He didn’t have much time to hang out or talk, so a few texts every month were all I got from him,
Today was one of those days.
I had texted him about Genesis being mine now, and the message he sent congratulated me, telling me that she’ll be better off with me than with anyone else.
At least he knew I would take good care of her.
I looked up and watched as Genesis slid down the slide, her face not showing many emotions.
She was having fun, but smiling wasn’t something she did often.
Or ever.
At only three, you could tell she went through more bullshit than most adults.
It sucked, but I was determined to make her smile.
Maybe it didn’t help much that I was a serious guy myself.
I didn’t talk much, only when it was necessary.
But I hoped to open up more, especially with Genesis.
I’d do it for her, so she’d feel comfortable around me.
I wanted her to know that no matter what she’d say or do, it was okay.
She was just a kid.
Only ten minutes had passed, and Genesis was already walking back to the table.
“Are you done playing already?” I asked.
She nodded and climbed next to me on the bench and sat down without saying a word.
I would’ve imagined her to throw a fit and not wanting to leave like other kids would, but she was different. I think I’d established that already.
“Ready to go home then?”
Another nod, and I picked up her beanie and pulled it over her head.
She let me pick her up, and after getting rid of the tray, I walked outside into the cold with her in my arms.
“Toy?” she asked, pointing at herself.
“It’s right here.”
I pulled the little dinosaur out of my coat pocket and gave it to her.
“Do you like it? That’s a Stegosaurus. Can you say that? Stegosaurus,” I repeated slowly, watching her closely.
She studied the dinosaur and pushed her brows into a frown, then looked at me with confusion in her eyes.
“Again,” she said, pointing at my lips to gesture for me to repeat it.
She wanted to learn a new word, and I was all in for it.
“Ste-go-sau-rus,” I said slowly.
“Tegosauwus,” she whispered, with the cutest lisp.
“Yeah, that’s right! See? Now you already know a difficult word.”
“More?” she asked, now pointing at the dinosaur.
“There are more, yes. Tomorrow, we’ll go to the bookstore and buy books about dinosaurs. How does that sound?”
She nodded and looked back at her toy.
Good, and I’d also have to get her other things.
More toys.
Clothes.
Whatever a three-year-old needed.
We got home after fifteen minutes.
I should’ve taken my car to drive to the courthouse this afternoon, but the sun was out, and a walk with Genesis holding my hand was just what I needed before hearing what the judge had to say.
I helped her take off her jacket and boots, and after pulling off her beanie, she ran to the living room and climbed onto the couch.
“There’s nothing on tv for children this late at night, Genesis. It’s time for bed,” I told her.
As I walked over to her, she looked up at me with her bottom lip pushed out, showing me just how sad she was that she wasn’t allowed to watch tv.
I smiled.
I smiled for the first time after hearing the judge’s decision this afternoon.
“You know pouting isn’t gonna help. Come on, let’s go to bed.”
Although she wasn’t pleased with my words, she got off the couch and carried her dinosaur over to my bedroom.
Since she’d been staying with me, she slept in my bed.
I only had one bedroom, and the couch wasn’t a place I wanted her to sleep on.
Besides, she liked to hold on tight to my shirt while sleeping.
She even placed her head on my chest sometimes.
It calmed her.
Let her know she wasn’t alone.
But at some point, she needed her own bedroom.
I couldn’t let her sleep with me until she was a teen, although I liked the idea of that.
Shit, not in a creepy way.
But if she decided to sleep in one bed with me, I wouldn’t stop her from doing so.
Genesis has been through enough already, and being neglected by her mother had that effect on her.
She needed to be close to someone she could trust, and I was that person.
After changing into our pajamas and getting ready to sleep, she climbed into bed as I turned off the lights.
I got in next to her and pulled the covers over our bodies.
Just as I had imagined, Genesis moved closer to place her head on my chest, and her small hand came up to grab my shirt tightly.
I cupped the side of her head with one hand, and the other I placed on her back.
Her dinosaur was clasped tightly in her other hand and poking into my side, but I wasn’t going to tell her to put it away.
“Sleep tight, Genesis. Tomorrow’s a new day, and we’ll go out to buy you whatever you like, okay?”
“Tegosauwus?” she whispered.
“Yes. We’ll get your little friend some more friends.”
I pressed a kiss to the top of her head and held her tight.
This is what she deserved.
A safe home.
Someone who loved her.
Someone who took good care of her.
I’d do whatever it takes to make her feel loved.
Forever.
One year later
She was climbing the damn kitchen counter again.
It was early in the morning and the sun was barely up as I walked into the kitchen and saw Genesis trying to reach the cupboard where I stored our bowls.
I sighed and walked over to her, picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.
“What did I tell you about climbing onto the counter, Genesis?”
She squealed and hit the palms of her hands against my back, kicking her feet.
Genesis was still tiny, and after a year of living with me, she still hadn’t opened up the way I liked her to.
She didn’t start kindergarten yet, and she didn’t have many children to play with in our neighborhood, which made it hard for her to communicate with strangers.
Not that she walked around town at four years old and talked to random people, but every time I took her to go eat something at a diner, she would hide behind me and sit there in silence.
I needed to do something about it.
“It’s dangerous. What if you fall and hit your head? I don’t want you to hurt yourself, understand?” I kept my voice calm.
There was no reason for me to get loud or shout at her.
She was still a kid.
She was still learning.
I let her down on the couch and picked up the remote from the coffee table, then turned the tv on and switched to one of her favorite kids’ channels.
“I’ll get you breakfast.”
Genesis was a sweet kid, and with every day that passed, she started to look less and less like her mother.
Made me wonder who her father was.
Her mother couldn’t tell me who it was, but that’s okay because she had me now.
Her lips were parted and her big eyes looked up at me, still sleepy.
“You okay? Did you sleep well?” I asked.