Decker spun around from the stove top to face me, and my breath nearly caught at the sight of him. He was fully dressed for the day. With dark jeans and a blue t-shirt, he looked handsome. His dark, wavy hair was still wet from his shower this morning, and I found myself wanting to run my fingers through it, which was absofuckinglutely ridiculous.
I was still in my pajamas, which consisted of an oversized t-shirt and short shorts. Lance kept telling me to make myself at home, so I didn’t bother changing. If I had known it would be Decker waking me up with breakfast, though, I might have been a little more attentive to my appearance. “Oh,” I began. “Well, you don’t have to keep me company. I was going to apply for jobs at a few local restaurants. Lance has been keeping me so busy all week I haven’t had the time.”
Lance filled up every minute of my day. He took me shopping, showed me around town, and even took me to look at a new car he was thinking about buying me. I managed to convince him not to, saying that Mama’s car had sentimental value. He was going out of his way to make me feel at home, and I had to choke back my prejudice about charitable men at every turn. He was my brother, I should be excited to have a family member that wanted to help me, but something kept pulling me back. It was probably his asshole best friend making me feel like shit for even breathing the same air as Lance.
Decker grabbed a frying pan full of scrambled eggs and set it in front of me on a hot pad before migrating over to the stool beside mine. “I have a better idea, actually. You game?”
“That depends on what the idea is,” I replied. Decker’s voice sounded sleepy in a sexy sort of way, and I noticed some scruff on his angular jaw. Scooping a spoon full of eggs onto my plate, I noted that he’d sprinkled some cheese on them. Two days ago, I’d made an offhand comment that I preferred my eggs that way, and I was surprised that he remembered.
Decker reached up to grab a slice of toast, brushing his arm along mine. I turned to casually stare at him as he buttered his bread, noticing how his eyes kept drifting to my legs. “How about this,” he began. “I’ll tell you where we’re going if you give me five truths.”
“Five truths?” I questioned.
“For every lie you’ve told Lance this week about your mother, I want you to tell me the truth.”
I swallowed. No. No way in hell. I didn’t want to risk him telling Lance. “No, thank you. I’m fine with surprises,” I replied with an eye roll before shoveling a spoonful of food in my mouth.
“Fair enough. Tell me three truths, then, and I’ll get you a job at my friend’s restaurant. She’s always looking for servers.”
I swallowed my mouthful of food. Taking a gulp of steaming hot coffee, I took my time mulling over his proposition before sputtering my response. “Really? You’d do that?” I asked.
Decker leaned in closer with a smile, then lifted his thumb up. I stared at him in confusion before he swiped at my bottom lip, tugging the skin with the padding of his finger. My mouth parted in shock as a gasp escaped my chest. “You had some food there,” he rasped before pulling away. Heat flooded my skin, and I squeezed my thighs together before shifting in my seat. His eyes lingered on my mouth where his finger just was, like he was searching for another excuse to touch me. I bit down on my bottom lip, making him let out a subtle gasp.
Coughing, Decker shook his head before answering my question. “I think a job could be good for you. It’ll help you get on your feet faster. I’ve always had a job, even when my parents insisted on paying for everything. The owner is nice, and they’d work around your school schedule.”
“I told you. I’m not sure I want to go to school. I can still get my GED and be done with this. Faster I graduate, the faster I can work full time.”
“That’s a piss poor plan. Why not have both?” Decker asked. “I’ve seen your grades. With a little effort, you could easily get a scholarship. Or are you too lazy to work for it?” His voice was like a sneer, dripping with attitude. So we were back to thinking I was the mooch, yeah?
I shoved my plate away, no longer hungry. He was pissing me off. Lazy? I was the girl that cared for her dying mother and kept a 4.0 GPA. I was the girl that worked a night shift at the plant so we could afford her hospital bills and keep the trailer. I was the girl that gave up a social life while her mother lived it up. I avoided relationships because I had already been in an abusive one that broke me down.
I could feel all my doubts spilling from my lips like venom. Scholarships were for other kids. Kids that didn’t smile when their mamas died. Kids that didn’t feel obligated to save their parents and relieved when they failed. “What if it doesn’t work out? What if Lance decides he’s done playing the doting brother and wants nothing to do with me? I need to protect myself,” I said through gritted teeth, maintaining eye contact with Decker as I spoke. It felt invigorating and intimidating to spit out the fears that had been swirling around my head for the last few weeks.
Decker placed his hand on my knee, drawing my attention back to him. “I’ve known Lance my whole life. I might be wary of having you here, but he won’t abandon you once the newness wears off. He’s fiercely loyal and well-meaning. Protect yourself by accepting help.”
“Why do you want me to accept help?” I asked. “Last we talked, you were threatening to kick me out.”
“I think you could be good for Lance,” Decker replied cryptically.
I swallowed. I hated that I was so distrusting, years of failed promises and let downs were like bricks lined along my back. It was hard to think of anything else with those experiences weighing me down. “I’ll think about it,” I replied. “And I’ll take your offer on the job.”
“Great!” he said before pulling his hand back while snapping his fingers. “Three truths. Go.” He then leaned forward, bracing his fist under his chin like I was the most exciting thing in the room. Like he wanted to study me. His dark eyes were assessing and tempting. I wanted to run my hand through his dark, disheveled hair.
I let out a slow exhale before beginning. “My mama liked carnivals. Would go every weekend if she could. She only actually took me once, though, and it was so I could drive her home. She’d always go with her friends or with whatever dick she was sucking. Never with me,” I answered with a sigh. Decker remained utterly silent, his only confirmation that he’d heard me was a nod to continue. I searched his face for pity, expecting a sympathetic smile or even disgust. But all that greeted me was understanding and the courage to continue.
“I told Lance that she smelled like roses, but it wasn’t the full truth. She liked to smoke cigarettes and would spray herself down with cheap rose water to try and cover the scent of tar.” I hated that smell, it was always on my clothes, my skin, my hair, my soul.
“And the last one?” Decker encouraged while leaning in even closer. I could have brushed our noses together if I wanted—and I wanted to for some fucked up reason.
“My Mama loved makeup,” I choked out. “She had many faces—many masks. Everyone she ever met got to see a new one. I was the only person that saw her stripped bare. I never much liked the stuff, but she’d always tried to cake it on me.”