I’m a pediatrician. Of course, I wanted a houseful of children.
And if I’d been married to someone I love, I’m sure I would have tried. But after a few years of marriage, I had no desire to sleep with Marion. My hand was safer and brought me far more pleasure. Besides, I wanted out so badly, I couldn’t handle my departure being held up by another child.
Jesus, that sounds awful. I’m such a dick.
My guilty conscience is suddenly amplified when a group of teenage girls come into sight. Screams and giggles ensue as they drool over the rail-thin teenage boy they’ve deemed worthy of their worship. I can’t help but smile. Their braids and colorful braces pull my heartstrings and make me wish I’d invited Olivia.
We don’t spend enough time together. It’s not her fault. I should try harder. I know she’s got a new boyfriend she wants me to meet, but I’ve been in such a funk I haven’t made time to fit them into my schedule. I’ll see her as soon as I get back.
While I answer an email, a young woman stops near the window to use it as a mirror. With the reflection of the sun beating down on the glass, she can’t see the strange man staring curiously at the way she applies gloss on her pouty lips. When she rubs her lips together, my eyes helplessly run down the length of her body. She’s exquisite. Lithe and petite. Curvy with long legs peeking out of a short gauzy dress. Her white bikini is easily visible through the sheer fabric and for the first time for as long as I can remember, my mouth waters at the sight of a woman.
Stunned by her beautiful face, I’m utterly enthralled by each changing expression, every smile and each lock of wavy brown hair blowing in the breeze. I gaze fixated and wait for her next move. I couldn’t look away if I tried. She looks from side to side, removes her hot pink sunglasses and winks. For a second, I think she sees me. My heart races as a hopeful smile creeps on my lips.
Is she winking at me?
When she peeks over her shoulder again, I know I’m wrong. She’s practicing. Her bright amber eyes beam through long fluttering lashes as she pouts and poses in front of the glass. She has no earthly idea a pathetic old man is on the other side of the glass, growing hard as a rock as she rehearses her best come hither looks for whatever jerk she’s meeting on the island.
No, she’s not here for anyone else. She can’t be.
And if she is, he can go to hell.
I’m here for a reason. She’s here for a reason. This is kismet. Fate. I’ve been with one woman my whole life and I hated every second. The trauma left me celibate for fifteen years. There are hundreds of windows on this strip and she stopped at mine. That’s not a coincidence.
Oh, please God, I’ve never asked for much. Give me this girl.
As she discreetly pushes her breasts together, I feel desperate to touch her. An unknown hunger takes control of my senses and renders me an idiot as I foolishly press my hand against the glass. It’s a mistake. Her eyes grow wide with fear. She gasps, covers her mouth with a look of mortification and rushes away. Fuck!
I feel shaken into action. I need to meet her. I want to say hello and hear her voice. If I don’t find out who she is, I might never see her again and I don’t think I can bear it. Not now. Not after I’ve waited so long for this day. Without a moment to lose, I store my computer and dart out into the street.
But she’s gone. My girl is gone.
In a panic, I scan east to west. My eyes search every sidewalk, every parking stall and exit. Nothing. No one matches her description. Where could she have gone? How could she leave me?
Was she even real?
Four
Tessa
I’m twenty years old and I’ve never been kissed. I’ve never had a boyfriend. Except for high school dances, I’ve never dated. There was no need, and I had no desire. Dating is for people on the prowl. Lovers looking for their other half. I don’t need to look. I know exactly where I belong and if I spend the rest of my life looking for someone to replace him, I’d never find his equal.
Six years ago, I fell in love. Earth-shattering, mind-blowing love that shook me to my core. That first gaze crushed my heart and nearly brought me to tears. His first smile swept me away into another world where only he and I exist. There was no doubt in my heart and soul that I’d found the man I’d love until the end of time.
I know it sounds nuts. But when you’re fourteen, and your heart awakens for the first time, it doesn’t feel foolish. It feels real and larger than life.
It’s not like I didn’t know things were complicated. My teenage brain couldn’t fully comprehend the depths of my feelings, but even then, I knew I had to wait. He was older and married.
Yeah, I know. Horrible.
He was my best friend’s father. Scandalous. And he was too good of a man to take a second glance at an adolescent girl.
But that didn’t keep me from dreaming.
Every night, I dreamed our day would come. I wouldn’t stay fourteen forever and I could tell even then, his marriage wouldn’t last. His misery was unmistakable. Eventually, he’d be free, and when that day came, he’d realize everything he ever wanted was right in front of him.
Of course, things didn’t go according to plan.
A year into my vigil, life swooped in and destroyed my dreams. My parents, whom I always assumed were happy, went through an ugly divorce and turned my world upside down. Within weeks, they sold the house and pulled me from school. Dad moved in with his girlfriend and Mom moved us into the suburbs of Connecticut.
But my heart stayed in New York.
On a tragic, tear-filled ride in my mother’s Volvo, I vowed I’d never settle for good enough or happy for now. I’d take all or nothing at all.
I’d have Calvin Young or no one else.
So, I’ve waited, dreamed and hoped for another chance. A second chance to make him mine.
That’s why I’m here. That’s why I’m walking on the beach towards his summer home in my best string bikini. He may not be there. This might be for nothing. But I need to see this through or I’ll never move on.
Calvin and I belong together.
This is inevitable. Fated. Written in the stars.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t give it a push.
Five
Calvin
She’s the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Of course, my eyes fell out of my head. Is it any wonder my heart beat so hard it felt like it repeatedly crashed into my sternum? This isn’t a miracle. It isn’t fate. I’m just a foolish, horny, old man who wants to believe in love. After all these years, I still want to believe the love of my life waited for me, the way I’ve waited for her.
But she’s not real.
I couldn’t find her. I spent hours walking the beach, visiting random stores, and following every possible lead from strangers who swore they saw someone resembling her only minutes before I appeared. For a brief second, I felt a tinge of hope. I caught a glimpse of a woman in a red Porsche that resembled her from a distance. She never saw the idiot flagging her down, and I’d like to assume that wasn’t her. There’s no way someone like that, as hot as she is, driving a Porsche, would waste her time on me.