“I know an asshole when I see one,” I replied while staring at his back. He set down his leather messenger bag on the coffee table in their living room as I stepped through the threshold. Decker spun around to face me again, and the moment his dark eyes met mine, I started looking around the apartment to avoid his gaze. His eyes were too cruel, too inquisitive. I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
The loft was nice. Clean. Had modern furniture and an open concept living area. I loved the dark wood floors and abstract art on the walls. It seemed like every damn part of this apartment was selected by someone with an eye for design.
“This place is really nice.” I swallowed before taking another step forward. If I was going to live with this guy, I should probably rein in my temperamental tongue. I didn’t know these people, didn’t know if Lance would kick me out for insulting his best friend. I took another step. It seemed like every shuffle of my feet brought me closer to the reality of my situation. “So you’re Lance’s roommate?” I asked while clutching the straps of my backpack. I wasn’t ready to part with it. Setting my belongings down would mean that I was here to stay, and I wasn’t wholly committed to that idea, especially since Decker’s welcoming was cold as ice.
“Temporary roommate. I bought a fixer-upper outside of town with some land. It needs massive renovations, so I’m staying here for six months while it gets put together. Lance and I grew up together, and he’s always been the type to take in anyone that needs help.” His dark eyes stared openly at me, disdain evident in his expression.
I wasn’t sure how that made me feel. On the one hand, I felt like another problem someone got off on fixing. I wasn’t special; it was just in my brother’s charitable nature. But I was still thankful for a roof over my head.
“So where is Lance?” I asked. It seemed weird that he wasn’t even here to greet me. I pulled the cheap gas station phone out of my backpack to see if I had any missed calls or texts from him. I filled up my minutes with some of the money he sent me so we could keep in touch for reasons like this. I was used to flighty behavior, but I’d been hoping he hadn’t inherited that trait from my—our—mother.
“He got stuck in a meeting with a client. He’s designing a new hotel, and the owner is being a pain in the ass,” Decker replied while staring at me. I wasn’t sure what it was about this guy, but it was as if I could feel his gaze. It wasn’t like a caress or heated look. Just an all-knowing assumption that hit me in the gut with its penetrating punch. “Why don’t you have a seat?” he offered while gesturing to the rustic leather couch beside him. I nodded and reluctantly shuffled over to him, every nerve in my body on high alert with this strange place and this strange man.
I took off my backpack and clutched it to my chest, not willing to let it go. It seemed silly to hold on to a bunch of meaningless belongings, but they were all I had.
Once I lowered myself to the couch, he sat beside me. Our legs brushed, and he let out a quick exhale as he shifted to increase the distance between us. It was the first sign of uncertainty I’d seen in his confident demeanor since meeting. I wasn’t necessarily one to enjoy the reactions guys got from looking at me. Boasting about beauty was one of my mama’s vices. But for some fucked up reason, I liked knowing that simple touch affected him.
“I’ll cut to the chase. I did my homework, saw your mom’s rap sheet. I don’t know you, but I do know that Lance has worked fucking hard to get to where he’s at. If I think—for even a second—that you’re here to cause trouble? I’ll have you gone like that,” he said while snapping his fingers to accentuate his point.
I should have been pissed. But for some reason, all I could feel was an odd sense of jealousy. What would it feel like to have someone so devoted? What would it be like to have someone that had my back? I didn’t like Decker’s assumptions about me, but I liked that he was fiercely protective of my brother. It must be nice. “Understood,” I gritted.
“Good,” he replied with a wide smile. “Lance tells me you’ll be a senior this year?”
I frowned. “I’m not exactly committed to the idea of finishing school. I’m looking at getting my GED so I can get on my feet faster. I guess we’re both temporary roommates,” I replied with a grimace. Decker’s face dropped for a moment as if he was surprised by my answer, but he recovered quickly.
“Temporary is good. You’re a National Merit Scholar, yeah?”
Of course he knew about my grades. Lance seemed like an open book, telling you his life story the moment he got you in his grasp. It figured he’d tell his roommate all about me. I just wished he’d told me about his angry roommate.
The truth was that I loved school. I loved learning new things bigger than my shitty life and shitty situation. My grades had slipped a little while taking care of Mama. Between working nights as a custodian at the local power plant and making sure her quality of life was decent, I didn’t really have time for homework.
“Yeah, I was,” I replied, wanting to change the subject. I didn’t want to get my GED. I didn’t want to work in some crappy job with crappy pay. I’d had plans, once. “I think right now I’m just taking things a day at a time. I want to meet Lance and see if this is going to be a good fit for me. I have three weeks until school starts. If I think I can put some roots down here, I will. I’m not committing to anything yet, regardless of what you think.”
“Fair enough,” Decker replied speculatively before twisting his body to look at me. His white shirt strained against his muscular body, and sitting this close, I could see the hint of a tattoo peeking up his neck. “I teach biology at a magnet school,” he explained. “If you want to make something of yourself, let me know. I’d be happy to help you get enrolled. If you think you’ll just be sitting here on your ass, you’re dead wrong.”
I stared back at him, shock scattering across my face like spiders. “I have no intention of sitting here on my ass,” I replied in a mocking tone.
I twisted to stare at the front door, not sure if I wanted Lance to show up and end this awkward interrogation. I was pretty sure it would just elevate the strange situation to an entirely new level of uncomfortable. “I just want to make sure you aren’t another person capitalizing on Lance’s generosity. I am sorry about your mom though,” Decker finally said after a long lull.
I kept my eyes trained on the front door, willing my brother to show up and drag me away from the polite “thank you” I’d have to purge from my system. I felt terrible because there was a deep part of me, a piece I didn’t want to acknowledge or admit was there, that was happy to see her gone. Not because she was a terrible mother. Not because she brought boyfriends home that touched me and pushed me around. Not because we were poor and lonely.
I was glad Mama died because I was finally free. I didn’t want to be chained to a selfish woman’s suffering when I knew she ultimately wouldn’t provide me with the same courtesy. “Thanks,” I replied in a dull tone, my bland gratitude seeping from my pores with every syllable. “So I’m guessing Lance does this often? Takes in strays?” I asked.
“All the fucking time. Lance would give the shirt off his back to a murderer if given the chance,” Decker replied while rubbing his temples.