“Again?”
“Call me inspired.” He cups my breasts, but seems content to stay seated deep inside me. The way he plays with my nipples is almost idle, distracted, and somehow that makes it even hotter.
“Grayson.”
“I like it, too,” he says abruptly.
I freeze. “What?”
“The fantasy. Having my fingers in your pussy while he watches. Watching his fingers in you, his mouth on you.” He hesitates. “Watching you ride his cock. I think I’d like that. I think I’d like it a lot.”
I can’t stop myself from clenching around my husband’s cock in response to his admission, my body once again telling on me. “What are you saying?”
Grayson hooks one hand under my thigh and lifts my leg wide to hook over his hip. He starts moving slowly, fucking me deep and thoroughly. “We play games all the time, act out fantasies. How is this any different?”
“I don’t—” I gulp in a breath. “I can’t think with you doing that.”
“Doing what?” He starts stroking my clit again and nips the sensitive spot where my shoulder meets my neck. “Doing this?”
“Grayson, I’m serious. What are you saying?” Except I don’t sound serious. I sound like I’m asking him for permission. I don’t even know for what.
“A new game, Emma.” He thrusts deep, and I can’t stop myself from moaning, loud and wanton. “I want to give you to Derek. One night. I want to watch him eat your pussy, make you come, fuck you.” He keeps driving my desire higher with his movements and words. “I want to wrap you up like a gift just to watch him rip the ribbons off you.”
And then I’m orgasming again. My body screaming yes, yes, yes even as my mind is shouting of danger ahead. This time, Grayson doesn’t follow me over the edge. He pulls out and shoves me onto my back, and then he’s inside me again, stroking hard and deep. “Tell me you don’t want it and I’ll drop it.”
I can’t think through the pleasure, can’t do more than cling to him as he stares down at me, demanding a truth I’m not sure we’re ready to have between us. “You’re buzzed. Lust-drunk. It’s a terrible idea.”
Grayson stops moving and looks down at me. There’s something like vulnerability in his eyes. “Tell me the truth, Emma.”
I open my mouth to lie, to send us veering back into safety, but I can’t look him in the face and speak anything but the truth. Not even about this. “It sounds hot as hell,” I whisper. “I could get off on being his gift alone, because you’re the one directing it.”
He starts moving again, rougher this time. “And because you get off on being bad.”
“Yes.” There’s no use denying that. We have too much history of playing that particular game. I love pretending I’m doing things I shouldn’t, love it when Grayson indulges me, letting me play the dirty little slut. It’s always worked for us, because it’s us.
He drives into me one last time and buries his face in my neck as he comes. I stare at the ceiling and mentally prepare for him to take it all back. Dirty talking, playing out fantasies, anything said during sex doesn’t have to hold up to the light of day. We’re just playing. That’s all.
Except as Grayson pulls out of me and arranges himself at my side, it doesn’t feel like playing. It feels like we’ve taken the first step down a road that could lead to the ruin of everything I hold dear in this world.
He reaches up and cups my jaw, gently guiding me to look at him. “I meant what I said.”
I lick my lips. “It sounds really sexy in theory but…”
“If you don’t want to do it, we won’t.” He doesn’t move, doesn’t seem to breathe. “But I think you’re a hell of a better Christmas gift than the watch I got him.”
“You can’t mean it.” When he just looks at me, I continue. “Grayson, even if I were reckless enough to say yes, this is the kind of thing that makes his visiting our house in the future weird. You’ll resent me. It will change things.”
“Emma.” He presses a kiss to my forehead. “How many times have we played strangers to each other?”
I know where he’s going with this, but I answer honestly. “More times than I can count.”
His blue eyes are oh so serious as he studies my face. “We’ve talked about you fucking a stranger while I watch almost as many times.”
“Yes, a stranger.”
“You aren’t safe with a stranger, baby. That’s why we’ve never done it. You’re safe with Derek.”
My body might be, but there’s so many strings attached to this scenario, I’ll be entangled before we ever get to actually having sex. “He’s your best friend.”
“Yes. And you’re my wife.” He brushes his thumb across my cheekbone. “You’re the two people I care most about in this world.”
“But—”
“Tell me you’re not attracted to him.” He’s still holding me frozen with his direct gaze. “Tell me you haven’t been eye-fucking him every time he walks around without a shirt.”
“That’s not fair.” Not when Grayson does the same damn thing.
“I’m not condemning you. I’m offering you a chance to play out a fantasy we’ve both wanted for a long time.”
I sit up. I feel too panicked to hold still, but a selfish part of me wants to say yes and damn the consequences. It’s just sex, right? Derek and I have seven years’ worth of pent up desire to work out on each other; surely no matter what it’s like, fucking him can’t hold up against what I’ve built up in my head.
Maybe it’ll be a good thing. Get it out of the way, rip off the bandage, take away the element of the forbidden.
Or maybe I’m looking for an excuse.
I take a slow breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “How will it work?”
Grayson’s eyes light up. “I’ll talk to him about it tomorrow while we ski. Tomorrow night after we get back, I’ll put you under that giant Christmas tree in the living room and let him unwrap you.” He licks his lips. “It’s Christmas Eve, so the gift lasts through Christmas.”
“Is that one night or two?”
He studies me. “Two. Christmas Eve and Christmas. We leave the day after Christmas anyways.”
“Right. I knew that.” I give myself a shake. “What happens if it changes things?”
“We’re all adults, Emma. We can handle it.”
I’m not so sure he’s right, but he’s offering me something I’ve fantasized about for years. One day, two nights. What’s thirty-six hours in the grand scheme of things? A small eternity and no time at all. Despite the fact that he just made me come twice, my pussy gives a pulse of need at the thought of going through with this. “Yes.”
Chapter 3
I spend the entirety of the next day a hot mess. I can’t concentrate enough to read, so I go a full pampering route, bathing and shaving and lotioning and primping until I feel moderately more in control.