“You’re basically the same size again.”
Julia frowned. “That’s why my obstetrician sent me to the dietitian this afternoon. Breastfeeding burns a lot of calories, apparently.”
“And gives you spectacular cleavage!”
Julia laughed and entered the closet. “Which won’t last forever. But I’ll enjoy it while I can.”
She changed into silk pajamas and a robe and reentered the bedroom. She plumped the pillows on her bed and reclined, facing her daughter and her friend. “How was your day?”
Rachel touched the baby’s head. “Fine. I catalogued all the gifts and flower arrangements for you.”
“Thank you. Gabriel ordered birth announcements with a photo of the three of us. I was going to send them out with thank-you notes.”
“I can help. Gabriel’s sister Kelly sent a silver frame and a piggy bank from Tiffany. I’ve never seen one before.”
“She’s very generous,” Julia mused. “She helped Gabriel connect with other members of his family. Their grandfather was an important professor at Columbia. Every fall they have a special lecture in his memory. We missed it because of Clare’s arrival. But I think Kelly and her husband are coming to Clare’s baptism.”
Rachel’s grin faded.
Her reaction did not go unnoticed. “We wanted to ask you to be Clare’s godmother privately. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot during breakfast.”
Rachel lowered her head, allowing her long blond hair to partially shield her face. “Do you think Dad has been acting weird lately?”
“No, what do you mean?”
“He practically knocked over a chair this morning trying to help Rebecca with the casserole.” Rachel was indignant.
“Richard is chivalrous. You know that.”
Rachel tossed her hair, exposing her face. “I don’t like how she was looking at him.”
“I didn’t see anything inappropriate,” Julia said slowly. “Richard probably enjoys having someone his own age to talk to. But he’s still grieving your mother.”
“I thought Rebecca lived in Norwood.”
“She did. She rented out her house to move in with us. It’s only temporary.”
Rachel made a derisive noise but didn’t reply. She continued rocking, looking down at her sleeping niece.
Julia took time to choose her words, fearing she was going where angels refused to tread. “If I saw something romantic in the way Richard looked at Rebecca, I would tell you. But I haven’t. Were they acting weird while we were at the hospital?”
“No.” Rachel continued rocking and her shoulders softened. “Maybe I’m just seeing things.”
“Richard spends a lot of time by himself. I know my dad and Diane have socialized with him, but they have their hands full with Tommy.”
“Dad moved to Philadelphia to be closer to Aaron and me, but we didn’t see him much. So he quit his job at Temple and went back to Selinsgrove. He’s been teaching a class here and there at Susquehanna, but other than that . . .” Rachel’s voice trailed off. “You’re right. He probably needs to get out more. I’ll speak to Aaron about going home more often.”
Rachel gazed down at the baby and lightly kissed the top of her head. “I love you, little Clare. But I don’t think I can be your godmother.”
Julia’s eyebrows lifted. “Wait. What?”
Chapter Eleven
If anything were to happen to you or Gabriel, I would raise Clare as my own. I hope you will appoint me and Aaron as guardians.” Rachel’s expression was determined.
“Of course. We’ve already discussed it.” Julia’s mind spun.
“But I did some reading online. At a Catholic baptism, one of the sponsors has to be Catholic. I can be a witness as an Episcopal, but you need a Catholic to be the sponsor. Since I’m a woman, the Church would require the sponsor to be a Catholic male.”
“I didn’t know that.” Julia’s voice grew small. “I thought all they’d care about was that you agreed to raise Clare in the Church.”
“I would, but I can’t be the official godmother. I could be a witness if you appointed a Catholic godfather.”
Julia groaned. “There isn’t anyone. Just my dad, but—”
“I get it,” Rachel interrupted. “I’m glad you and your dad are getting along better, but I can see why he isn’t the best choice. My dad is Episcopal, and so are Aaron and Scott.”
Julia covered her face with her hands. “I’m an idiot. I didn’t know this. I thought we could pick who we wanted.”
“Here’s the thing: I’m honored you asked me. I can be Clare’s unofficial godmother and her zany aunt Rachel. But you’re going to have to choose a Catholic for the ceremony.”
Julia dropped her hands. “Our priest is cool. I could ask him to make an exception.”
Rachel began rocking more vigorously. “No. Honestly, Jules, I’m kind of upset with God at the moment. So I’m not comfortable taking on the responsibility of Clare’s spiritual guidance, anyway.”
Julia studied her sister-in-law. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I still believe, but I feel I’ve been treated unjustly. My mother died unexpectedly. I want to have a baby, but can’t.” She heaved a great sigh. “It would be hypocritical for me to stand up as a godmother when I have so many doubts.”
“I think God wants us to be honest, even in our doubts.”
“Yes, well, I don’t just have doubts; I have grievances. Why don’t you ask Katherine to be the official godmother? She said she was Catholic.”
“She’s been dropping hints since we announced my pregnancy.” Julia gave her friend a rueful smile.
“See? She’s into it. She’ll be perfect as the godmother.”
“What about you?” Julia crossed the room to her friend.
“I get to be Aunt Rachel.” She leaned down and kissed the baby’s forehead. The baby crinkled her brow but kept her eyes closed.
“I’ll talk to Gabriel.” Julia paused. “How are you doing? Really?”
“I went off the fertility medication, but you knew that.”
“How are you feeling about that?”
“Physically? I’m fine. But I’m in sorrow, Jules. I really wanted to have a baby, but that won’t happen.”