Noah
The moment she steps into the dressing room, I groan. Fuck, how am I supposed to get from the best friend zone to the you're the love of my life zone?
It's so much easier in the movies.
In real life I can't lose what I have, and that's Lucy. The one person who understands me, who gets me. Doesn’t judge me.
She slept in a sleeping bag at my house every year for her birthday since she was eight. We built a tree house in my backyard, where we held clubhouse meetings, even though we never knew what the club was. We just knew that if we brought a box of Hostess cupcakes and juice boxes with us, after an entire afternoon of playing checkers the world would make sense again. It eased the pain of her losing her parents and my parents getting a divorce.
Those afternoons when we were together, it was like we were rulers of our own little universe. And that was enough; more than enough. It was everything.
I love this girl and I need her to know it because if I don't man up and tell her the truth, I'm scared I'll lose her forever to a guy like Sammy Hammy. A guy who doesn't understand the complicated intricacies of Lucy Calloway's heart, because it is complicated. Don't let the pink sweater confuse you, she's got a dark heart, that girl — the skulls and crossbones are not just for show. She knows what it's like to love and lose, and I don't want her to lose anything else, especially not me, and that's what I'm about to tell her. I need to tell her. Now.
I'm preparing myself to lay it all out there, but then Lucy walks out of the dressing room looking like a goddamn vixen. And it’s over.
“No way,” I say. “You're not wearing that.”
She laughs, hands on her hips. “Oh, really? I'm not wearing this. I think I am wearing this, Noah, like literally right now.”
“Ha,” I say. “No, I mean it, you can't wear that to a Halloween party, especially not Jake's Halloween party.”
“Oh really? Why not? Are you wondering if when you leave again Sammy is gonna be my new best friend?”
“No, I just don't want Sammy or anybody else to see you in this.”
“God, Noah, why not? I think I look good.” She turns in a circle, looking in the floor-length mirror outside the dressing room. The nurse costume barely covers her ass and damn that's dangerous because her ass looks hella cute. Her bare legs are trouble and I see her toenails are painted bright pink. See? Cute as fuck, this girl. I shake my head. “Come on, you know how these guys are. They’re going to harass you and you hate stuff like that.”
She rolls her eyes. “I'll wear tights. No, actually, thigh-high stockings.”
“Ha-ha.” I say. “Not funny.”
“Since when are you the boss of me, Noah? I think I look good and maybe that's my problem. I think you’re right, Noah. Maybe I have been playing the role of Chewbacca for too long in my life and it's time for me to be Leia. And if you don't want to wear the doctor and nurse costume, we can go your route and you can be some Stormtrooper and I'll be Princess Leia. I'm sure they've got some leather bra thing here.”
“I'm sure they don't,” I say. “And no, you're not wearing a bra and you're not wearing...”
She smiles. “You're right, Noah...” She holds the zipper at the top of her cleavage between her forefinger and her thumb. “I'm not wearing a bra.”
My cock twitches. “Lucy, I mean it, you need to change.”
She groans dramatically. “Oh, God, Noah. You're so juvenile. I bet Natalia would wear this.”
I grimace, not wanting her to know the truth. Natalia would wear this, wants to wear this, in fact. I know because I've seen her in this exact costume, which is the reason we got in such a big damn fight which was the catalyst of our demise. Not that I wanted things to last with her anyways — I was looking for a reason to end things so I could start things with the girl I really loved. But her putting on a nurse costume was just the inciting incident. One look at Natalia in the costume and I knew being with her was wrong. I was in love with another nurse. In love with Lucy.
Lucy storms back into the dressing room. “The problem with you, Noah, is you think you're the boss, but you're not.”
“I don't think I'm the boss,” I say.
“You’re wrong,” she says. “You usually pick everything.”
“I'm really good at picking.”
“Are you? Is that what Natalia would say, or how about Betty, or how about all the other girls you've slept with in town?”
“Why are we talking about the girls I've slept with?” I ask through the curtain.
I hear Lucy changing and just the thought of her without her clothes on, just a curtain between us, has me hard. Fuck. I adjust myself and take a gulp of my coffee as Lucy's butt catches on the curtain, pushing it to the side, and I can see her in her bright pink thong, bending over to reach for her tights.
Fuck, she looks hot. And she wasn't lying, she's not wearing a bra. I can see those perfect tits of hers in the mirror. Her round breasts perky and perfect. When she stands with her tights in hand, her curves make me dazed and goddamn confused. Why am I waiting to pull the trigger when the girl of my dreams is literally right here? She checks off every fucking box on the list. Every last one. Hell, she is the checklist.
I pull the curtain closed and turn around. A moment later, she's out of the dressing room, holding the nurse costume in hand.
“I'm going as a nurse,” she says. “You can go as whatever you want.”
“You're really doing this?” I ask. “You're making a decision without me about our Halloween costumes?”
“Well, you made the decision last year not to come home for Halloween.”
“I didn't make that decision, Lucy, that was my commanding officer's decision and I had no choice. I was out to fucking sea, what did you want me to do?”
Her shoulders fall, the fight leaving her. “I’m sorry, you're right,” she says, shaking her head. “But if you don't like me being the sexy nurse, then you're going to have a real problem with my career choice.”
“What, you're going to be a stripper now?” She gives me a half smile that bolsters my confidence. “But you're not going to dress like that, you're going to wear scrubs and clogs.”
“Maybe,” she says. She bites her bottom lip. “I just don't think it's fair, you telling me what to do.”
“Fine, tell me what to do, what should I wear?”
She scans the costume shop. “Go as a sailor.”
“You want me to go as a sailor?”
“I don't know,” she says. “This is stupid.”
“No, it's not,” I say. “It's our tradition.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I want new traditions,” she says.
“What's that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“It means ...” She shakes her head. “I'm tired. Noah, you've been gone a long time and the whole time I've ...”
“What are you saying?” I say. And even though I wanted this to be a new beginning, it’s starting to feel like the end.