‘Nanette, Nanette, wake up. You’re having one of your nightmares,’ Patsy shook her gently.
A shudder went through Nanette’s body as she came to.
‘Here, have a sip.’ Patsy handed her a glass of water. ‘What was it this time? Another monster breaking into the house? An earthquake?’
Nanette shook her head. ‘No. I was caught up in an avalanche.’ She took a sip of the water as Patsy regarded her thoughtfully.
‘It’s been ages since you’ve had a nightmare.’
Nanette nodded. ‘I know. I was hoping they’d finally finished,’ she said, her body still racked with shakes.
‘The therapist was saying only last month that it was a good sign I’d gone for so long without one. Wonder what interpretation she’ll put on tonight’s little episode?’ Nanette added through chattering teeth. ‘It was horrible.’
‘The stress of planning the wedding? Or maybe the thought of returning to Monaco?’ Patsy said, giving her sister a concerned glance. ‘Are you cold? Shall I get you a hot-water bottle?’
‘No, thanks. I’ll snuggle back under the duvet in a moment and I’ll soon warm up.’ Nanette smiled at her sister. ‘You go back to bed. Remember your condition. Don’t want you with dark circles under your eyes tomorrow, or rather today.’ She glanced at the bedside clock. ‘I’m sorry I woke you.’
‘If you’re sure you’re OK,’ Patsy said. ‘I could stay with you for a bit?’
‘I’m fine. Go back to bed,’ Nanette ordered. ‘l’ll leave the light on for a bit.’
Patsy glanced anxiously at her before leaving and pulling the door closed behind her.
Once she was alone, Nanette sat on the edge of the bed and took some deep breaths, trying to get her shaking body under control. It was never easy to banish the apprehension and terror that the nightmares brought.
Sitting there, watching a moth seemingly mesmerised by the bedside light, flying frantically round and round, Nanette’s thoughts flitted about in a similar manner over her latest nightmare.
These terrifying dreams had been an irregular part of her nights for nearly three years now. Ever since the car accident in which she – and Zachary Ewart – had nearly died.
The therapist, whom Patsy had persuaded her to see when the nightmares began in the weeks after the accident, had been right when she’d said they would happen less and less as time went on. Tonight’s nightmare, though, had been truly terrifying. As bad as any she’d ever had.
Slowly, as she sat there, the shaking stopped and the feeling of devastation retreated into her subconscious. There had been an extra dimension to the nightmare tonight – something that had lingered as she’d woken up.
As she’d hurtled down that slope in the path of the avalanche, screaming in terror, she hadn’t been alone. A shadowy figure had been alongside, urging her on.
‘Faster, faster. Remember, remember…’
Remember what? Despondently, Nanette replayed the nightmare in her mind, trying to come up with some positive memory from the episode, but her brain refused to co-operate.
Wearily, she slipped under the duvet and reached out to turn off the bedside light. Hopefully the rest of the night would pass peacefully. Now the decision was made and she was going to return to Monaco, she would need all her strength to get through the memories the coming weeks and months were sure to throw at her. She could only pray that she was making the right decision for her, but, in truth, what else could she do?
4
Returning to Vanessa’s with the twins after their weekend stay at Blackberry Farm, Nanette caught up with the usual chores that were involved with looking after Pierre and Olivia. Vanessa and Ralph returned late the same day, with Vanessa shooting an anxious, enquiring look at Nanette. Nanette smiled at her and nodded before saying, ‘We need to talk about it.’ But it wasn’t until the evening of the following day that she had the opportunity to talk properly to both Vanessa and Ralph.
The three of them were having a late supper around the kitchen table and Vanessa was saying how much she’d enjoyed their weekend on Burgh Island.
‘The hotel was wonderful. So luxurious. And its spa treatment room, sheer bliss,’ Vanessa sighed happily. ‘I haven’t ever been spoilt in quite the same way, even in Monaco. Something I could get used to, I warn you.’ Vanessa smiled at Ralph, who gave her an amused glance.
‘I think the Amazon jungle will soon bring you back down to earth,’ Ralph said.
‘Ah,’ Nanette said, pushing her supper plate away and picking up her still half-full glass of red wine. ‘About that.’ She took a mouthful before placing the glass back down on the table and looking at Vanessa. ‘First, are you still certain Mathieu and Jean-Claude can’t manage without me being there?’
‘Mathieu is adamant that he’s got too much on over the next few months for him to guarantee being available on a day-to-day basis. Jean-Claude, I know, will step in and help, but he’s busy with his business too. And, honestly, I’d feel so much happier if you were looking after them while we are away. You’re such a constant in their lives already. And I trust you to put them first whatever the circumstances.’
Nanette took a deep breath. ‘For you and the twins, I will go with them to Monaco and look after them. I can’t say I truly relish the idea of returning there but…’ And she gave a resigned shrug.
Vanessa was on her feet and rushed round to hug Nanette. ‘Thank you, thank you – I know it’s been a difficult decision for you. I promise you Jean-Claude will do everything to make your stay as easy as possible, even if Mathieu is away on business a lot,’ Vanessa said. ‘I can’t thank you enough for agreeing.’
‘Neither can I.’ Ralph quietly added his thanks to Vanessa’s. ‘A toast, I think? To Nanette, for Monaco, and to us, for the Amazon.’
Nanette smiled her acknowledgement of the toast as they all clinked glasses. Inwardly, though, she was terrified and fighting an overwhelming urge to shout out – I was joking. I didn’t mean it. I can’t possibly go back to Monaco.
And she definitely didn’t have an answer to the other major, panic-stricken thought going round and round in her mind: What have I done?
After a couple of weeks of frenzied preparations, Vanessa and Ralph departed for Brazil, leaving Nanette with no option but to fly to France with the twins.
As the plane lost height in preparation for landing at Nice Côte d’Azur airport, Nanette caught a glimpse of the famous giant pyramids complex on the Baie des Anges, in Villeneuve-Loubet. Built to resemble waves, standing seventy metres high above sea level, the apartment blocks overlooked a marina and the Mediterranean Sea. A sight that so many times in the past she’d been happy to see as she’d returned to Monaco after being away working. Today though, she didn’t feel the happiness, just a flood of unwelcome memories.
By the time the plane touched down some minutes later and taxied along the landing strip that ran alongside the edge of the sea, Nanette had taken several deep breaths. For better for worse, she was back in the South of France.
The Mediterranean sparkled under a warm March sun and she remembered how in the past returning had felt like coming home, and she’d always felt content to be back. Not today though. Today she was a bundle of apprehension, wondering what she would be forced to confront in the coming days and weeks. Whatever the next few months had in store for her, she prayed that the turbulence of her past wouldn’t intrude into the future.