"That's not true," I say. "You have the world, you have adventure. You have your Navy career and a whole future, the one you’ve wanted since you were a kid.”
“Maybe. But what's the point of any of that," he asks, "if I don't have you?"
"You want me?" I ask.
"How could I not?" he asks. "You've always been my boo."
"But Noah," I push back. "You're leaving again soon, and I'm getting a job here when I graduate."
"And I'm not going anywhere," he tells me.
"What do you mean?" I ask. "What do you mean, you're not going anywhere? If you make an irreversible decision because of me, I'll never be able to live with myself," I tell him. "Don't let your dream die because of a girl."
"That's the thing though, Lucy. You're not just a girl. You're the girl. And besides, it’s all decided. I'm not going anywhere."
I shake my head. It's too much. "No," I say. "I don't believe you."
"You think I'd lie about this? No, Lucy, I'm staying put, I have to."
"Why do you have to?" I ask.
"How else am I going to win you over?" he asks. "How else am I going to make you see me the way I already see you?"
"Stop it," I say. "That's not how it's going down at all."
"What do you mean?" he asks. His eyes darken. "You don't think you could love me the way I love you?"
"Love?” I ask. "You love me because I meet the criteria of a checklist?"
He nods. "You're the reason there is a checklist."
"You're such an idiot," I tell him. "I've loved you since we were eight years old. I've been waiting for you to see me."
"I see you," he says.
"Even if I'm a ghost?” I ask.
"You were never a ghost," he pushes, letting go of my wrist. Tucking my hair behind my ear and looking deep into my eyes. "I've seen you all this time. I was just scared."
"I was scared too," I tell him.
"You don't have to be scared now," he says, pulling me against his chest.
And even though it’s supposed to be the scariest night of the year, right now, with Noah’s arms around me, I only feel safe.
Chapter Seven
Noah
Maybe it was always supposed to happen just like this. Lucy and me in the tree house on Halloween night.
The sky is full of stars. The night hushed and quiet. Costumes and candy. Both of us dressed as ghosts, ready to stop hiding who we truly are, what we truly want. One another.
"I love you, Lucy," I tell her. Her eyes are bright, her tears wiped away, and I press my lips to hers for our very first kiss.
She kisses me back tenderly, with devotion, and it fucking makes me want to be the man she needs, not just the man she wants. I wrap my arms around her, making a vow to myself to never let her down. Lucy is not the kind of girl I want to disappoint. I want to make her happy, whole, satisfied.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” I tell her between kisses, my lips pressed to her mouth. The kiss intensifies, and I ache for her. Our lips part and her tongue finds mine and, God, my cock is hard. I want her more than I want anything else.
She runs her fingers through my hair. "I want you, Noah," she says as she wraps her arms around me.
I hold her close, tight, her breasts pressed to my chest, and though we've hugged a hundred times, one thousand times — more — this is different, electric.
"I'm such a fool," I say.
Her eyes are closed. Her nose brushes against mine. "I'm scared I won't be enough for you. You've had so many…”
I shake my head. "The past is the past. Maybe the future can just be ours."
She nods. "I'd like that."
"Good," I tell her, "because I'm not fucking letting you go."
She kisses me again, then her eyes meet mine. "Noah, I don't want to lose what we have."
"We won't," I say. I lace my fingers with hers, a foreign gesture that feels familiar because she is familiar. She is closer than family — my dearest friend, and I love her.
She kisses me hard, as if she can't get enough. And I like this side of her. She teases my lips with hers. Her hand presses to my chest.
"Should we go back to the party?" she asks.
I shake my head. "No, this is the only place I want to be tonight.”
"I was hoping you'd say that."
We sit there for a long time, staring into one another's eyes. I want to take this further and I think she does too.
“I don’t want to move faster than you are ready for,” I tell her, brushing my knuckles across her cheek.
“I’m ready for this,” she tells me softly. “We’ve waited long enough, don’t you think?”
“I know you’re a virgin,” I say, the tree house so quiet you could hear a pin drop.
“I know that you’re not.”
I hate that part of my past, that I’ve slept around carelessly, wanting to feel whole. I’ve always been missing something, and was looking for it in all the wrong places.
“Will you forgive me my past?” I ask her, wanting to know she can see herself with me.
“I already have,” she says, then she pulls off her sweater, and she is kneeling before me in her hot pink bra, dotted with devil horns, and I laugh, loud.
“Fuck, Lucy, you are perfect.”
“Shush,” she says as I toss my shirt off. Her hands run over my muscles and she bites her bottom lip. “You are the one who is perfection.”
I grin. “Really, you like me for more than my personality?”
She laughs softly. “Shut up. You know you’re the hottest guy in this town.”
“Just this town?” I laugh. “Shit, I need to step up my game.” I decide to take control of the night. And I pull Lucy close to me, my hands on her hips.
"Fuck, I want you,” I tell her, and her eyes close, her head falls back, her pink hair brushing my fingertips.
"Tell me more,” she says with a laugh. But it's more than just a laugh. It's a wish. A desire. She needs to know how sexy I think she is. How goddamn gorgeous I find her.
"I think your body is perfection. I think, when you wear those tight sweaters and those short skirts, you look like a dirty schoolgirl. And I think you know it, how good you look. And your tits? Perfect,” I say, massaging them, reaching behind her body and unhooking her bra, dropping it to the floor.
My cock aches as I take her in. "God, you're good,” I tell her.
She licks her lips and her tongue is pink, and fuck, she's beautiful. “Really?" she asks, and I understand her apprehension, her nerves. Because this is all new for her, and I want to make it special. I want to make her feel like the queen she is.
"They're so fucking perfect," I say as I lower my mouth to her nipples, twirling my tongue over them, and she whimpers softly as I do. I've never seen this side of Lucy, so damn vulnerable. She puts on a brave face, always has. She lost so much when she was young, but she's kept her heart locked up, letting me in, but hardly anyone else.