She swallowed hard. “I miss your mom. I miss . . .”
Gabriel winced. There was an ocean of pain in Julianne’s unfinished sentence. She’d had an unhappy childhood with a mother who was sometimes abusive, sometimes indifferent.
“I miss Grace, too,” Gabriel admitted. “I think we will always miss her.”
“I’ve only been a mother for a couple of days, but I love Clare so much, I’d do anything for her. What was wrong with Sharon?” Julia whispered, clinging to her husband.
Gabriel gazed down at his wife. “I don’t know.”
His answer was true. How does one explain indifference and cruelty? He’d experienced both from his biological father. And eventually he came to realize that any attempt to explain such behavior was futile, because explanations often masqueraded as excuses. And he would not countenance excuses.
He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed. “I love you, Julianne. We love each other, and we love Clare. We didn’t begin our lives with the best role models, but think of who we have now: everyone in our kitchen, and Tom and Diane, and Scott and Tammy, and everyone else we love. We get to create our own family, for Clare.”
“She won’t know what it’s like to have a mother who doesn’t love her.” Julia’s tone grew fierce.
“No, she won’t.” Gabriel’s embrace tightened. “And she has a father who loves her and her mother very much.”
Julia wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry for ruining the party.”
“You haven’t ruined anything. It’s your party. You can cry, if you want to . . .”
Julia laughed and it was like the sun coming out after the rain. Then, inexplicably, she lifted up on tiptoes to peer over Gabriel’s shoulder through the front window. “Our lawn is covered in flamingos.”
Gabriel’s lips twitched. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
“I kind of like them.”
“I think you’re sleep-deprived.” He kissed her forehead.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want to laugh about those silly flamingos and I want to cry because we have such a great family. And I’m hungry.”
“Dr. Rubio warned us your recovery would take longer because of the complications. You’ve been feeding the baby every two to three hours. Of course you’re hungry.”
“I want to put a flamingo in the nursery.”
Gabriel’s head jerked back.
A flamingo will ruin the aesthetic we’ve painstakingly created, he thought. It’s a crime against interior design.
He changed the subject. “Maybe you should take a nap and I’ll send everyone home?”
“That would be difficult. With the exception of Katherine, everyone is staying with us.”
“Right.”
“Now who’s sleep-deprived, Professor?” Julia grinned and took his hand.
Gabriel rubbed his forehead with his other hand. “I’ll book rooms at the Lenox. It’s a nice hotel.”
Julia looked up at his earnest blue eyes and worried expression. She squeezed his hand. “Don’t send them away. I’m fine. Really.”
Gabriel gave her a dubious look.
As she leaned against him, he was seized by the memory of her in the delivery room. She was lying on a gurney, pale and very still. The doctor had shouted at the nurses to escort him out of the room.
He’d thought she was dead.
He felt his heart stutter and placed his hand on his chest.
Julia peered up at him. “Gabriel, are you all right?”
He blinked.
“I’m perfectly well.” He covered up his agitation by kissing her firmly. “I’m concerned about you.”
Before Julia could respond, a throat cleared nearby.
They turned to find Rebecca, their housekeeper and friend, standing near the doorway. Rebecca was tall, with bobbed salt-and-pepper hair and large dark eyes.
She crossed over to the couple and gave Julia a concerned look. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” Julia lifted her arms at her sides. “Just weepy.”
“Hormones.” Rebecca patted her on the shoulder. “It will take time for your body to get back to normal. You may find your feelings going up and down.”
“Oh.” Julia’s features relaxed, as if Rebecca’s words were a revelation.
“I had the same experience when my son was born. I was laughing one minute, crying the next. But it settles out. Don’t worry. Do you want to lie down? I can postpone lunch.”
Julia looked at Gabriel. He lifted his eyebrows.
“No, I want to see everyone. And I want to eat.” She looked longingly in the direction of the kitchen.
“Lunch is almost ready. Take your time.” Rebecca hugged Julia and exited the living room.
“I forgot about the hormone fluctuation.” Julia gazed up at Gabriel. “I feel lost.”
“You aren’t lost.” Gabriel’s tone was firm. He lifted Julia’s chin and took her lips in a slow, sweet kiss. “We will never be lost, so long as we have each other.”
Julia kissed him. “I’m so glad you’re here. I can’t imagine trying to navigate this by myself.”
Gabriel pressed his lips together. Once again, he remembered the important email but decided it was not the appropriate moment to mention it.
He gestured toward the window. “We have a thousand and one flamingos on our front lawn. You’re far from alone.”
Julia looked up into Gabriel’s very serious, slightly irritated face. And she burst out laughing.
Chapter Five
That afternoon, Gabriel glared at a myriad of metal attachments, screws, and plastic pieces, which were arranged with military precision atop the nursery carpet.
(It should be noted there were no flamingos in sight.)
He cast a baleful look at an empty box on which an infant swing was jauntily displayed and scowled again at the arranged pieces. “Son of a—”
A throat cleared behind him.
Gabriel turned to see Richard standing in the doorway, holding Clare.
The infant was fussing and Richard was doing his best to soothe her, holding her close and moving back and forth.
“Where’s Julianne?” Gabriel approached the doorway and lightly touched the baby’s head.