“Marty, why are you doing this to me? You wanted him with Tia, now he is!”
Marty ignored her comment. “What if I tell him, Kris?”
“Don't you dare!” I secretly want Marty to tell him. But why? It would just complicate everything. It doesn’t make sense.
“I just miss Ray so much, I feel so helpless. They gave up the investigation just like that. It's so unfair.” Marty began to cry.
Kristen froze, horrified. “I'm so sorry.” What can I say, find someone else? How can I talk?
It seemed like the call would never end. When it did, Kristen felt much worse than before she called her. Making a desperate search through the photos on her cellphone, her heart stopped when she reached the ones of Jake.
How did my life become so screwed up?
She buried her face in her hands, allowing the sobs to wrench through her body in agonizing bursts.
CHAPTER 5
SATURDAY, WEEK 6
KRISTEN
The problem with not working was the days all blended into one jumbled haze. It kept getting harder to keep track. Kristen was getting bigger and more anxious, and sitting around doing nothing didn't help. Her life filled with doctor's appointments and constant daydreaming, was becoming unbearable. She was tired of waiting, tired of thinking, sometimes tired of living.
Logan made an effort to be affectionate and attentive when he was home, but as her stomach grew, so did the amount of time he spent away. The state of depression she found herself in was even worse than after her father died.
“Logan, I need to start painting again.”
He looked at her with a mixture of amusement and surprise. “Why?”
“Because I'm bored and I feel useless and depressed. I’m sick of being alone all the time. Maybe I should see a shrink again.”
“When did you see a shrink?” At last something she said interested him. His forehead creased as he shut down his laptop and walked over to her.
“When you were out all the time, getting high and screwing around. How do you think I stayed sane? Didn't you?” She eyed him apprehensively. Maybe he lied to me when he said he was getting treatment.
He shrugged. “Really? You never told me. Anyway, it didn't work for me. I don't like the idea of baring my soul to a stranger, or you telling someone all our secrets.” His face was serious as he pulled her over to him. “You only have a few more weeks, then you'll be really busy.”
“Six! Six more long, boring weeks. Being pregnant is driving me insane! And you're never here!”
“What do you mean I'm never here? I'm here now!”
She didn't really know what she wanted any more, but being isolated wasn't the answer. “Then get me art supplies.”
“Come to bed, I'll massage you.” He kissed her neck. That should keep her satisfied for a while.
Pouting, she gave in. It seemed like he'd gotten over his fear of her belly and the life throbbing in it. She lay on her side, letting him undress her and apply oil, moaning as he began to massage her aching back and shoulders, then moving down to her lower back. “Maybe one of those mommy and me exercise classes. I can meet some friends.”
He rolled her over, kissing her breasts and moving down to her belly. Applying the fragrant oil, he gently caressed it. “I'll try to spend more time with you, okay? I don't want you getting hurt in some exercise class. We can exercise here and I'll give you all the therapy you need, sweetie.” His mouth hungrily found hers, kissing her with growing urgency. He broke free with a gentle motion and gazed down at her.
Lost in his eyes, she felt her willpower fading. He was trying to control her any way he could, but she was too fatigued and achy to fight him. “Well I still want the paint—an easel, all the good stuff I left behind.”
“Is this because he's doing it?”
He sounded jealous. Her eyes gleamed at the thought.
“No, Logan, you know I always painted before. I only stopped because of you, when you started fucking up my head.” Her fleeting optimism had disappeared—she was sinking again.
He rolled his eyes. “Well those days are gone. Let's go shopping then. We can get sexier maternity clothes too, if you want.” Trying to hide the laughter in his voice, he slowly removed his pants, watching her eyes grow large and distrustful. “Don't worry, I'll go nice and easy on you.”
JAKE
Seeing Marty again rekindled all of Jake’s doubts about Ray's murder. Despite how much he wanted to disregard his presumptions, since it increased his depression, they constantly haunted him. It just didn't connect.
Why would Ray go out to an isolated underpass in Jersey all of a sudden? Why did Logan and Kristen disappear right afterwards?
When he pulled up to the club that night, something strange crept into his mind, possibly a premonition. He had a strong feeling that Tia would show up, but he was confident it didn’t have to do with her. The sensation was too powerful, and he never expended much mental energy on her. They weren’t even into verbal communication, never even bothered to exchange phone numbers. Yet it all seemed perfectly normal, since neither of them cared. It was a strictly sexual arrangement, and there was no way he'd be comfortable confiding his theories and suspicions to Tia. Especially after her snide remarks about Kristen's clothes.
It was early, only 9:30 p.m. when he entered the club. They hadn't started the music yet, and only a couple of heavy-hitting drinkers were at the bar. Ben and a few of the bartenders were hanging out, the atmosphere light and easy.
“Hey, man, I was wondering if you were here the night Ray disappeared?” Jake asked as they started to set up.
Ben was stunned, Jake could read it in his face.
“Yeah, I was here. Just me and Jaimie. Why?” Ben stopped what he was doing, his face serious.
“It just doesn't add up... I know him. He wouldn't be out selling drugs by himself in Jersey. He fucking hated Jersey. I just can't get it outta my head. The cops don't give a shit and closed the case.” Jake’s body clenched up.
“I thought about it too at first. He was all pumped up because he made some extra cash. We didn’t get to hang too long cause I was all over the place. It was pretty dead, there were only a couple of customers. It sucks.”
Jake's eyes darkened. “You see anyone unusual here? Anyone hanging out?” It was a long shot, but he had to pursue it. He stared hopefully at Ben.
Ben thought for a few minutes, shaking his head dully. “Naw, just us and a couple of local guys, the usuals. Jonny was here talking to some guy. No big deal.”
Jake dug his knuckles into his eyes as a sick feeling hit his stomach. “Do you remember what he looked like? Anyone you've seen before?”
The DJ turned the music up higher, the lights dimmed. Ben searched his mind, a spark of recognition brightening his face. “Yeah, some blonde hippy looking dude. I remember thinking that's weird, why would Jonny be hanging with that dude? Next thing I knew, it started getting busy and Ray must've split.” Considering the change in Jake's face, Ben squinted. “Why, what's up?”
Trying to control the twitching in his face, Jake continued. “And where was that guy? And Jonny?”