The kissing…
Slurping and smacking.
My blood pressure spikes, sending a surge of anger blazing through my system. Cal is talking, but I’m fixated on the way Liv cracks her knuckles.
Snap. Snap. Snap.
I want to snap her.
My fingers find the hem of my shirt, seeking out the tag just inside. I rub the tag with my finger and thumb, letting the soothing sensation calm and distract me. After seconds of the motion that has saved me on more than one occasion, Cal’s voice cuts through the disgusted haze swirling around me.
“…and that being said, I’m happy to introduce you to your new coach. That is if you make the cut. T, buddy, take it from here.” He clasps Terrence’s shoulder. “Show ’em who’s the boss.”
I shoot Tierra a confused look. Her brows are furled, clearly not in the loop either.
Terrence clears his throat and drags his gaze along the girls standing in front of him. His left eye is drooping more than usual, which means he’s tired. I notice it happens when he’s overwhelmed. I notice everything.
“Your old coach isn’t coming back,” Terrence states. “Just because you were on the team last year doesn’t mean you’ll be on it again this year. I expect all of you to get out there and impress me. I may have had my head bashed in, but I know who sucks and who doesn’t. Now’s your chance to prove you’re one of the ones who don’t suck.” His eyes—even the droopy one—lock on me. “And I don’t play favorites.” This time, his eyes flick over to Tierra.
“Puhleeease,” she mutters under her breath to me. “He’s gonna think he’s God of Hood River now.”
I let out a snort that has both Cal and Terrence looking my way. Liv has switched from cracking her knuckles to running her fingernail over the ball in her hands. It makes an annoying fuzzy scraping sound.
“Are we going to sit around talking like it’s teatime with the Queen of England or are we gonna shoot some hoops, ugly?” I ask, unable to keep my lip from curling up from the incessant scraping Liv is doing. “I’m bored to death.”
Cal rolls his eyes, but Terrence’s jaw tightens.
“Everyone grab a ball,” Terrence grinds out. “I want half of you on one end of the court and the other half at the other end. We’re going to do some full court dribbling and finishing. I need to see if you can make any uncontested layups.”
I push away from the excited chatter of the girls to grab the nearest ball. As soon as I’m dribbling and other players fall into line behind me, the jitter inside me fades as a calm settles over me. I’m focused as I start a line at one end. Tierra follows after me. She’s the layup queen whereas I’m the one who can essentially make a shot from anywhere. We’ve been practicing together for months, gearing up for tryouts, and I’ve already learned she and I will play well together.
No if…when.
We’ll both make the team easily.
It’s girls like Ericka and Cat who need to watch it. They’re sloppy and lazy when it comes to ball handling. Sure, they’re aggressive and good at stealing the ball, but they tend to lose possession of the ball easier than most.
Cal whistles again, making me cringe. “Go!”
I dribble at full speed, driving the ball down the court, the thumping of the balls keeping me focused. In no time at all, I’ve shot a layup that I make and rebound the ball before getting in the opposite line I came from. We run through a few rounds of this before Terrence is telling us what we’re to do next.
Over and over, he runs us through drills as he carefully assesses our skills. I know I have it in the bag based on the way his eyes keep flickering my way. He sees how good I am. It’s hard to miss.
“Last drill. This one is a little different,” Terrence says. “Three on two. Full court. No dribble.”
No dribble?
I tense up as everyone holds their balls, waiting for Terrence to separate us into groups. Of course he pairs me with Liv and not Tierra like I want.
“The purpose of this drill is to see if you can pass the ball, pivot, and make good decisions,” Terrence explains. “You two,” he says, pointing to Ericka and a girl named Vera. “I want you with Tierra playing defense.”
Cal whistles again, making me shudder. “And go!”
Tierra is up in my face, trying to slap at my ball. I pivot left and then right. Then right again, waiting for Liv to open up. Ericka and Vera are on her ass. I want to dribble away, but I can’t.
“Gonna stand there all day, English?” Terrence barks out. “Pass the ball.”
But she’s not open.
I fake like I’m going to bounce pass, even though Liv isn’t open. The second Tierra darts that way, I wait for Liv to open up. Nothing. Fuck this.
Launching the ball, I shoot for the basket near the three-point line, waiting for that soothing swoosh. As soon as it slips through the net, I smirk at Tierra.
“Nope,” Terrence snaps, popping the P to make an obnoxious sound. “Start from the top. I didn’t say shi—nothing about shooting.”
Irritation burns in my gut, but I don’t let it bother me outwardly. I take the ball Tierra tosses back at me. My girl is all in my face the second Cal whistles again. I’m rattled by the screeching sound that seems to bounce around inside my skull.
This is stupid.
It’s basketball.
We should be able to dribble. It feels unnatural not to.
Tierra’s breathing is loud and labored, the sound crawling under my skin like ants. It has anger surging up inside me, chasing away the festering sensation. I try to focus on Liv giving me an opening, but Tierra won’t stop fucking breathing.
How did I never notice her breathing before?
Because the ball grounds me.
And I can’t fucking ground myself.
I pivot, shoving my elbow at Tierra, knocking the breath right out of her. Liv still isn’t open, pissing me off. Terrence yells at me, distracting the other two girls. I chest pass the ball hard, right at Liv. The ball smacks her in her stupid boobs and she lands hard on her ass.
Oops.
“Bench, English,” Terrence snarls, his looming presence now inches from touching me. “Now.”
His eye doesn’t seem so droopy now since the other one is narrowed, both brown eyes blazing with fury.
“What the hell did I do?” I gripe. “She should have been paying attention!”
“Go.” He cracks his neck, the popping of his bones setting me off.
I shove past him, storming over to the bleachers, focusing on the slapping of my shoes on the gym floor. Walking right over to my bag, I yank out my phone and AirPods. Ignoring everyone, I stick to my task.
Drown it all out.
I turn on Spotify and find my white noise playlist. The even hissing sound squelches all the rage and disgust burning inside of me. I close my eyes and try my damnedest to decompress.
Don’t breathe.
Don’t move.
Find your center, Penny.
I remain seated, eyes clamped shut, thinking of nothing but the silent way snow falls late at night. Cold and refreshing. Blissfully quiet. Peaceful. It isn’t until someone plucks an AirPod out of my ear and all the maddening sounds assault me again that I’m brought back to reality. I glower at the offender.