I told myself that when I got friends, we wouldn’t be mean like they were.
No one bothered me when I sat outside. It was almost nice. My sandwich was good.
SOMETIMES I walked in the woods. Things were clearer there.
The trees swayed in the breeze. Birds told me stories.
They didn’t judge me.
One day, I picked up a stick and pretended it was a sword.
I hopped over a creek, but it was too wide and my feet got wet.
I lay on my back and looked at the sky through the trees while waiting for my socks to dry.
I dug my toes into the dirt.
A dragonfly landed on a rock near my head. It was green and blue. Its wings had blue veins. Its eyes were shiny and black. It flew away, and I wondered how long it would live.
Something moved off to my right. I looked over and heard a growl. I thought I should run, but I couldn’t make my feet work. Or my hands. I didn’t want to leave my socks behind.
So instead, I said, “Hello.”
There was no response, but I knew something was there.
“I’m Ox. It’s okay.”
A huff of air. Like a sigh.
I told it that I liked the woods.
There was a flash of black, but then it was gone.
When I got home, I had leaves in my hair and there was a car parked in front of the empty house at the end of the lane.
It was gone the next day.
THAT WINTER, I left school and went to the diner. I was on break for Christmas. Three weeks of nothing but the shop ahead, and I was happy.
It started snowing again by the time I opened the door to Oasis. The bell rang out overhead. An inflatable palm tree was near the door. A papier-mâché sun hung from the ceiling. Four people sat at the counter drinking coffee. It smelled like grease. I loved it.
A waitress named Jenny snapped her gum and smiled at me. She was two grades above me. Sometimes, she smiled at me at school too. “Hey, Ox,” she said.
“Hi.”
“Cold out?”
I shrugged.
“Your nose is red,” she said.
“Oh.”
She laughed. “You hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“Sit down. I’ll get you some coffee and tell your mom you’re here.”
I did, at my booth near the back. It wasn’t really my booth, but everyone knew it was.
“Maggie!” Jenny said back into the kitchen. “Ox is here.” She winked at me as she took a plate of eggs and toast to Mr. Marsh, who flirted with a sly smile, even though he was eighty-four. Jenny giggled at him, and he ate his eggs. He put ketchup on them. I thought that was odd.
“Hey,” Mom said, putting coffee down in front of me.
“Hi.”
She ran her fingers through my hair, brushing off flecks of snow. They melted on my shoulders. “Tests go okay?”
“Think so.”
“We study enough?”
“Maybe. I forgot who Stonewall Jackson was, though.”
She sighed. “Ox.”
“It’s okay,” I told her. “I got the rest.”
“You promise?”
“Yes.”
And she believed me because I didn’t lie. “Hungry?”
“Yeah. Can I have—”
The bell rang overhead. And a man walked in. He seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t think of where I’d seen him before. He was Gordo’s age and strong. And big. He had a full, light-colored beard. He brushed a hand over his shaved head. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He let it out slowly. He opened his eyes and I swear they flashed. But all I saw was blue again.
“Give me a second, Ox,” Mom said. She went to talk to the man and I did my best to look away. He was a stranger, yes, but there was something else. I thought on it as I took a sip from my coffee.
He sat at the booth next to mine. We faced each other. He smiled briefly at me. It was a nice smile, bright and toothy. Mom handed him a menu and told him she’d be back. I could already see Jenny peeking out from the kitchen, watching the man. She pushed her boobs up, ran her fingers through her hair, and grabbed the coffeepot. “I got this one,” she muttered. Mom rolled her eyes.
She was charming. The man smiled at her politely. She touched his hand, just a slight scrape of her fingernails. He ordered soup. She laughed. He asked for cream and sugar for his coffee. She said her name was Jenny. He said he would like another napkin. She left the table looking slightly disappointed.
“Meal and a show,” I muttered. The man grinned at me like he’d heard.
“Figure out what you want, kiddo?” Mom asked as she came back to the table.
“Burger.”
“You got it, handsome.”
I smiled because I adored her.
The man looked at my mom as she walked away. His nostrils flared. Looked back at me. Cocked his head. Nostrils flared again. Like he was… sniffing? Smelling?
I copied him and sniffed the air. It smelled the same to me. Like it always did.
The man laughed and shook his head. “It’s nothing bad,” he said. His voice was deep and kind. Those teeth flashed again.
“That’s good,” I said.
“I’m Mark.”
“Ox.”
An eyebrow went up. “That so?”
“Oxnard.” I shrugged. “Everyone calls me Ox.”
“Ox,” he said. “Strong name.”
“Strong like an ox?” I suggested.
He laughed. “Heard that a lot?”
“I guess.”
He looked out the window. “I like it here.” So much more was said in those words, but I couldn’t even come close to grasping any of it.
“Me too. Mom said people don’t stay here.”
He said, “You’re here,” and it felt profound.
“I am.”
“That your mom?” He nodded toward the kitchen.
“Yeah.”
“She’s here, then. Maybe they don’t always stay here, but some do.” He looked down at his hands. “And maybe they can come back.”
“Like going home?” I asked.
That smile came back. “Yes, Ox. Like going home. That’s… it smells like that here. Home.”
“I smell bacon,” I said sheepishly.
Mark laughed. “I know you do. There’s a house. In the woods. Down off McCarthy. It’s empty now.”
“I know that house! I live right near it.”
He nodded. “I thought you might. It explains why you sme—”
Jenny came back. Brought him his soup. He was polite again, nothing more. Not like he’d been with me.
I opened my mouth to ask him something (anything) when my mom came back out. “Let him eat,” she scolded me as she placed the plate in front of me. “It’s not nice to interrupt someone’s dinner.”
“But I—”
“He’s okay,” Mark said. “I was the one being intrusive.”
Mom looked wary. “If you say so.”
Mark nodded and ate his soup.
“You stay here until I’m off,” Mom told me. “I don’t want you walking home in this. It’s only until six. Maybe we can watch a movie when we get home?”