Lies.
I’d never given a blow job before, and up until a minute ago, had no immediate plans to perform the act on anyone but Alexander Skarsgard, who, unfortunately, I had no real prospects of ever meeting. But Vaughn was pushing me, and Jason was trying hard not to cry, even though his humiliation was bloated and hanging in the air, like fog.
If I could recover some of Jason’s self-esteem, while shocking Vaughn into understanding that I was no pushover, maybe he’d finally back off.
But Vaughn didn’t look shocked at all. He looked…pissed. His jaw was ticking so hard I thought it might snap out of his mouth and bite my face off. He tugged at my sleeve, jerking me forward, forcing me to keep up with his pace, a few feet ahead of Jason and Alice.
“What the fuck are you trying to do? Prove a point?” He bared his teeth.
“What point would that be? That I have a mouth?” I smiled serenely, taking weird pleasure in knowing he was irritated. “Maybe I want to get some action, too.”
“With that fuckboy?” Vaughn snorted, his nostrils flaring. I matched his stride, desperate not to pant. “He wouldn’t know how to get you off with four dildos, a magic wand, a vibrator, and the entire football squad.”
I would’ve laughed if I weren’t so nervous about what we were about to do.
“Some like dark, tall, and handsome. I like fair, short, and…sane.”
Vaughn yanked a door open and shoved me inside wordlessly, with a force that said he was royally pissed. The room was dark, cluttered, and stuffy. It smelled of dust and cleaning products. The janitor’s room, I figured.
Enchanting.
Alice and Jason joined us, and Vaughn shut the door behind them. He flicked the light on. Still frowning, he started working his belt in angry, jerky movements.
“I can help you with that.” Alice licked her lips, waiting for his okay.
Jason eyed me warily, expecting directions.
What have I gotten myself into?
“Jason, come here.” I waved him over awkwardly, gathering my tar-dyed hair and dropping it over one shoulder. He shuffled toward me, bumping his knee on a broomstick on his way. Vaughn’s hawk eyes followed us as Alice continued unbuckling him. The sound of the metal clicking made my heart jolt.
Alice cupped Vaughn’s groin through his black briefs, but he was still looking at me.
“Lenora.” His voice held a threatening edge, cruel and cutting, like broken glass. I knew a warning when I heard one.
Ignoring him, my unstable fingers worked Jason’s buttoned trousers. Flashes of me in Carlisle Castle, shaking under Vaughn Spencer’s finger like a leaf, ran through the dark corridors of my brain. He thought I was such a naïve, weak girl.
If I had to suck a stranger off to show him I, too, had a dangerous edge, I’d make the sacrifice and deal with the psychological damage later.
Holding on to all that unchanneled hate would likely give me a heart attack, as it was.
Even though I hadn’t intended for it to happen, Jason’s trousers slid down, the fabric pooling around his ankles with a soft thud. He was in his briefs now, and already hard. I watched the bulge of his penis, plastered to his stomach through the fabric—like a leech, long and swollen and frightening.
Lenny, you daft cow, you really did it this time.
No part of me wanted to do this. The right course of action had to be informing the educational staff and my father that Vaughn had been bullying me. Not that he did exactly that. He hadn’t forced me to do anything, but he challenged my every step, and made sure I remembered I didn’t belong.
This wasn’t a movie, though. No one would find my actions heroic or acceptable if I came forward and complained. People were going to call me a snitch, turn against me, and seek me out, whereas now, most of them simply ignored me or called me names. All told, I had a little less than one year to endure here in California. I could suck it up.
“Lenora,” Vaughn quipped again, his princely voice sharp as a blade.
Swallowing, I put a tentative hand on Jason’s…member. It jumped. I jumped right along with it, letting out an involuntary yelp.
“Are you okay?” A frown knit Jason’s brows as he shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.
He was obviously doing this for the same reason I was. Retaliation. Alice was mad to dump him for Vaughn.
“All evidence points to that being the case,” I blabbed, releasing a nervous chuckle. “I’m grand, really. This is…lovely. I mean, not your penis.” Penises were not lovely, were they? “Not that I’m saying that your penis is not lovely. It’s just. Oh…never mind.”
“Yup. A virgin,” Vaughn said from beside me, victorious satisfaction laced in his voice.
He was laughing, just like he had when he’d caught my eyelids moving the night It happened. Lava boiled in the pit of my stomach, and with newly found rage, I dropped to my knees and looked at Vaughn.
Alice quickly mimicked my movements, like it was a competition, getting down on her knees and trying to yank at Vaughn’s black briefs. He snatched her hand and kept them in place, not letting her pull them down, his eyes on mine.
I curled my fingers around the edge of Jason’s briefs and pulled them down. I wasn’t going to admit my virginity here, in this room, for Vaughn to laugh at me for eternity.
Jason’s penis sprang out, purple and angry, just inches from my face. I sucked in a shocked breath and reminded myself about the ghosts in Carlisle Castle. If I could handle sleeping in a haunted place all alone in a room, surely I could handle a penis, and not even a disproportionately huge one.
“Len…” Vaughn’s voice trailed off. For the first time, he didn’t sound so darkly amused by me and my antics.
I grabbed Jason’s penis, my entire body shaking with anger and adrenaline. I wanted to do this, to piss Vaughn off beyond repair. To hurt him. To hurt me. I leaned forward, screwing my eyes shut and thinking good thoughts…
Home.
Far away from here.
Home.
Chips with vinegar and ice-cold cider.
Home.
Running wildly in the fields behind my house, letting the grass slap my ankles.
Home.
Working in the studio again.
Home.
Making beautiful things out of ugly things.
Home.
Kissing boys. The right boys. Boys who don’t make me feel like dying.
Home. Home. Home.
“Fuck!”
I felt myself jerked by the collar of my Metallica shirt to the other side of the room. Vaughn was now standing between me and Jason, as a buffer, while I was still on the floor. He pointed back at me, facing Jason.
“What is wrong with you, you pile of oxygen-wasting shit? You could see she didn’t want it.”
“Is this a joke? You just propositioned my girlfriend in front of me!” Jason shrieked, his face bright red and glistening with cold sweat.
“Your girlfriend is not a virgin,” Vaughn yelled.
“And that makes it cool for you to treat her like a cum-bag? Don’t spin this on me, Spencer. There’s only one twisted motherfucker in this room, and it’s the guy who just told my girl she should suck him off in front of his crush to make a point.”
Vaughn threw his head back and laughed while Jason tucked his half-mast penis back into his briefs, pulling up his trousers. With every second that he became more dressed, I felt my heartbeat calming down.