Blown by the wind, the napkins slide across the tabletop before Olivia scoops them up and tucks them in a holder.
Sunk in thought, I muse over her words. I have no idea what she’s talking about.
The kind of men I know are obsessed with their phones and spend hours watching porn and playing games.
“I’m safe,” I deadpan, eyeing the mound of macaroons before picking a chocolate one from the top.
“Are you sure you don’t want coffee?” she asks, gesturing to her drink.
I shake my head.
“Frankie will be here soon. We go out to eat. Maybe later.”
“All right.”
I slowly chew on the treat, enjoying the delightful flavor of dark chocolate and crunchy hazelnuts.
“I didn’t say you aren’t safe,” she says, shifting her focus to our topic.
“Most guys I know aren't like that.”
She takes a sip and places the cup down.
“That’s mostly because you’ve dealt with boys. ”
“Some are no longer boys,” I argue.
She smiles.
“Have you liked or needed any of them?”
Her beautifully drawn eyebrows arch slowly.
I shrug.
“No. Honestly, I never thought about them. I don’t feel either way about them.”
She gestures with her index finger.
“See... I wasn’t talking about them. I’m talking about the men brought into your life by fate. Those are the ones that change your life.”
I weigh her words for a second.
“I don’t know... I’d like to believe you, but I think that you’re just stressed out because you leave the country, and I’ll be on my own all these weeks.”
A grin tugs at her lips.
“I may be, but this is not a matter of trust. I trust you. It’s just that you don’t know much about what’s out there.”
I grin self-assuredly.
“Nothing will happen to me. Trust me,”
She brings her drink to her lips again, watching me from above the rim of her cup.
“You’ve sworn celibacy?” she mutters, irony flashing through her tone.
A pang of heat tinges my cheeks, prompting me to look at the platter and scoop up another treat to avoid her scrutiny.
It’s a known fact that I didn’t want to deal with boys-related problems as I went through my teenage years.
Frankie did it.
It was fun and painful and left scars on her and me–– ironically.
Every time some hotshot broke her heart, I've sworn I’d never go through that. I knew everybody goes through that at one point or another, but I hoped I could avoid it.
Pain didn’t scare me. It just didn’t make much sense to me.
They say the girls are more mature than the boys. Maybe they are, or maybe the boys don’t want to mature. They learn to hide their immaturity a little better.
Whatever it was, I didn’t want it.
Everybody insisted that I should go out and meet boys. Frankie said it would be fun–– it wasn’t for her, so her argument didn’t convince me.
Olivia said I needed to get some life experience.
I got experience anyway, by picking up the pieces when Frankie got her heart crushed.
For the most part, I refused to think about it, and maybe that’s why I’ve never met the men Olivia refers to right now.
“I haven’t sworn celibacy,” I retort.
It’s true, but it’s taken out of context.
You don’t need to swear celibacy when there are no men in your life.
Male friends? Yes. I’ve had that occasionally.
Men who sweet-talked me into taking my panties off? No.
It didn’t work for me. I couldn’t buy their shit.
Everything was fake. They knew it, and I knew it. I didn’t want that in my life.
Olivia’s stare makes me uncomfortable, so I lift my eyes and hold her gaze.
It’s difficult to fool her.
She knows I’m lying to myself.
“I want you to be safe. That’s why I’m telling you all this.”
Her eyes soften, the corners crinkling with a smile.
“There are things in life that no one can avoid. Men are one of them,” she says.
A nervous laugh travels up my throat.
“What makes you think it will happen to me while you're gone?” I toss at her, smiling. “You think I’ll find a hottie at the beach, fall in love, and get married by the time you and Sasha return?”
The humor de-tenses the atmosphere, making us both laugh.
She shakes her head.
“That’s not what I had in mind.”
“What, then?”
She flicks her shoulders.
“I don’t know. I’ll be far away, and these things can happen in a split second. They take over your life when you’ve been warned, let alone when you haven’t.”
“What things?”
She centers her gaze on me, her eyes colored by melancholy.
“You meet someone. They sweep you off your feet. You don’t even realize it, and your life is changed forever.”
I jerk my hand up.
“Do you honestly believe I can lose my head over someone?”
“I hope not.”
Cocking my head to the side, I toss her a questioning look.
She sighs.
“No. I don’t,” she admits before moving her eyes away from me and filling a glass with icy water from the carafe.
She takes a few sips.
“All I’m saying is... You deserve a man who gives you everything. Do you know what I mean?”
Her eyes find mine.
I tip my chin down.
“I do, but you have nothing to fear. A lot has to happen before I fall for that man and lose my head over him.”
2
LUNA RAE
“It’s never happened to you,” I say, using my all-time favorite argument when her phone begins to play an upbeat song, alerting her to a call.
Olivia’s index finger goes up.
“Give me a moment...” she says to me. “Hi, Sasha. Yes. I’m ready, darling... Mm-hmm. The car will be here in, uh... Twenty minutes or so? What?”
Her smile broadens.
“Yes. I’m excited too.”
She listens to her friend, her eyes moving to me.
“I’m talking to Luna right now.”
A few moments of silence tick by as Sasha relays something to her before they share a peal of laughter.
“I’m trying. You know me... Okay. All right. I’m here, waiting for you.”
She sets her phone down.
“I can’t believe you told her that we’d have the ‘talk’.”
She gestures in negation before snatching a soft pretzel from the plate and breaking it into small bits.
One goes into her mouth.
“She knows I wanted to talk to you about this for a while. I don’t know why I felt that this was the right moment to bring it up,” she says, chewing thoughtfully.
Her expression changes before she pops another one into her mouth.
“I don’t want anything bad to happen to you,” she mutters, lifting a melancholic gaze to me.
“Why do you keep saying that?”
“I don’t know. It’s just a feeling.”