Oh god. Now he was thinking about Coop and the things he’d said to Beau right before sending him to bed. Alone. Had he really meant them? As gruff as Coop came off, he’d done nothing but take care of Beau since they’d met—offering him dry pants, making him hot cocoa and then food, not to mention turning off Beau’s headlights so his battery didn’t die.
Jesus. Beau was a damn mess.
No wonder someone as hot and nice as Coop didn’t want to sleep with him. Even if he really did find Beau’s body attractive, what did Beau have to offer with his train wreck of a life?
“Stupid Danny messed up everything,” he muttered, turning on his side and pulling the pillow from the other side down so he could aggressively cuddle it, punching it into shape. Even if he hadn’t been over-the-moon in love with Danny, Beau had been prepared to marry his sorry ass. And he would have been faithful, darn it.
Beau had accepted that he’d have a mediocre sex life, but at least he wouldn’t be alone ever again.
Squeezing his eyes shut, a tear leaked out. He sounded so pathetic when he put it like that, but what was wrong with wanting someone to come home to or to do the chores Beau hated or to take care of him when he had a bad day?
Apparently, it was more than Danny had been willing to give.
What was saddest was that Beau had known that. He’d known, deep down, that Danny didn’t actually love him. Beau had convinced himself that Danny was compromising, like Beau was, with a person he was comfortable with so that he could start building a life with someone. He’d made himself believe that even if he’d never be completely happy, he’d be content, and he wouldn’t be alone.
And he’d convinced himself that was the best he could do.
It was almost funny how fast he’d changed his mind about settling for Danny if he didn’t focus on the sleeping-with-another-person part. One day he was accepting the life he thought he deserved, and the next, he was completely done with him and his mediocre dick.
He pressed his face into the pillow he was clutching to stifle an exhausted giggle. He’d bet his car that Coop not only had a good dick but knew how to use it.
Sighing, he flopped onto his back again, arms stretched out to the sides. He really, really needed to not think about Coop’s dick if he wanted to get any sleep.
After fussing with the blankets for a minute, he finally settled back down and tried to relax and clear his mind. He could do this. He could stop thinking about Alexander’s smirking face and Danny’s betrayal and Coop’s stupid good looks if he just tried hard enough.
He realized he was squeezing his eyes and hands shut when he heard a scratch at the door that shot him up in bed. For a moment, fear gripped his gut, like maybe a wild animal had gotten into the cabin, killed Coop, and was coming for him next.
Then he heard Trucker softly whine and realized exhaustion was making him even more ridiculous than usual.
He jumped out of bed and hurried to the door, practically tiptoeing to avoid the freezing cold floor. Pulling the door open a little, he stumbled back in surprise when Trucker bowled right through the small opening and past him, curling up on the end of the bed by the time Beau turned around.
Tempted as he was to just slip back between the sheets and go back to lying to himself about being able to sleep, he knew for a fact there was a dog bed right at the end of the footboard on the floor.
Five minutes later, he was convinced Trucker wasn’t the good, sweet boy he’d thought he was and that he was actually a devil dog. No matter how sternly he whispered or how many times he snapped his fingers, Trucker never even raised his head.
“Trucker, please, I don’t want your daddy to be mad at me when he finds your hair all over his bed. Now come on, get down.” He grabbed Trucker’s collar and gave it the tiniest tug, not wanting to hurt him, but all that did was make him flop onto his side and sigh. “Really? That’s how it is? I’m freezing my ass off here, and you have the nerve to act like I’m bothering you?”
“He can be a bit of a brat,” a sleep-rough voice said from behind him.
Beau whirled around, nearly tripping over the stupid dog bed in the process but managing to take a few haphazard steps and catch himself on… Coop’s bare chest. Dear god. He swallowed roughly as saliva pooled in his mouth at the firm, hairy skin under his hands.
All he wanted was to close that six-inch gap between them and sink into Coop’s warmth for the rest of the night. He just knew that if he was cuddled up against all of that muscley goodness, he’d sleep like a baby.
“Sorry,” he whispered, slowly peeling his fingers off and taking a step back. Of course, once he wasn’t distracted by Coop’s body, all he could think about was Coop seeing his since he was once again standing in front of him in just his lacy underwear.
Face burning, he crossed his arms over his chest and hunched his shoulders as he turned to the side a little, hoping Coop couldn’t see his tummy or love handles in the dark room.
“No, I’m sorry,” Coop murmured, having not moved at all from just inside the door. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Beau awkwardly waved him off without uncrossing his arms and cleared his throat as he stepped around the dog bed and tried to retreat to the other side of Coop’s bed. It seemed like it’d be less weird, somehow, if he could just get back under the blankets and cover himself up.
“It’s fine,” he said, voice a little higher pitched than normal. He was more aware than ever of how his ass was jiggling as he hurried away. “I was just trying to get Trucker onto his own bed, but he wasn’t having it.”
“Yeah, the dog bed is more wishful thinking on my part than anything else,” Coop said gruffly. When Beau peeked at him over his shoulder as he reached down to grab the covers, he saw Coop was staring at his ass and rubbing at the back of his head, brown hair sticking out adorably. “Sorry if he woke you up.”
Beau paused, one knee up on the bed, and considered his options. As much as his self-esteem had taken a hit from Danny’s infidelity, there was no mistaking the look on Coop’s face. Even in the darkened room, he could plainly see the way Coop watched him: a little predatory but also cautiously, like he wasn’t sure how to handle wanting Beau.
He’d felt rejected in the living room earlier, but he hadn’t actually put himself out there, had he? Coop had said he would have slept with him if they’d met another way—did he mean if Beau hadn’t just broken up with someone or if Beau wasn’t stranded and at Coop’s mercy?
Probably both. What little Beau knew about Coop pointed to a man who wouldn’t want to take advantage of someone in either of those situations, but especially not combined.
But what if Beau wanted to be taken advantage of?
Or, well, not that exactly. But he didn’t want to continue to lie in Coop’s big, warm bed feeling sorry for himself. He wanted to feel wanted, like even though Danny had slept with someone else, Beau was still desirable to someone as hot as Coop.
Fuck, he was scared.
“He… he didn’t wake me up,” he finally said, lowering his leg back to the ground but keeping his body somewhat averted. He couldn’t handle looking Coop square on and striking out. “I couldn’t sleep.” He took a deep breath and blurted out before Coop could say anything, “Will you stay in here with me?”