I rested a hand on Zav’s chest. “How about we save it for tonight?”
My phone buzzed, and I held up a finger to check it. “It’s my boss. I have to take this.”
Looking a touch petulant, Zav leaned back in his seat. He glared out the window, as if looking for more dead trees to light on fire.
“Hey, Willard,” I answered, a little breathless from the kissing.
Hopefully, she wouldn’t notice.
Zav’s eyes were boring into the side of my head, and I had a feeling he was contemplating incinerating my phone. I reached over and rubbed his thigh through his robe, hoping a little fondling would mellow him out.
“How about sending an update after you finish a mission, Thorvald?” came Willard’s Southern drawl. “I prefer to hear how it went from you, not the irritated farmer who’s pissed because you said he couldn’t harvest his berries and also left a giant decapitated bird on his front stoop.”
She also sounded like she was in the mood to incinerate things. Everyone was grumpy today. It had to be the rain.
“There are dead animals all over his property,” I said. “I fail to see how one more bird matters.”
“The size is the problem. He can’t drag it to his fire to burn.”
“He’s a farmer. He should have a tractor with some attachments. Look, it’s been a rough day.” I explained the artifact, my sword situation, and the fact that I’d been further delayed picking up alchemy supplies for the needy vampire living in the basement. Not to mention Dimitri’s fudge.
“He can’t get his own supplies?” Willard asked.
“I don’t think vampires like going to the beach. Even if the Washington coast isn’t known for its blazing sun, it does peek through the clouds from time to time.” I picked up the keys—they’d tumbled to the floor during our hanky-panky—and stuck them in the ignition. It would be dark soon, and even with my mighty dragon warrior to fend off bad guys, I would rather not deal with attacks at night. “I did complete the mission, which was only to get rid of the artifact problem, as I recall. There was nothing about helping the client dispose of corpses. Nor professionally remediating tainted water—you may want to send someone out to check on that. Are you going to pay me?”
“Yeah, yeah. Prepare a thorough report when you get back, send it over, and I’ll round up your funds and meet you at the usual spot at eight tomorrow morning.”
“The Starbucks Reserve Roastery? Don’t you want to support a local, independent coffee shop?”
“I’ve been to your place. It’s full of goblins, and it’s weird.”
“You have a goblin secretary. How can you object to their kind?”
“I object to them en masse and amped up on caffeine. The last time I went, they were launching dice across the room with a trebuchet.”
“That’s for their board game. A roll doesn’t count unless the dice bounce off at least two walls.”
“One landed in my cup.”
“I’m not sure how that affects the rules. Look, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee if you come to our shop.” It was a much closer drive than the Starbucks on Pike. If I was ambitious, and the rain stopped, I could walk. “You’ve had the goblin blend before and said it was good.”
She grunted. “It’s all right.”
All right? When I’d brought her a thermos of it to sample that summer, she’d slurped half of it down in a minute flat.
“I’ll buy you two cups,” I said.
“Deal.”
“You’re cheap, Willard.” I was a partial owner. I wasn’t supposed to have to support my own local business.
“Don’t make me dock you for leaving a bird corpse on the client’s doorstep.”
“Ha ha.”
I started to hang up, but she added, “Are you going to be all right with werewolves and rocs and who knows what else coming to try to steal your sword? Do you want me to send a couple of men to your house to help?”
“Zav just got back to Earth. He’s a good werewolf deterrent.”
“I deter all lesser species who seek to molest my mate,” Zav stated. “She is mine and not to be harmed. We will copulate soon.”
My head thunked against the back of the seat when I rolled my eyes.
“I guess that explains why you were breathless,” Willard said. “Meet you at eight.”
She hung up before I could retort. Rude.
4
My elven half-sister Freysha was sitting on the covered steps leading to the front porch of my Victorian house when I parked in the street out front. Night had fallen, it was still raining, and a chilly wind rattled the branches of the trees bordering the lawn. There was no reason for her to be sitting outside… unless she’d sensed my sword from halfway across the state and was worried about me.
“Val.” Freysha sprang to her feet, her overalls clanking from gardening tools in the pockets. “What happened to your sword? I’ve been sensing its magic for hours.”
“I was afraid of that.”
Zav strode through the rain at my side, taking my hand and leading me to the steps. “Val and I will mate before she answers questions.”
Freysha’s lips parted, but she didn’t seem to know what to say.
“My dragon returned to Earth horny.” I pulled the artifact shard out of my pocket and handed it to Freysha. “Will you examine that and see if you can figure out anything more than that it’s fae? And that it might have been stuck in a bog to poison the water for an unknown reason?”
Freysha turned it over in her hand. “Fae magic has some similarities to elven magic, but I have not encountered their kind often and do not recognize the enchantment on this. I will see if any of Colonel Willard’s books have helpful entries. I still have them from when I researched your trinkets.” She tilted her head, blonde hair falling away from one pointed ear. “Poisoning the water? Are you certain that was the intended result? The fae can be tricksters and are sometimes cruel to the other races, but they are not known to treat nature poorly.”
“I’m not certain of anything, not even that fae were the ones who planted it. Sindari spotted a fairy mushroom ring with some old tracks, so it’s as good a guess as any, but…” I shrugged. Now that the artifact was destroyed, I wouldn’t normally care who had placed it, but I might have to solve that mystery before I could figure out how to make my sword stop pulsing magic.
“I will study it.” Freysha looked at Zav. “In the kitchen downstairs. I will make sure not to go up to the second floor where my presence might disturb you, Lord Zavryd.”
“Our rooms aren’t that close,” I said. “You don’t need to stay away.”
“In the kitchen,” Freysha said diffidently and politely, “I will also not be disturbed by you.”
“Ah.” I pretended my cheeks didn’t heat a few degrees as Zav tugged me into the house. “Show Zoltan the shard, too, when he gets back, will you?” I didn’t sense his aura down in the basement and pretended he was off networking with business associates rather than drinking some neighbor’s blood. “He may have some ideas. Oh, and tell him that his plants are in the back of my Jeep. So is Dimitri’s fudge.”