“She was supposed to be mine. She was taken from me.”
“Did you go back and mount her? Why not bring her here to live with us? Take her from them and make her eat the grass. If she’s yours, she should be with you.”
“She doesn’t want me.”
“Who is she?”
He acted angry then that I kept trying to convince him to take what was his and mount her until she knew she was his. He gorged himself on that disgusting scent-masking grass then, encouraging me to eat more than my usual amount and I knew he was angry at the scent I’d picked up and I suspected he was also hiding something.
He ate it until he spewed it everywhere and got so ill I had to carry him back to his bed over my shoulder as he wept like a child.
The next day, he ordered me to shift early and put his finger in my face telling me to never discuss it or ask about that female again.
Months before my uncle died, he reminded me to eat the grass, to never let them know who I was, and to wait until I found my own mate and then keep her safe from them.
Just before he died, he told me that he knew he didn’t have long and said after he was gone I should go there to the forbidden village and rip them all apart. Every last one.
The day after he died, right before we were to shift to men again, I shifted early. I went to the house and took the truck to the bar in the village and ordered a beer. That night I took two women who approached me together to a hotel and fucked them both.
One slept while the other talked in sweet voices to me, asking to come home with me. She said she’d give me children. Take care of my house. She wasn’t mine and I felt loneliness I knew would ache without having anyone, not even my uncle who was never a good companion but who was all I had.
She wasn’t mine and I told her I didn’t want her. She screamed in my face and called me bad names, waking the other one, while I dressed to leave.
I drove back to the cabin, locked the garage, and checked the house to ensure I did what we usually did after our month as men before shifting. Although it’d only been a few days as man that year, I was done with it. I shifted and began with a long run, one that took me away for months. Far away, in case I needed to go farther to find my one. I came back and I approached the forbidden village. I smelled no one that was mine.
I got close, something calling to me, an unnamed need. The need for blood like he suggested? Curiosity about that familiar female? I might have wanted revenge. And I realized I hadn’t eaten the grass to mask my scent. And I didn’t care. In fact, I wanted them to smell me.
When I approached, their smells confused me. They made my head dizzy and I again wanted to mark the entire village with my scent. So I began to do that.
I saw several men step outside a large barn and they froze when they saw me marking. My uncle’s voice rang in my wolf’s head, his warnings about them. I growled at them, bared my teeth, showed my disdain and strangely, they all shifted and moved to poses of partial submission.
Why would they submit? More importantly, why would it be only a partial submission? Uncle told me my inferiors would submit if they recognized me as their alpha. He told me other alphas would only partly submit to show deference.
Confusion swam through me and I left before I finished marking. With no one to go back to, I didn’t go back to the house until winter when I denned underneath it. And the following winter. And the winter after that. I’ve forgotten how many.
Until today, I haven’t even felt the urge to shift back to man form. I’ve nearly forgotten about this other form I can be. It feels strange, like I need time to adjust after so long. Like my memories are sliding back slowly. Uncle once said if a wolf didn’t shift for a long enough period, he’d forget everything he knew as man, forget how to shift. And if he didn’t shift from man to wolf, his wolf would become a danger to all. He told me there was a balance to maintain. And when he died, I didn’t follow his words. I did what I wanted instead.
I was tired of his words. Of his warnings. Of the times when he made no sense, especially when he smelled like whisky.
Her panic levels are giving me an ache I can’t stand.
“Settle down, Ivy.” I scoop her against my chest and my temperature rises to provide warmth for her.
Her eyes are wild with fear and the predator in me wants to take her to the ground and devour her body, though with mouth, tongue, fingers, and cock instead of tearing at her with my teeth. The stronger part of me wants to calm and settle her.
“The boyfriend?” I smelled five different males. “Is that who you’re calling for?”
I want to rip his throat out. I want to rip all their throats out. I can tell by their scents that they’re weak. None are worthy opponents. None are worthy of her. I also smell the female that was with her earlier. Three of the five have the scent of that female on them. One that was with my Ivy. The other woman reeks of all that seed. There’s nothing appetizing about her scent underneath it.
Ivy doesn’t answer me.
“Forget him,” I say.
The fire and those filthy scents shrink off into the distance as we keep moving.
She slumps in defeat in my arms with a whimper.
Will she miss the boyfriend? Does she love him? This makes a funny sensation poke in my chest cavity. I shake it off. It doesn’t matter; I’m keeping her. He can find another female. I know I’d win her in a fight if some male was stupid enough to challenge me. I don’t smell another male on her, only knew that one was near her when I caught her scent. She hasn’t been touched in a while. I smell no male’s seed on her at all. This pleases me and tells me even more that the boyfriend doesn’t matter. Now that she’s mine, she will always smell like she’s just been fucked.
5
Ivy
I’m in the arms of a naked man who’s running with me, taking me to his home.
I squirm harder and manage to slide halfway out of his arms.
“Ivy Brennan,” he admonishes and secures me better.
And now I’m back over his shoulder like a flour sack while he runs faster. I’m flopping and seeing nothing but the blurry ground. I scream over and over until I’m hoarse, praying someone will come to my aid and it seems to make him run faster. I grab for his waist, and there are no clothes, so my hands just grasp at wet, hot skin and because it’s also naked skin, I let go the minute I touch him.
Blurry ground and bare butt.
God… how does he run this fast in the cold rain like this? Carrying me and my stuff, and… we’re running downhill now and he’s running even faster. Barefoot! I feel like I’m about to barf at the motion.
***
I continue to wrack my brain thinking about how I’ll get away from this guy and make it back to the cabin of ill-repute (can’t even believe that seems like a safe haven right now), but we’ve gone through dense bush and changed directions several times, not to mention I’ve stared at moving ground most of the journey so there’s no way I’ll remember my way back. Finally, he slows and pulls me off his shoulder back into an embrace and I’m dizzy but make out that we’re approaching a darkened building. The way the moon shines over it makes it seem like it’s spotlighting the place, showing it to me. I’m cold. And I’m shivering at the eeriness of all of this. I also shiver at strange sensations inside me as I look around.