“I don’t know that he will ever be the same,” I admit, trying not to focus on the hell my own life will be for the foreseeable future, but knowing I can’t bring my shit down on Dexter. Not now, not ever. “Loki, I-I want to make sure all this stays as far away from Dex and Preston as possible. Can we do that? Is it even possible to separate my life into fragments like that? To keep them safe?”
“I’ll do what I can, you know that. I know Dex feels like his world is falling apart, but if he had an inkling of what you were about to get yourself in—”
“No, Loki. Fuck!” I yell, cutting him off. I don’t mean to lash out at Loki. I know he is only trying to help. “I am not bringing this evil down on them. I will not allow the mistakes of my father to hurt anyone else that I love. I couldn’t save my mother; I’ll rot in hell before I let him or his goons get their hands on anyone else. That’s the end of it, Loki, I mean it. Keep Dexter and Preston out of this. Please,” I add more softly.
“He will be pissed, Trev, and hurt. You know that, right? We could find a way to clue him in, just so you have someone on your side you can talk to. When I go dark, you will be all alone in this until hell breaks free. Please, just reconsider bringing him or even Preston in.”
“No,” I say again, more calmly this time. “Thank you for looking out for me, Loki, but I can do this. Once Dex finishes with the divorce attorney, Mrs. Westbrook will come to stay for the week while I’m in Boston. Hopefully, he finds a nanny soon too, but Preston’s mom will be the perfect distraction for them all. I just want to check in with him and Tate before I head out.”
“Okay, let’s go. I’d like to see them before I take off too, but since this will be our last face to face before then, let's go over Boston one more time,” he tells me.
Sighing, I finally release the death-like grip I have on the steering wheel. I’m going to this conference in Boston to run tests on Mantra, my software the military has just purchased. As a bonus, it also allows me to be seen in Boston.
“I will attend the conference like any other rich fuck but run Mantra in the background. I’ll go to any of the cyber-security seminars I can, announcing myself to the industry, and forcing the Black family to take notice,” I repeat to him. We’ve gone over this plan so many times, it makes my eyes burn.
“You must appear to have already made a killing off Mantra,” he tells me for the tenth time. “Trevor, this is your shit. This conference is like Disney Land for you, so try not to focus so much on what I’ll be doing. Your one and only job is to run the software, schmooze, and take these seminars that give you a semi on any other day. Maybe find a girl to spend some time with or something, just be sure to project a confident, successful man without a care in the world.”
I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “Dude, this is a cyber-security in actuarial science conference. Do you know what that means? It is a conference for maths and science geeks. Do you really think I will find a woman at this thing that is even remotely capable of keeping my mind off of the fact that the actual mob will probably be following me?”
Laughing, Loki shakes his head, holding his hands up in surrender. “Hey, you never know, those math geeks can be hot.”
If that is true, I’ve never met one. Being born into money, even if it turned out to be dirty money, gave me some perks. I have the all-American good looks people tend to associate with money. I’m straight out of a J. Crew catalog from the 90s with dirty blonde hair and bright caramel eyes. My mom always said they were the color of whiskey and fireflies. Thinking of my mother brings the reality of my life to the forefront again.
“Yeah, I’ll pass. I will be doing my best not to end up at the bottom of the Charles River. Women are not on the agenda,” I tell him, fearing the truth of that statement.
“Hey, we will have your back. It will be a shitty time for you though, that’s why I wish you would consider telling Dex everything about your dad. You will need someone you can trust, and more than anything, you will need a sounding board through this to keep you sane,” Loki says earnestly.
“Thanks, Loki. I wouldn’t be able to get through this without you, but I will not bring this down on anyone else. I lucked out that you ended up with this assignment, though I’m still not convinced that was a coincidence. This is a job for you, and I’m thankful to have you, but you’re trained for this. Dexter, his family, Preston? They are not. I can’t bring this to their doorstep, regardless of the fallout it’s likely to cause when it’s all over.” I pull into Dexter’s townhouse and turn to my friend. “Thank you, but I hope you understand.”
Placing a hand on my shoulder, Loki says, “I’d do the same thing. I just wanted to make sure you fully understood what this will mean for you.”
Staring him square in the eyes, I say, “I know. I’ve gone over every possible angle, left no stone unturned. If there was another way, I would have found it by now. I have no other options.”
With one last glance, Loki turns to open his door and I do the same. With a pit in my stomach, I walk into my friend's home. I take everything in as I walk through his space. I can’t help but wonder if today will be the last time I ever see them.
Walking up behind me, I hear Loki’s voice—low and controlled, “Don’t go there, Trevor. It won’t do anyone a bit of good. If anything, it’ll just take you off your game. Pack it away, I will not let anything happen to you, but you have to be on point.” I turn to look at him just as he says, “Trust me on this.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I make my way to the kitchen in search of my Godson, Tate, Dexter’s ridiculously cute four-year-old.
“Hey, Dex?” Loki calls out, “Where are you guys?”
“I’ll be right down,” Dex yells from the second floor, followed by three enormous trash bags full of shit.
“Whoa, dude, what the hell is all this?” I ask him, looking up from the foyer.
Dex huffs and tosses another bag over the railing, “Her shit.”
Loki and I exchange a look. This is worse than I thought. “Do… ah, do you need any help?”
“Nope,” thud, “This is the last bag,” he informs us as he tosses another one that lands with a crash. Whatever was in there wasn’t clothing.
Scratching his head, Loki looks from the bags to Dexter and back again. “Okay, dude. Where are they going? Your car or the driveway?”
“Car,” Dex says, walking down the stairs, adjusting his tie as two little arms hold his neck in a choke-hold. “I don’t want her anywhere near the house.”
In silent understanding, I walk toward him and talk to his back, “Where is my main man Tate? I was hoping he would help me find your secret stash of cookies in the kitchen, but I can’t find him.”
Soft little giggles erupt, and I see Tate’s head jump up from his hiding place buried in between Dexter’s shoulders. “Hey, man, you scared the June bugs out of me. You ready to find some cookies?”
Just then, the door opens and Preston walks in, followed by his familial entourage, “I want some cookies,” he tells Tate just before we lose him to Dexter’s shoulder blades again.