She could admit that he had a point. They hadn’t been together since their fight in front of Michael’s grave. Heather had vanished, just gone dark for a whole year before suddenly responding to Caitlin’s texts again as if nothing had happened. But she still hadn’t been back to Wildstone and wouldn’t give Caitlin much information other than that she was okay and “working on things.” Whatever that meant.
Caitlin hadn’t seen Maze either, and not for a lack of trying. But they’d texted and had a few strained calls. And to give Maze credit, she always responded when Caitlin reached out, even with her busy life that was now in Santa Barbara, two hours south of Wildstone.
But Caitlin had, however, seen Walker. Sparingly, but he’d been gone on the job nearly nonstop the past three years. She missed him.
She missed all of them and wanted them back together. And as the self-appointed bossy older sister of the fam, she was determined—and, okay, also slightly desperate—to make it happen. And yeah, maybe, maybe, she’d rushed her wedding along, knowing it was the one thing that could bring her siblings of the heart back together. She couldn’t help herself. For whatever reason, the four of them had synced and melded into a core family that long-ago year, but they were losing each other, and that scared her. She’d already lost Michael; hell if she’d lose the others too. She needed this so badly she couldn’t even explain it to Dillon. But the truth was the last time she’d felt vibrantly alive had been when they’d all been in her life, and she was just desperate enough to play with fate to make it happen. “Please stay, Dillon.”
He studied her face and sighed, his eyes lit with affection as he cupped her jaw. “I promised Mom, but I’ll get back asap. Take care of my babies?”
It was the best she was going to get, so she nodded. He brushed a nice, warm kiss across her lips, and then he was gone.
Caitlin blew out a breath and eyed his “babies.” They stared up at her with those googly eyes and she had to laugh. She’d grown up with big dogs, so she didn’t quite get the appeal of the little ones. They yipped. They had a Napoleon complex. Last week at the dog park, they’d terrorized a big dog into peeing on them.
But Dillon loved them. When the two of them had first started getting serious, they’d talked about their future. As an investment banker, he had a solid job and made a great living. He was fun and sexy. But she hadn’t fallen in love until she’d seen his “Life” list on his Notes app: wife, kids, big house, and a big pension.
And the past year had been . . . really good. They traveled, they laughed, and she’d felt so lucky. But lately there’d been missed dates. Fewer and fewer late-night talks beneath the stars. Less time spent together. She’d decided it was wedding stress, on both their parts.
Because if Dillon was pulling away, she could admit that she’d let him.
She’d kept all this bottled up because . . . well, that’s what she did, always. There were lots of corked bottles of emotion deep inside her. But this, with Dillon . . . for the first time in her life she didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t tell her parents, because they’d asked her—begged her—more than once to please think about dating Dillon longer before saying yes to a ring.
She hadn’t.
Her friends Charlene and Wendy were each very happily married and sickeningly in love, and Wendy was a coworker of Dillon’s. They loved him for her, said he was the best thing to ever happen to her. So maybe she just didn’t do sickeningly in love?
Maybe it would catch up with her.
When she’d finally finished her manic nesting, she critically eyed the cabin. She’d done everything she could to make it look homey and inviting. Exhausted, she jealously eyed Roly and Poly, now snoozing in their fancy beds, but before she could even think about taking a nap herself, she heard a car drive up.
Her stomach jangled uncomfortably as she hurried out front in time to see Heather getting out of an old, beat-up two-door Civic. She was twenty-two now and had made it clear she no longer needed a big sister, but Caitlin couldn’t help but still see the sweet, terrified, neglected nine-year-old Heather had been when she’d first come into Caitlin’s childhood home. Her hair had grown out a bit, straight and blunt to her collarbone, still black, but with pretty metallic blue streaks. At the sight of her cute, petite self, Caitlin felt her heart melt as she rushed over. “You made it!”
Heather laughed. “Did I have a choice?”
“Nope.” Caitlin pulled her in and hugged her tight.
“Wow.” Heather patted her on the back. “Okay. Hi to you too.”
Caitlin didn’t let go. She couldn’t. This was her baby sister, and Michael would’ve been Heather’s age now, still Caitlin’s shadow, she was sure of it, but also being her backup boss.
“Um . . .” Heather patted her some more. “Not sure we can do this all day, so . . .”
Nope. Caitlin still couldn’t let her go, not yet.
Heather laughingly caved, hugging Caitlin back. “Okay, okay, all day it is.”
Caitlin gave a little snort to beat back the threat of tears and reluctantly released her. “I missed you.” To hide just how much, she peered into the empty front seat of Heather’s car. “Your text said your plus-one was someone named Sam.”
“Oh. About that . . .” Heather’s smile went a bit forced, the way it always had when she’d stolen food from the pantry to secretly hoard, even though Caitlin’s parents had made it clear that everyone in their house could eat as often and as much as they needed.
Heather pressed a lever on the driver’s-side seat so that it slid forward, then reached in and pulled out a little girl from a toddler car seat. “So . . .” Heather said softly, nervously. “This is Sammie.”
Caitlin’s mouth fell open. “A baby? You had a baby?”
“I big girl!” the “baby” said proudly.
Heather cupped the back of Sammie’s head and kissed her chubby cheek. “Yes,” she said, smiling at the little girl’s face. “You’re a big girl.”
Caitlin was still gaping. “You . . . had a baby.”
“I did.”
Caitlin absorbed this blow, and yes, it was a blow, because once upon a time, she’d known everything—every single little thing—about her people. That was what she did: she was the center of their universe and kept them all connected. It gave her purpose and made her feel important in a world where she often felt invisible. The truth was she needed to be needed by them.
And yet she was now so unnecessary that Heather had gotten pregnant and had a baby without a word. Feeling like she’d just been hit by a freight train, she swallowed hard. “Is Sammie’s daddy coming too?”
“No.” Heather reached back into the car for a duffel bag, which she slung over her shoulder. Her jeans were torn in a few spots, and not by design. The rest of her clothing seemed ragged too, and now that the shock was wearing off, Caitlin noticed that Heather’s face was wan and tight, and it made her heart hurt. “You’re . . . on your own? No baby daddy?”
Something crossed Heather’s face. Pride. “We’re not together, but we’re friends and he helps. I’m good, Cat.”