Timber steps back. “If this is too much too soon, we can go to the beach.”
I open my eyes and stare at the window.
“Will you… hurt me?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Not right now.”
I walk slowly to the edge of the room. The sky stretches out before us, the bright white of the sun reflecting off the waves like glitter. I see small dark shapes off in the distance that might be people.
The last time someone saw me having sex, I didn’t have any control. It wasn’t a choice. This time it would be. Timber’s letting me choose.
I place my hands on the window and lean my body against the cool glass.
Through the reflection in the window, I watch Timber yank off his T-shirt. It’s surreal to see the enormous dragon tattoo that spans his chest and wraps around his waist in person. In interviews, he said it was an ice dragon who invaded the breeding pits where he was held captive. She froze the guards and set everyone free. His tattoo has pale-blue scales and sharp teeth but soft, kind eyes. It embodies what I love best about him: a kindness that’s fierce when necessary.
He runs a hand up and down my back, bending his neck to kiss my shoulder. “This body, baby boy, it’s perfect.”
I close my eyes. My body is humming under his touch, my heart racing, and yet, I feel calm. Safe. As Timber’s hands run along the outside of my arms, I want to stop time. Timber said I could pay to have sex with him “regularly.” What does regularly mean, exactly? How often can I ask for his services before I seem too needy?
His hands move to my chest. The skin there is so much more sensitive than my back. He pauses as his fingers brush over my nipples. A sharp pleasure shoots through me as he takes both nubs between his fingers.
“Daddy, I—”
“Shhhhhh.” He rolls the sensitive flesh with his fingertips. My body moves of its own volition, pushing into his touch. His fingers release me.
“What? Are you—”
“Be still.”
Timber’s done this with plenty of his scene partners. He doesn’t even have to tie them up. The way he teases them and plays their bodies like an instrument gives him complete control. All he has to do is threaten to stop, and they’ll do anything for another touch or caress from him.
“I’m sorry,” I say.
He nuzzles my ear. “What are you sorry for? You arched so prettily for me. Feel what you do to me, baby boy.” He steps closer to me, and the solid, thick heat of his cock presses against my ass.
I choke back a moan.
“You like that? Would you like my thick cock up your pretty little ass?”
I melt into him. I’d give anything for it. Anything.
“Please, Daddy. Oh, please.” My voice sounds so pathetic. I know we’re not going to have sex yet.
“Tonight, baby boy. I swear to you.”
He pinches my nipples again, and it’s so unexpected it almost hurts. My body wants to move with him, beg for more. But I stand perfectly still.
“You’re being so good. I think you deserve something.”
One of his hands slides down my chest and belly. I open my eyes. The shapes in the distance are moving closer.
Timber’s fingers circle my shaft.
“Look at those people down there. Watch them walk toward us, boy.” He grips my cock, pushing my foreskin up and down my shaft. Pleasure jolts through me like lightning. “If they looked up, they’d see every inch of your naked body.”
A part of me wants them to see Timber stroking me. I glance down. Timber has an octopus tattoo on the outside of his right hand. The tentacles wind around his fingers. It’s such a rush to see his hand on my cock. This can’t be real.
“I’m sorry. I’m not going to last,” I whisper.
“I know, baby boy. I can feel the hardness of your cock, how taut your body is.”
His hand switches from slow to fast, his mouth latching onto my neck and sucking at my skin. I dig my fingertips into the glass and try not to move, but I can’t help it. I lose control, bucking my hips forward as my body crests and I come all over the window. I sob because it’s so good. Better than good. My body trembles as I realize I need this. I can’t live without it anymore. What am I going to do?
“Hey, shh. Let’s go rest for a little bit, okay?” Timber says. With one graceful movement, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me to the bed. He sets me down on top of the comforter and lies next to me.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize—”
“There’s nothing to apologize for here. From what I understand, it’s been a long time since you’ve been with anyone. And given your bond ache, it’s understandable that it would be emotional.”
He pulls me close. The warmth of his bare chest against mine just makes me cry harder. Is this what I could have had with a mate? I don’t want him to ever let me go. How could anyone think that money is worth more than this? I’d give anything to be held by someone every night. Absolutely anything.
I cling to Timber even though I know I shouldn’t. I’m being annoying. The last thing he wants is someone who’s annoying. I force myself to take deep breaths. If I’m going to do this with him, I need to pull myself together.
“Let’s go to the beach,” I say.
“Are you sure?” He searches my eyes with such compassion I almost start crying again.
The truth is that I’m never going to have a man hold me close every night. That’s just reality. But I could have a man hold me sometimes if this works out between Timber and me.
“Yes, I’m sure.”
6
Timber
It’s the little things that reveal how meticulously Andrew prepared for this trip. When we get to the beach, I discover there’s a beach towel for me in Andrew’s bag. And not just any beach towel. This one has a huge octopus on it. The sunscreen he shyly offers to spread on my back is labeled “Tattoo Care.” He even has three paperback novels in there—all by Louis L’Amour, an author I off-handedly mentioned liking in an interview three years ago.
At first, I don’t even remember mentioning it. But when I ask Andrew how he knew, he blushes and admits he’s seen every interview with me he could find on YouTube. That’s a lot of interviews. I’ve been in the business a long time.
“So, you want to read on the beach?” I ask.
He shrugs. “Uh, yeah. What else would we do?”
I hold back a smile. “Walk through the waves? Play volleyball with the net they have set up over there? Nap?”
He looks away from me. “Right. Sorry.”
Maybe it’s been so long since Andrew interacted with people that he’s forgotten how.
“How about this? Take a nice, long walk with me. Chat for a bit. And then we’ll come back and read.”
He shakes his head. “It’s fine. We don’t have to read.”
“You said you’d let me plan this trip, didn’t you? Said we could do whatever I wanted?”
“Well, yeah, but—”
I press a finger to his lips. “Say ‘yes, Daddy.’”
He gives me this sweet, shy smile that makes me want to take him back to the hotel and fuck him silly. “Yes, Daddy. We can do whatever you want.”