Home > Bully King(7)

Bully King(7)
Author: Andi Jaxon

Murmured “amens” sound from the rest of the family and Dad serves himself some pot roast. Mary has the vegetables, and the biscuits sit between Mom and me. We pass the dishes around until we all have everything we need.

“How was your day?” Mom asks.

I freeze with my fork halfway to my mouth.

“It was great!” Mary says with a smile.

She tells us all about her day, meeting Roman in auto shop last week and how he helped her not get her dress dirty. She prattles on and on about her day while I stay quiet. I don’t really have anything to say, anyway. While I don’t think Roman is a good match for my sister, I don’t want to throw her under the bus either and tell my parents he threw me into the lockers our first day of school.

Hearing Mary recount the first day of school reminds me of my own. We had very different days.

Roman slammed me into the lockers, I spent most of the morning thinking about his lips, Mary and I got into a little spat in the cafeteria, and the rest of the day, I spent trying not to picture him finger-banging her. Then Mary and I got into another fight on the way home. You know, just the normal first day of school stuff.

I’m about done with my food when Mom turns to me.

“How about you?”

“Oh. Uh…” I take a drink of my water, gathering my thoughts. “It was fine. Anna has been a big help getting me acquainted with who everyone is.” I shrug, trying to play it off as not a big deal and hoping she drops it.

“Oh, that’s nice. Maybe you should ask her to go with you and Mary this weekend, like a double date.”

I can feel the blood drain from my face. No. Absolutely not.

Mary looks at me and cocks her head, silently asking me to do exactly what Mom suggested.

“Oh. Uh. No. I’m not interested. I barely know her.”

The scraping of wood on the floor has everyone’s attention turning to Dad, who is reaching for his bag from work. He digs through it for a minute and comes back to the table with his Bible.

Mary groans, her shoulders dropping to slump down in her chair. “Dad, please don’t.”

“Next weekend will be your first date. You must remember to stay pure of heart as well as in body.” Dad continues to talk as she drops her head into her hands. “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you?”

“Yes, I’m aware, Dad.” Her response is muffled by her hands, but I can tell she’s rolling her eyes.

“Repeat this with me, Mary, from Galatians. ‘I have been crucified with Christ.’”

He stops and waits for her to repeat it. With a deep sigh, she says the words.

“‘It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.’” Dad gives her the next line.

Mary drops her hands and lifts her head to look at him with boredom.

“‘And the life I now live in the flesh, I live by faith in the Son of God,’” he continues as if he doesn’t notice her attitude.

“‘…Who loved me and gave himself for me,’” he finishes, and she repeats it back to him.

“This Sunday will be an excellent one for all of you kids to attend. It’s about purity of heart and mind, how to not to give in to the temptation of your own flesh.”

Guilt lays heavy on my shoulders.

I will never be the son he wants me to be.

No longer hungry, I push my plate away. It’s only the first week of school, and Roman already needs to get away from my family. I won’t make it through the year with him always underfoot.

“Are you feeling okay?” Mom asks, leaning over to press her palm against my forehead.

“Yeah. I’m just tired. Can I be excused?”

The table is quiet for a moment, Dad looking at me like he can sense my lie. “You’re excused.”

Grabbing my plate, I clear it off, rinse it, and set it in the dishwasher before running to the safety of my room.

I quickly strip down to my boxers and lie on my bed, staring out the window at the clear night sky. The inky black sky dotted with stars should be peaceful, but I feel like I’m being watched instead. As if the stars are openings in Heaven’s floor for those who have passed to look down on the people still here on Earth.

My stomach rolls at the thought, and I turn onto my side, putting my back to the window. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I wrap my arms around them. Shame presses into me, making it hard to breathe, and tears prick at the back of my eyes. My throat aches as emotion rides through my veins.

I will always be an outsider in my family. Never accepted or part of it. I’m the dirty secret my family will someday hide from people. Will I be allowed to come back to visit if they find out? Will I ever be able to introduce them to a boyfriend, or will I be shunned instantly?

Closing my eyes, I turn my face to the heavens and lay my heart out for Him.

Please help me.

I fall asleep with tears still wet on my cheeks.

 

 

My alarm is screaming and sunlight is blinding me since I didn’t close my curtains last night. Sitting up, I turn off the alarm and rub my eyes.

After pulling on clothes, I head to the bathroom and stop to inspect my face.

What the hell?

Leaning over the sink to get a closer look, my eyelids are pink and swollen, almost like I’m having an allergic reaction. I turn on the cold water and splash some on my face. The temperature is almost painful, but I’m hoping it helps. Cold is good for swelling, right?

“What are you doing?” Mary’s voice has me turning toward her.

“Uh, just washing my face.” I grab a towel and dry my face. “I have to pee. Go away.” I close the door, use the bathroom, and wash my hands.

Mary says nothing when I walk back to my room, but she watches me. It’s unsettling. What does she see?

We grab breakfast, I pull on my shoes, and we head out to school. It’s awkward. Mary and I don’t fight often, and when we do, it’s settled quickly. We’ve definitely never fought over a boy before.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” she blurts out.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, but this weirdness needs to stop. I don’t like fighting with you,” she admits, stepping closer to me.

“I don’t like it either, but unless you agree to stay away from Roman, it’s not going to go away.”

I can’t be around him. He will ruin everything I’ve worked so hard to keep hidden.

“Why do I have to be the one to give in? He’s nice to me. He helps me in class.” She folds her arms under her chest, standing her ground.

“You’ve only known him a few days!”

“So have you, yet you’re so sure you’re right.”

“He attacked me for no reason!” I holler, throwing my arms up. How is she not understanding?

“I have a hard time believing that. Whatever. Just make sure you give us space on the date, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

We get to school and go our separate ways as we prepare for class. At the same bank of lockers as mine is Roman King. The last person I want to see.

Determined to pretend I don’t see him, I head to my locker and don’t look around. In my peripheral vision I see him stiffen, his head turning toward me just enough for a dark circle to show around his eye.

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