems to be suffering from selective amnesia.”
“Because she fell?”
“Yes, we believe the fall has caused some swelling in her brain and that’s why she has amnesia.”
“You said selective—does that mean she’ll regain her memories soon?”
“No, selective means she lost part of her memories.”
“What part?”
“From the initial questions we asked, she seems to have forgotten everything that happened for the past ten years.”
“What?”
“Mrs. Sokolov believes she’s eighteen years old. As a result, she doesn’t remember the events that happened in the past ten years. That applies to people she met in that period, too.”
I didn’t know her ten years ago. No wonder she thought I was a stranger.
“How can she get her memories back?”
“Unfortunately, there’s no cure for amnesia. Fortunately, it’s not completely irrevocable. If she’s surrounded by supportive family and friends, she might be able to recall things.” I don’t miss the way he stressed the part about being supportive. This fucker is exactly two seconds away from being throttled to death.
“How long will it take for her to remember?”
“There’s no definite answer to that. It can be a few days or a few decades. Most likely, she will never recoup those lost memories.”
Fuck!
“One more thing,” he says.
“What?”
“She needs patience and care during this period so she can get back to the outside world. Everything has changed for her, and ten years is a significant gap for a woman her age.”
I nod sharply. “But is she physically okay?”
“Aside from the neck sprain that should heal in a few days, she has no serious injuries.”
At least she’s safe. I’ll find a way to deal with her brain.
Ignoring the doctor, I step past him toward Rai’s room.
“Sir?”
“What?” I stop but don’t turn around.
“It would be better if you didn’t go inside. She had a strong reaction toward you, and if she has a panic attack while she is very confused, it might lead to serious health complications. Please limit your contact with her—for now, at least.”
My fists clench on either side of me, but I don’t step inside. The doctor leaves after I flop down in a chair in front of her room.
There’s no way in hell I will stay away from her, but at the same time, I could never put her health in danger.
I keep watching from the window. Ruslan stands beside her bed, both hands in front of him. The reason she’s not rejecting him like she did me and Katia is obviously because he’s been by her side for more than ten years.
He and Vladimir were always there, like fucking shadows.
“Katia,” I call out without ripping my gaze from Rai. “Go get her clothes and anything she’ll need for her stay in the hospital.”
She doesn’t make a move to leave.
“What are you waiting for? An invitation?”
“Do you want to go home to rest? Your injury must hurt,” she offers. “I’ll stand guard here.”
“I’m fine.” I throw up a dismissive hand. “Go home and bring the little rascal, Peter. Ask Sergei to send more guards here until her discharge, but don’t disclose anything about her condition to any of the Vory’s members. Rai wouldn’t want them to witness her in this weak state.”
She nods and storms out of the hospital.
I don’t care if Rai won’t see me now. I’m not leaving this place until she does.
Ever since I saw her lying at the bottom of the stairs, the thing beating in my chest has been burning and roaring like a volcano on the brink of eruption.
And the only way to extinguish that fire is through her.
My wife.
My Rai.
We spend three days in the hospital.
Three days of CT scans, analyses, and whatever the fuck the doctors come up with. None of them seem to provide the solution to making her remember.
Whenever I go near her, she screams at me to get out. When I don’t, she starts to hyperventilate and cry.
Every time I do that—insist on being by her side while she chases me out—Ruslan and Katia glare at me as if they are ready to cut me up limb by limb. Fuck them and fuck the doctors. No one keeps me away from my wife.
She’s slowly accepting Katia as her second guard, but Ruslan is the one she looks at the most, probably since she clearly remembers him.
After waking up, she asked about her grandfather. When Ruslan told her he’s dead, she spent the entire night crying.
Even though I was sitting by the door, I could hear her sniffles and deep intakes of air that came after a long time of crying.
I listened to her all night in silence, and when she fell asleep, I quietly stepped inside and watched her sleeping form in the darkness. I wanted to hold her and wipe the tears on her cheeks, but she has become a light sleeper and would’ve started a riot if she found me touching her.