No! Not this time, Logan.
His face darkened as she walked away. Recovering his composure, he finished dressing. He had a plane to catch.
Once she escaped to the bathroom she hesitated until she found the courage to glance at the mirror. She raised her face to the light, touching it with gentle strokes, then flinching as her fingers found the black and blue area of her cheek. It was bad, but not as much as she feared. The worst part was the emptiness in her soul that superseded the dull ache in her body. That was the part that wouldn’t heal.
She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she could make it all go away. The throbbing in her head increased. Holding a cold wash cloth to it, she heard him call out, then the front door slammed. She stood in silence, waiting for the familiar roar of his car’s engine. Unable to control it any longer, she burst into uncontrollable sobs, the warmth of her tears comforting her face as they slid down.
It wasn't until she had finished her third cup of coffee that the grogginess began to fade. She didn't want to remember details, but the large amount of empty wine bottles and dirty glasses strewn across the carpet said it all—they were drunk. From the way her nose was dripping, she knew they had done an excessive amount of cocaine also. Bending down to pick up the bottles and discard the memories, she was surprised to find her cell phone partially under the couch.
"What the hell!"
A fine edge of fear stabbed into her spine, as the one memory she didn’t want to forget came back to her. She grabbed the phone, anxious to check her texts and voicemail. Had she given Jake her number? Did Logan erase them? Once again, she couldn't think straight.
Falling onto the couch, she racked her brain until the last hour with Jake before she took the subway home entered her head. He had convinced her to stop at a little coffee shop where they were thrilled to discover all their shared interests and ideals. Somehow her marital status never came up in conversation.
As her head became light with joy, she felt her skin prickling, the hairs on her arms rising. She returned her attention to her cellphone. When she finally came upon Jake’s texts and voice message, her heart began to dance. Listening to the message, the sound of his voice sent a wave of hope rising through her. It was hard to stifle the tingling glow in her face as she put the phone in her bag, and began to breathe easy again.
KRISTEN/JAKE
What the hell am I doing? In an inexplicable frenzy, she dumped clothes and toiletries into a big duffle bag. She didn't even know when Logan would be back. Possibly five days, like the last time. Who cares! I hope he dies out there! He doesn't give a shit about me.
An almost unbearable nervous tension surged through her as she sped off in her little Honda thirty minutes later. Her mind was focused on what lay ahead with Jake. That was all that she cared about. It would be all right, she could feel it. She was determined to leave the past behind and start over. She was ready for the positive change she felt was coming, hopeful it would be with Jake. There was no turning back for her this time.
* * *
Jake was waiting outside the little cafe on East 8th Street. When he saw her heading towards him, her face lit up with a bright smile, it brought out a sense of urgency in him. Unable to wait, he ran over, taking her hands, holding them tightly. They stood immobilized in the middle of the busy sidewalk, looking into each other’s eyes, oblivious to the herds of people swarming past them.
"Hey," she finally said, breaking the trance.
"I'm glad you came.” He touched her face, then kissed her. His hand settled on her back, guiding her out of the way of two oncoming bicyclists. "Are you hungry?"
His eyes seemed to penetrate her soul—they were so dazzling, deep, compassionate. She studied his face, committing it to memory. Especially those delicious lips. Dazed, she couldn't think straight.
"I'm not sure..." She shrugged with a shy grin.
"Let's go in. We can find a booth in the back.” For the second day in a row, the twinkle in his eyes was back after a long hiatus. His fingers laced through hers, tight and protective, as they strolled into the dimly lit cafe.
Pulsating indie rock music filled the air. The place was packed, but they finally found a booth close to the back door. He slid next to her, their thighs pressing together. It wasn't satisfying enough for either of them. They moved in closer.
After the waitress took their order, Jake concentrated on Kristen’s face, his fingers tenderly touching the black and blue bruise on her cheek. "I noticed this outside. What happened?" His hand dropped to lay upon hers.
She had forgotten about it and was taken aback. Why hadn't the makeup hidden it? Apparently, his hawk eyes could see right through it. She looked down, avoiding those dark, dreamy eyes. What can I tell him when he doesn’t even know I’m involved with anyone, let alone married?
He continued to stare at her, gently turning her face up towards his. Instead of persisting, his lips brushed her cheeks, then headed to her lips for a soft kiss. "Where'd you park? You drove, right?" I want her so bad it hurts. It’s impossible to focus.
Even though she was grateful he changed the subject, she was still shaken. "Two blocks over.” The thought of the bruise consumed her. Maybe, by some miracle, he’ll forget about it.
"Not far from my place.” His smoldering eyes never left hers. There was something weird going on with her. He wasn’t sure what it was, but she was hiding something. He could feel his pulse rate increasing. I’ll have to take it very slow so I don’t scare her off.
Kristen pondered the idea. She couldn’t deny her burning desire for him. It was why she was there. The future was unknown, but she wouldn’t be complete if she didn’t at least try to take control of it. Without a word, she took his hand, hoping he would understand.
* * *
As her eyes darted around the small, sparsely furnished apartment, her body tensed. The intense chemistry she felt from the time they spoke on the phone that morning, all the way through lunch, up until the moment they entered his place, was replaced by mysterious apprehension. There was no doubt in her mind she wanted him, but at the same time fear was brewing. What if he’s like Logan, or worse? Why was she really here?
Jake, while pretending not to be watching, dropped the beer bottles onto the coffee table. She was glued to the door, her body rigid, her eyes two huge gleaming green globes filled with a strange mixture of terror and uncertainty. Not sure how to handle it, he decided to take a casual approach and moved with caution, as close as he felt wouldn't seem threatening.
"Are you okay?"
Something about his voice was comforting. She felt her heartbeat slowing down to a rate that would allow her to breathe. "Yes.”
But she still couldn’t edge away from the sense of security the door provided.
"Hmm. So why are you still standing there?" It was an innocent question. He made a point not to stare her down.
When she considered it, she shrugged, aware she had no idea. It just felt safe.
He didn't want to intimidate her with laughter, but couldn't hide the twinkle in his eyes. "Well, you can come in and sit down any time you feel comfortable. I would never hurt you," he promised, keeping his voice hushed, almost as if he were thinking aloud.