Home > Watch Over Me(6)

Watch Over Me(6)
Author: Nina LaCour

   We held each other’s gaze for so long that I knew it must have meant something. Finally, he nodded, brought his hands back to the table. I looked at the ruled paper, his painstaking numbers, the little blacked-in squares of wrongness.

   “Okay,” I said. “Let me see. It’s been a long time since I’ve done this.”

   I asked him to walk me through the problem, at first because I needed to remember the steps of long division but then because I realized it was a good method, to have him explain it to me. I caught his mistake a step before he got there, and then when he reached that point in the problem, he hesitated and I smiled.

   “Oh,” he said. “It should be seven.”

   “Yes. Now keep going. Let’s see what you get.”

   “Seventeen-point-five,” he said. “I’m pretty sure . . .” He turned to the back of the book and showed me.

   “You got it!”

   “Yay!”

   “Should we start the next one?”

   He found the problem and wrote it in his notebook, taking time to make every number perfect. If it was a one, instead of drawing a straight line he included the angle at the top and the line at the bottom. Sevens, he crossed. He added tiny tails to the ends of his twos.

   At the far end of the schoolhouse, a child began to cry. I turned and there was Billy crouched between two of the little ones, reminding them to take turns with the blocks. I glanced at Liz, who was leading a workshop with her high school students; each of them was reading an essay, scrawling comments in their margins. I felt the twoness of Lee and me. The only pair. I was all he had, so I’d need to do my best. I looked at the notebook again to see his progress but found none had been made. He was turned to the window, fear plain on his face.

   I followed his gaze but all I saw was a foggy sky with a bright spot where the sun broke through. A tangle of colorful flowers. Two red birds darting and falling and rising again.

   But when I turned back I saw that his eyes were unfocused. His face had lost its color; he was gritting his teeth.

   “Lee,” I said. “What is it?”

   He didn’t answer me. I couldn’t tell if he’d even heard what I’d said.

   “Lee,” I said louder. I looked behind me, but all the others were focused on themselves. It was just Lee and me, and I had to get him through whatever this was. Gently, I placed my hand on his shoulder and he startled, turned to me.

   “What did you see out there?” I asked him, making sure my voice was soft, making sure I seemed purely good and calm and concerned, that I was the kind of person he would want to be there with him as he went through whatever it was he was enduring.

   “Was it a ghost?” I asked.

   “No,” he said. “The ghosts only come out when it’s dark.”

 

* * *

 

   ___

   Julia entered the schoolhouse at three o’clock to ring a brass bell.

   “Lessons are finished for the day,” she said when the chime faded, and across the schoolroom chairs were pushed out, books were shut and stacked, paper and pencils were put away. The little ones lined up. Lee was up and out of his chair, placing his supplies in the cabinet. Everyone but me knew what to do.

   “Mila, come walk with me,” Julia said, and I was relieved to be called away. She led me down the gravel road toward the highway. The two goats chewed grass.

   “They’re stubborn little creatures,” Julia said. “And strong, too. The white one’s Annabelle; she’ll tolerate petting. Percy is the brown fellow and he’s got a mean streak. Now I’ve warned you.”

   “They’re very cute.”

   “They are,” she said. “And they serve their purpose well.”

   “Which is?”

   “Eating the dry grasses. Keeping away the brush.” She opened the gate. “We keep this closed so that they don’t run off.”

   “Nick told me.”

   “Good old Nick. Of course he did. I thought I’d take you to the ocean so you know the best route.”

   “I didn’t realize we could walk.”

   “We’re very close. The trail isn’t marked, though, so you need to know where you’re headed.”

   We followed the rest of the path out to the highway, and Julia pointed out the trees and shrubs and taught me their names. “The little ones can remind you if you forget. Quiz them. It’s part of the curriculum we developed for the preschool. People need to know where they fit in in the world. The first part of that relies on understanding what’s around them. So we give them the language and let them explore. The intern we had before Billy didn’t care much for nature, so we were glad when we found Billy last year. He spent a lot of time camping before his parents died. They were real adventurers—rock-climbing expeditions, backpacking trips—they taught him so much about nature that we barely had to fill him in on anything.”

   We reached the highway. “Cars come by very fast,” she said. “So, when you’re walking with the children be sure to take their hands and go quickly. One moment there can be no sign of a car and then, before you know it, one is coming right at you.” We crossed and walked for no more than a couple minutes before the path ended and the rocks dropped straight off.

   We were standing at the edge of a bluff, looking down at the ocean. I felt my knees go weak and it surprised me. I hadn’t known there were new fears to discover.

   She must have noticed how I felt, because she linked her arm through mine. Her thick wool sleeve made my cheap cotton sweater seem inadequate. I told her so, and she said, “We have lots of extra clothes in the house. Try the upstairs closets when you need anything. We have shoes in all sizes and jackets and sweaters and scarves and hats and other accessories. Also board games, supplies for bird-watching and foraging. Even some old posters and framed artwork if you want to decorate your cabin. Really, anything you can think of. Now, let’s head down.”

   We walked along the bluff until it met a trail that was partially obscured by an ancient madrone tree, and there we began the descent. It was steep and rocky, but before long we were on the sand. Seagulls flew overhead. In the distance, a few people surfed.

   “Do you swim?”

   “Yes,” I said. “I mean, I know how to swim if that’s what you’re asking.”

   “Do you do it well?”

   “Not really. Just in pools, mostly. When I was a kid. My friend Hayley’s family had one.”

   “This is what you need to know about the Pacific. One, it’s freezing so you’ll need a wet suit. We have them along with everything else in the upstairs closets. If you’re going to do it, come with Terry or me. Or with Billy and Liz—they’re both strong swimmers. There’s a serious current here, so don’t ever swim when the tide’s coming in or going out. If you do happen to get caught in a riptide, though, what you’ll do is this: Relax into it. Let it take you out. As long as you don’t struggle, it will send you right back to shore. Understand?”

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