“You owe Aunt Lex twenty bucks,” Jack said, falling into step beside me.
“What? Why?”
“Because she bet me you wouldn’t catch that rubber band thing Uncle Cal threw at you. I told her you used to play football, so there was no way you were going to miss. You should have warned me your nickname was actually Butter Fingers.”
I shot him a glare. “First, you’re seven. You aren’t allowed to gamble yet. Second, for the last time, my nickname was Sticky Hands. Get it right.”
He let out a surly scoff, which I chose to ignore in the name of picking my battles while trying to parent a twenty-five-year-old first grader.
“And third, it sounds like you owe her twenty bucks, not me.”
“Oh, no way! You missed it on purpose. That bet was rigged from the start. You two are lucky I don’t get a lawyer.”
I stared at my son, a grin trying to work its way out. It was official. I was raising a monster. A brilliant, stubborn, and hilarious monster, but a monster nonetheless.
“All right, in thirty seconds, if you don’t have all your stuff, I’m going to invite ‘all the guys’ over tomorrow to watch you suds up the grass with the bubble mower. Yeah?”
His eyes flared wide, but his feet got moving.
He stomped straight to our table and snagged his jacket off the back of his chair.
“Pay up, sucker,” Lex taunted with her feet propped up on a chair, a pyramid of empty glasses stacked in front of her.
“You’re a cheater,” Jack accused.
She snapped her fingers and held her palm out. “No. I just know your dad better than you do. I’d like to say you’ll get on my level one day, but the truth is, if you weren’t there to witness the travesty of him wearing leather pants and puka shells in high school, you’ll never truly understand the inner workings of his psyche.” She snapped again. “Grease the palm, Jackie Boy.” A wicked glimmer suddenly hit her drunken eyes and she tapped her cheek. “Orrrrrrr you could pay me with a smooch-a-roo right here. Your call. But a deal’s a deal.”
Jack loved his Aunt Lex. She’d been a fixture in his life since the day he was born. She’d attended every school play, field day, and birthday party. But recently, he’d come to the conclusion that he was too cool for her hugs and kisses.
This explained the disgust and panic on his face as he turned to me and begged, “Dad, you gotta let me borrow twenty bucks. Please. Please. Please.”
I shook my head. “Sorry. I’m fresh out of cash. Go hit up your grampa. But make it quick. I need a burger stat.”
He took off in a dead sprint, barreling through a crowd of people to get to Lex and Cal’s dad.
I had no family to speak of, but I’d always felt gratitude that the Lawsons had accepted Jack as one of their own. It shouldn’t have been surprising though. They’d always been like parents to me. But they took the doting-grandparent thing to a whole new level. I’d never forget the tears in Mr. Lawson’s eyes when I’d told him we were using David for Jack’s middle name. He’d wrapped me in a bear hug, slapping my back almost painfully as he’d mumbled around the emotion, “It’s a good name, son. A real good name.”
It wasn’t the first time he’d called me son. It was, however, the first time I’d allowed myself to believe it.
They were good people, the Lawsons. Even the drunk one sitting in front of me, hustling my kid for cash. But if there was ever a day she deserved to utilize an open bar, this was it. She liked to put on a good show, but deep down, we all knew that weddings were never easy on her.
“You ready to go?” I asked.
Lex swung her adoring gaze from Jack to me. “Depends. How much longer till the bar closes?”
“For you? It should have closed two hours ago. But for everyone else, I think they are shutting down shop now.” I shoved my hands into my pockets and dug my keys out. “Come on. I’ll buy you a burger on the way home.”
“Mmmm,” she hummed, her head falling back and her long, auburn hair cascading over the chair. “That sounds amazing. I nearly gagged on that last cucumber creme de la frufru, but I should probably find Craig.”
“No need. I sent him home an hour ago after you and Jack requested the Chicken Dance for the third time.” Only part of that was because I didn’t trust that idiot to take her anywhere in her current state, and Lex could do a hell of a lot better.
“And he just left me here? What kind of date does that?”
“Clearly, you have not seen yourself do the Chicken Dance…thrice.”
Laughing, she stumbled to her feet and drained the last inch of her Captain and Coke. “Hey, my main man Jack seemed to like it just fine.” She bent over to pick her shoes up and lost her balance, nearly taking a header into the floor.
I caught her arm at the last second. “Whoa. Easy there, Kid.”
She clung to me, swaying ever so slightly. “I knew those damn shoes were going to kill me. They’ve been plotting my demise all day.”
Careful not to release her, I hooked her arm through mine, dipped low to grab her heels, and passed them her way. “Right. Let’s make that a burger and some coffee, then.”
As if on cue, Jack reappeared beside us. “Dang it, all Grampa had was a hundred-dollar bill, and Mimi tried to give me her credit card.”
“I’ll take it!” Lex declared, thrusting her hand in his direction.
Jack rolled his eyes. “Can I give you an IOU for now? My mom still owes me, like, seven years of allowance. I’m sure I can get it to you by next week.”
Her green eyes lifted to mine. “I don’t know. What do you think, Hud? Is he good for it?”
“Considering I have no idea what he thinks he did to earn an allowance for the first three years of his life besides drool and poop in his pants, I’d advise against it.”
“Oh, come on, Dad!”
Lex shot him a wink. “It’s okay. I’m holding out for that kiss anyway.”
With Lex on one arm, her heels dangling from her fingers, and Jack on my other, a bubble lawn mower dragging behind him, the three of us said our goodbyes and then meandered to the valet.
It was no 1970 Chevelle like hers, but when my black Hud Construction pickup came into view, Lex called “Shotgun!” knowing good and damn well my son rode in a booster seat in the back.
Still, Jack mumbled, “Dang it.”
We got burgers, coffee, and then milkshakes even after I’d said no, but Lex snuck up to the counter with Jack while I threw the trash away. Such was my life wrangling two kids.
I didn’t complain though; some of the best nights of my life had been spent like that. Lex had this way about her that made the most mundane activities feel like special occasions. Plus, she’d bought a chocolate shake for me too.
By the time we pulled into Lex’s driveway, the eleven-p.m. sugar rush was in full force. They were laughing and discussing the finer things in life. Specifically, SpongeBob memes. I almost hated to ruin the moment.
“What in the holy hell is that?” I rumbled, slanting my head as if it would give me a better view through the windshield.
“What?” she asked, mirroring my position.
“That,” I said roughly, pointing at the giant tree branch I’d never noticed before hanging over her small, three-bedroom ranch. Additionally, I’d not noticed how ominous her front door was in the dark, hiding behind her overgrown bushes.