“Me too,” he said. “I don’t know why I even told you because I sure as hell don’t want my appearance on the show to be dogged down in what happened.
“What happened? I mean you don’t have to say, I don’t even know why I asked.”
He shrugged and shook his head, that beautiful carefree smile not showing any chance of returning. “It’s okay, but can you keep that to yourself for a bit?”
“Of course, I’m sorry—”
“It’s okay,” he interrupted and I took that as him not wanting to talk about it. He started walking again, and I tried not to think about the fact he would be on the market again. The man was clearly devastated by the divorce, and I wondered if the split had been due to something he’d done? They say it takes two to make a marriage work, so I should stay away from jumping to any conclusions. By the time I’d worked my way through all of that we’d reached the parking area, and he stopped by the brand new BMW X1. “Wow, is this the car from your post? The one you drove up here in?”
“Yeah,” I said, sucked in by his wide grin. He looked so happy compared to a moment ago, and I loved it.
“I saw it on your channel.” He patted the hood. “Guess social media pays well.” I searched for a sign he was hating on me, but actually he was smiling again, and all I could think was that I was thankful to see that smile return.
I was desperate to press my fingers to that grin, even more so now that I knew he was free. I shouldn’t feel happy. It was wrong. I should have compassion, but my stupid brain was stuck on him being alone. Stupidly happy, like a kid filled with the expectation of Christmas. So happy it drowned out the terror of being on the show.
I cleared my throat as he patted the hood. “I don’t actually own the car, but the dealership endorses me, so they arranged for me to pick it up in Calgary to drive here in exchange for some posts along the way.”
Brody turned to me and then leaned against the car, striking a pose. “Take a selfie then and make sure you get the decal in. We can kill two birds with one stone. You get a post with the car, and I get to gloat to my petrol-head brother, who will be green to see me next to one of these beauties.”
I could do that. It would actually be a good thing. Another contestant, the car, the snow, the Fairmont Banff Springs Hotel behind, only I would have to be in the photo as well.
“How about a short video?”
He looked uncertain for a moment then pulled his shoulders back and nodded.
I stood next to him, and he leaned into me, in proper selfie-mode. I counted us in then pressed record.
“Hi, Mallys! Day one and guess who I found next to my car? Only Brody from season four. Say hi, Brody.”
Brody not only said hi, but he added an extra wave, and immediately the hearts began to climb the screen. I turned it back to me, making sure to get the decal of the car and the hotel sign in the shot.
“Signing off for now, back to find my room. Later, Mallys!”
I ended the short video and pocketed my cell.
Brody was grinning ear to ear, the earlier mention of his former husband forgotten. He rambled on about his older brother, Joe, and how jealous Joe would be, and that took us all the way into the foyer of the Fairmont. We stopped by the elevators.
“So, I guess I’ll see you at three for the Christmas sweater thing? We have to be in makeup then I think.” He pulled a sheet of paper from his coat pocket and fumbled with it in his gloves. “Yeah, makeup at three, initial filming at five.”
“Cool, what are you going as?”
“A snowman. You?”
“Reindeer.”
He looked up at my hair and then back down to meet my gaze. “Antlers?”
“Obviously.” I smiled back, and then we were done with things to talk about. I had it in my head to ask him if he wanted a coffee, but it was too late because he started talking.
He pointed at the stairs. “I’m taking the stairs up to 217. You?”
“502,” I said, and we split up then, him taking the stairs and me using the elevator up to the suites on the top floor with views over Banff and up to the mountains.
Even as I stood in the beautiful room with its views and its large two man tub, I just knew one thing.
I wished I was in room 218.
The room right next to Brody.
I couldn’t get Brody out of my head even as I showered, but it wasn’t in a sexual way, it was pure jealousy that I had to fight. I’d watched every episode of Brody’s season at least four times, some scenes even more. I’d marveled at his dexterity with all things baked and watched the way he would push back his bangs and smile with his eyes. I also recalled big Marc though, the husband, pulling Brody into a hug and whirling him around when it was announced he was the winner. Then the family descending.
Brody wasn’t like me. He had a life, a family, a reason to get out of bed every day, and what was I?
I was the man who would have ripped apart any attraction and used every part of it to make more money. So why would he believe me when I was telling the truth?
I towel-dried my hair mindlessly as I stared at myself in the half fogged mirror, my reflection appearing as it slowly cleared. A therapist would have a field day in my head. Hell, some of them had, but I’d come this far, and there was no way to turn back. No way to get off the train that had me so close to financial security.
My financial security would lead to emotional stability and that meant I could be a part of real life.
Then no one could hurt me.
Chapter Five
My baking is fabulous, even the smoke alarm is cheering me on
Brody
Safely in my room I stripped off my coat, gloves, scarf, beanie, and boots then slumped into the chair in the corner. I’d made it very clear to Justin that I was getting divorced. I’d even thrown in the fact that I didn’t have a partner right now, although maybe I should add it to our next conversation and make it clearer.
He was just as sexy in person as he was online. Gorgeous with all that blond spiky hair and those startling blue eyes. I could fall into those eyes and never come out again. The times I stared at his photos, lost in thought, and wondered if maybe he was in a position like mine, on his own, ready to move on from something huge and wanting to kiss. Maybe end up in bed. Or both. Talking about what happened with Marc was enough to make my chest tighten, but I was here to forget about Marc, or as Adam said in his usual bossy-twin way that I should come to terms with my life.
Coming to terms with my life might sound dramatic, but I was free now. I would sign the papers, I had to. I didn’t want Marc back, so why was I even hesitating? I pulled them out and laid them one by one on the counter.
Two days ago, they’d arrived at my apartment that’s over the shop. He’d signed his part, and why wouldn’t he. I’d agreed to everything he asked, and it had left me poorer for it. He was something I could draw a line under. Finding out he was cheating on me wasn’t the hardest part, which went a long way to speaking about our relationship. He’d tried to talk to me, even suggested we give things another go if I would only be more amenable to an open relationship.
Fuck that noise.
It was the fact that my husband had put 3B at risk and hurt the relationship I had with my dad. My dad had been the one to explain just how much money had gone missing from his dealership. I hadn’t believed him and went on the defensive immediately. Of course, my husband couldn’t be the one stealing from family. He wouldn’t put my dad’s company in jeopardy. I had to trust him. I had to believe Marc, and in doing so my dad was left out in the cold. I’d refused to talk to Dad for weeks, and in that time my life had been miserable. We were a close family, and I was choosing Marc over them. I’d ended up ashamed that I’d let Marc into my life and let him destroy everything. Dad and I were okay now, but there was an indelible mark left by what I’d done.