Home > Round Up (Lost Creek Rodeo #1)(9)

Round Up (Lost Creek Rodeo #1)(9)
Author: Rebecca Connolly

Talia scowled at the mention of it. “My job is just that. A job. I’ll probably find another one after this. Doesn’t matter if I have flexible hours now.” Her lower lip trembled, and she looked away, squinting her eyes in an attempt to keep herself from crying.

“That’s what I’m talking about, kiddo.” He tapped her forearm again. “You need a reset button for your life. Lots of change has happened, and lots of change will continue to happen. This place could help you get yourself squared away so you can make sure you’re headed in the best direction for your future.” He waited another moment, then added, “We want you to smile again, Talia. Really smile, and for more than three seconds at a time.”

She nodded, her thoughts lining up a bit more. It was sweet, what he said, and she wasn’t going to pretend it didn’t touch her. She wanted all of those things, too. Wanted her life back. Wanted any life back. Wanted to feel something when she woke up in the morning instead of feeling nothing.

But would she have to go through hell in this place to get to that reset she so desperately needed? She’d shut down after Austin’s funeral, and had never really come back from that. If she felt anything, it was despair, and it was exhausting to face that day in and day out. So much easier to feel nothing, so she’d settled into a routine of nothing. Become addicted to nothing.

Could she go back into the ugly, heartbreaking, gut-wrenching truth of her life as it was?

She didn’t know.

She honestly didn’t know.

“Think about it?” her cousin pressed gently, yet somehow with a root of firmness that prompted a response.

“Okay,” she conceded, nodding again. “I’ll think about it.”

With perfect timing, their food arrived then, and they moved on to the safer subject of Grizz’s kids and home life. It stung a little, reminding her of Austin, but she could sting a little for this gentle giant she so loved.

Hours later, back home on her couch, she pulled up the website for Broken Hearts Ranch again. She couldn’t deny that her heart was broken, that it had been broken since November, and that she struggled to even find all the pieces, let alone manage to put them back together. She barely managed to get out of bed in the morning—how could she possibly fix anything about herself when she had zero motivation for her life?

Was it possible that this place could actually pick her up from the cold, hard ground and give her some semblance of a life again?

Scrolling through the pictures, Talia got the impression that this wasn’t a soft, fuzzy sort of retreat. She wasn’t going to be handled with kid gloves and given tropical drinks after a massage. This was a place designed to put you to work on your road to recovery, not hold your hand and hug you.

Granted, there might be hand holding and hugging, but there would also be a swift kick to the pants, in a way.

She might need that.

Who was she kidding? She absolutely needed that.

She made a face as she looked through the application requirements, biting her lip as the prospect of going became more of a possibility.

It could be an awesome sort of vacation, in a way, though she suspected she would be put to the test emotionally, if not put through the wringer. But it would be away from home, away from her job, and away from reminders.

That was a serious win.

Her phone buzzed in her hand, her mom’s picture popping up.

Talia sighed once, then pressed the green phone icon. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hey, sweetie,” the warm, familiar voice sounded, hesitation palpable. “What are you doing?”

“Looking at a therapeutic retreat on a ranch in the middle of nowhere, Texas, that Grizz found,” she replied without any of her own hesitation.

There was silence for a moment. “Okay,” her mom said slowly, “I didn’t expect that.”

Talia chuckled and opened the website again, looking through pictures. “It’s called Broken Hearts Ranch. Looks like they do therapy sessions, let you do chores on the ranch, and really focus on finding structure and purpose in daily life. It’s a beautiful place, if the pictures haven’t been doctored.”

“You’re considering this, aren’t you? I mean, you are seriously thinking about it.”

Her mother’s voice was soft, and there was a hint of excitement there that would have broken Talia’s heart had it not already been so. She’d lost her dad years ago, before she ever got pregnant, and her mom had given her everything, had been there for her constantly, had never let her down. She had struggled along with Talia in all this, and maybe even because Talia had struggled so much. It had to be painful to watch, but she’d never pushed Talia to do more or be more. She hadn’t ever made her feel that she should grieve differently, or that she should be better by now.

Surely, she had ached for her daughter, though.

Talia would have done the same for Austin.

If she had no other motivation, the chance to alleviate her mother’s distress and anxieties would be enough.

“Yeah,” she murmured, finding herself smiling. “Yeah, I’m seriously thinking about this. I don’t know why; it should be something I just roll my eyes at and crack jokes about. But something about the idea of a retreat specifically designed for broken hearts that doesn’t involve a beach, a spa, or the mountains …”

“You have to do this,” her mom interrupted briskly. “Talia, baby, you have to. I’m looking at it now on the computer, and this could be so perfect for you. Working through your pain with actual work, like physical labor, and engaging with a therapist regularly … Oh, sweetie, this just answers all of my prayers.”

Talia jerked at that, staring at the phone, though she couldn’t actually see her mom. She had no idea, no inkling, that her mother was even remotely religious, beyond a few holidays. She had been praying?

“You’re praying, Mom?” she asked quietly, unable to help herself. “Really?”

“I’ve prayed for years, hon,” came the equally soft answer. “Years and years. Ever since we lost your dad, and even more when we lost Austin.”

There was no helping the tears that sprang into Talia’s eyes, though she’d never been religious or spiritual herself. She didn’t think Austin was gone forever from her life, would like to think he was her guardian angel now, but had never really considered what she actually believed, in that regard. Knowing that her mother had faith of any kind, and that she used it on Talia’s behalf …

“Momma, I want to go,” she managed to squeak, nodding for the benefit of absolutely no one. “To this ranch, I mean. I want to go.”

“Then apply! Get Grizz to write you the letter, and start working on the application. I’m covering your plane tickets.”

Talia coughed a surprised laugh, wiping at her damp eyes. “No, Mom, I can afford that.”

“I don’t care if you own a plane,” her mom retorted, sounding a little emotional herself. “I’m buying your plane tickets when you get accepted, and that’s final!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Talia grinned at her phone as she clicked over to the messaging app, and began a quick text to her cousin. “Fingers crossed I actually get accepted.”

“You will,” came the confident reply. “If any broken heart deserves healing, it’s yours.”

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