I grab a bottle of water from the fridge and chug half of it down, my hip leaning against the counter as I face her. “Sorry I fell asleep earlier. I didn’t mean to leave you on your own.”
Lena smiles. “It’s okay. Obviously, you were a little tired.”
A snort pulls from my throat. “Yeah. I think I got about two hours of sleep total last night. Every time I’d finally drift off, Oliver would wake back up.” I run my hand over my face. “Even with Fish here, it was a rough night.”
Her green eyes are sympathetic, as is her smile. “I have an idea. Since this will be done soon, why don’t you go shower and change your clothes. If Oliver wakes up before you’re done, I’ll get him changed and fed. I think I can handle that,” she says with a nod, though I can still see a little hesitation in her beautiful features.
My feet move in her direction before I even register what’s happening. Reaching up, I brush a strand of dark hair off her forehead. “Thank you, Lena. I mean it. I’d be in a world of hurt right now.”
“I’m sure you’d be just fine,” she reassures me, but I’m already shaking my head.
“No, I’ve never even held a baby before yesterday. This is all new territory for me, Lean. And to be honest, it’s scary as shit.” I run my hands through my hair once more, just to give them something to do besides reach out and touch her.
“We’ll figure it out,” she states, her words a little breathy. I’m standing so fucking close to her, I can smell her shampoo.
As much as I don’t want to, I step back. “I’m gonna take you up on your offer for a shower. I don’t smell so great,” I add, sniffing my armpit in true man-fashion.
She just shakes her head and smiles. “Go. I got this for a few minutes.”
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I take off back upstairs to enjoy my first shower in more than twenty-four hours. I still don’t know how I’m going to do this. Work full time with a new baby, but knowing I’ll have Lena by my side helps alleviate some of the major anxiety.
Six weeks.
She agreed to six weeks, and then, she’ll head back home. Back to Brenton. And I’ll be on my own again with nothing left but her memory.
Maybe I’ll just have to remind her of how amazing we were together. How right the world was. Maybe, just fucking maybe, I’ll convince her to stay.
Chapter Three
Lena
The room has been empty for several minutes, but I can’t help but continue to stare at the place Mack stood just a bit ago. My mind is still spinning, reeling from when he invaded my personal space and touched my hair. I practically felt that graze of his skin against mine in my most intimate places, and I can’t let that happen.
I can’t fall for Mack Cruz again.
Truth be told, it would be easy, diving headfirst into us again, but I can’t. No, I won’t. Getting over Mack was the most painful experience of my life, rivaled only by losing my mother as a very young girl. But it happened so long ago, and memories fade over time. Losing Mack feels like it happened just yesterday, and even though the pain is more of a dull ache, it’s still there, just below the surface.
That’s why I won’t fall for him a second time. The truth of the matter is he’ll stay here. This is his life. Traveling for an IndyCar race, for a meeting, for a promotional something or other. I’ve seen it happen. I’ve lived it. And nothing has changed. I still feel the same way today as I did that day he asked me to go with him.
This isn’t the life I want.
End of story.
I busy myself at the stove, stirring the beef and noodles and opening up a can of refrigerated rolls I found. They’re probably not the most healthy, but when you’re in a pinch, they’ll do. The oven is fancy and takes me a few tries to finally get it preheating to the proper temperature. While I wait, I decide to call my dad and let him know what’s going on. While I told him I landed, we haven’t actually spoken about the situation.
He picks up on the second ring as I wander toward the dining room windows that overlook the garage. I smile as his familiar voice booms through the phone line.
“Hello?”
“Hey, Dad. How are you?”
“Fine, sweetheart, but tell me about you. What’s going on there? I’ll admit, I’ve been worried. Is Mack okay?”
I sigh and lean against the wall. “Yeah, he’s okay, but you’re not going to believe this, Dad.” I proceed to tell him all about Oliver and how Mack came to find out about his son. My dad listens as I fill him in, not interrupting me once, even when I get to the part about him asking me to stay and help.
When I finally stop talking, he asks, “So six weeks, huh?”
I start to pace again. “I know I’m supposed to be there to take photos and keep up with the website, but—”
“Lena, listen to me. Don’t you worry about me or this ol’ place. We’ll be just fine, okay? What I’m worried about is you,” he says, making me stop in my tracks.
“Me?”
“Yes, you, sweetheart,” he replies with a chuckle. “Lena, I wasn’t blind nor stupid three years ago. I know he asked you to go and what your answer was. You put on a brave smile and said all the right things, but inside you were miserable when he left. And sad, and as your father, there’s one thing I hate most in this world, and that’s my daughter’s sadness. So, yes, I’m worried about you. I don’t want to see you hurting again when your time there ends.”
I exhale, my back sagging against the wall. “I know, Dad, but I don’t know what else to do. He needs my help, and…well, I couldn’t just walk away.”
Dad sighs. “I understand, sweetheart. Just promise me you’ll be careful.”
“I will,” I tell him with a grateful grin. “I promise.” My dad is the best.
“So tell me about the kid. What’s his name again?”
“Oliver, and he’s the sweetest little thing, all wrinkly and tiny. He’s only three weeks old.”
“Well, maybe I’ll get to meet him someday,” Dad says. “Mack Cruz a dad. Never thought I’d see it,” he adds with a chuckle.
He’s not the only one. Mack wasn’t sure he’d ever want to be a father, not after his upbringing. His mom left when he was little, and his dad was an alcoholic. He was always losing his job, and there was never anything to eat in the house. Mack once told me when he was twelve, he helped stock at the small grocery store in the town square. The man who owned the business knew of Mack’s situation, and after catching him stealing a package of lunch meat and some bread, he agreed to let the young boy work in the back room for cash. Mack was able to use the money to buy food so he didn’t starve to death while his dad used all the money for cheap vodka.
But the truth is, Mack is a good dad. I can see it, even in the limited time I’ve witnessed them interact. He knows what it’s like to struggle, so he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure Oliver has a better life than he had.
A loud wail drifts down the stairs, and I’m immediately on alert. “Dad, I need to go. Oliver is awake, and Mack went up to shower.”
“Well, don’t keep the boy waiting. I expect a few photos later, maybe?”