Still astonished by her violent behavior, Kristen clung to him, helping him into the car. The deadly silence between them continued as he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the car seat. After being in an almost hysterical state, her driving ability was questionable. But he was too messed up to worry about it or even notice when she ran a red light. When they pulled up to the condo, he sank his full weight onto her shoulder, ignoring her wincing. She almost killed me, the least she could do is suffer a little and get me inside.
Without a word, he watched her undress him, help him up onto the bed, and settle in next to him.
“Why'd you hit me?”
She gave him a strange look, recalling how she lied to the emergency room intake woman and doctor. Something about a drunken friend getting out of hand, but they had decided not to press charges. If there were any suspicions, they hadn’t indicated it. And like usual, Logan kept his mouth shut the entire time.
“I saw you with that slut.” She didn’t bother to look at him.
“What happened to talking about it?” Still in a state of shock, Logan whimpered as he tried to deal with the spurts of pain radiating from his eyes to his head.
“There's nothing to talk about, Logan. You promised me we would start over, and you lied!” She glared at him, vowing not to let those hypnotic blood-shot baby blues weaken her.
“Are you sorry?”
“No…why should I be?” After a brief pause, she peeked at him. “Are you?”
A sharp pain rattled through his head. He collapsed backwards, gasping. What difference does it make now anyway?
JAKE
Forty-five days since Jake returned to Oregon. He continued caring for his mother while she made a slow recovery and Zora took care of the family’s animal clinic. It was a bittersweet time. A time in which the strong bond they shared before he was sent off to juvie was rekindled. As his mother grew stronger, his positive energy slowly resurfaced, along with his ability to push aside any lingering memories of his time with Kristen. But despite his best efforts, the unbearable loneliness and depression remained.
The days and nights blended in endless monotony, making it impossible to stay optimistic, and even harder to sleep. The only things that weren’t affected were his appetite and desperate need to run to work off the pent-up frustration. In the end, the dark truth was he had no reason to stay in Oregon. No matter how much he relished being with his family, there was no future for him here. But with Kristen no longer in his life, there was nothing luring him back to New York either. In fact, if it wasn’t for the art gallery and his blossoming career, there would be little to look forward to in general. He found himself teetering helplessly in a state of indecision.
A cold, steady rain was falling as he strolled along the isolated beach. The dreary dampness brought an unexpected smile to his face, reminding him of how dark his life had become in just a matter of months.
When he left the house earlier his mother was still asleep, and he took the opportunity to have some alone time to review his options. As he stared out at the mist covered ocean, the image of New York blazed in his mind. He knew it was time to move on. It would be difficult to walk away from them again, but it had to be done. There was no way he could stay in this house. The unwanted memories of the life he had been forced to abandon haunted him. The heartache of the two years he spent battling to adjust here was too vivid. And prolonging it would only make it worse. Before he could allow himself to waver, he returned to the house to book a flight for the next day. Then he would have to build up the courage to tell them the time had come.
* * *
“I still don’t know why you have to go back so soon, Son.” Rosa Wolf didn’t bother to conceal the pain in her eyes.
Taking a deep breath, Jake continued tossing his duffle bags in the back of the rental car, desperate to avoid facing her as long as he could.
“Mom, please. Give it a rest. He’s a big boy. He knows what he’s doing.” Zora intercepted, flashing a glance at Jake.
“I know he is, Zora…It’s just…hard, that’s all.”
“It’s hard for all of us, Mom, but you’re not making it any easier.”
Here they go again! Jake couldn’t help laughing to himself as he listened to the all too familiar bickering that he hoped wouldn’t escalate. For a second, the thought of how headstrong the women in his life were flickered in his mind, along with the uninvited image of Kristen.
Rushing to extinguish it, he whirled around, opened his arms wide and headed toward his mother. Rosa forced a sad smile, swiping her hands across her face to dry her tears as she sprang forward into his tight embrace. Without a word, she buried her head, sobbing into the deep muscles of his chest.
It was the moment he had been dreading, and hoped by some miracle wouldn’t play out this way.
“Promise me you won’t stay away so long this time.”
Jake nodded. Unable to speak, he clung to her. Taking deep breaths, he continued to remind himself of his promise to stay strong, to not break down in front of them. Against his will he peeked out, searching for Zora. The minute he glimpsed her puffy, red face getting closer, he was forced to close his eyes and struggle to hold back the tears. Like usual, things never went the way he hoped. It was going to be a long, restless night.
* * *
Almost four months later, he was back in his apartment, but still couldn’t come to grips with the fact that she was gone. It remained a mystery why she'd just up and left him, especially since all her stuff still hung in his closet. Yes, it had been a short, turbulent relationship, but the passion and emotional connection couldn’t be denied. It was too soon and raw to consider the possibility that she had never cared about him. Instead, the only conceivable reason he could see was that her rich prick husband told her to leave it because he'd get her new stuff. Even though she was very impulsive and not always rational, something still rubbed him the wrong way about the whole incident. After their brief conversation, he'd gotten a very a bad vibe. But that was ancient history and it was time to move on and push it out of his mind.
It came as a surprise when Jonny welcomed him back to the club after only a short reprimand. Jake was anxious to look into what happened to Ray. His murder only made a brief appearance on the news. A typical drug deal gone bad, they said. But he couldn't accept that. He knew Ray smoked weed and did coke to stay awake at the club from time to time, just like he did. As far as he was concerned, their theory was bullshit, because Ray wasn't a drug dealer and would never have gone off into the middle of a Jersey ghetto to sell or look for drugs. Not convinced or willing to let it go, he'd called and even gone into the Jersey City PD. They told him to forget about it. It was a closed case.
Now, Jake found himself living an entirely different life without Kristen—one devoid of all inspiration. He forced himself to paint a few times a week. The rest of the time was spent between the gallery and working at the club. By the end of each shift, he was so wasted it was a struggle just to stay on his feet. Somewhere in his subconscious he knew he was treading a thin line. But it was the only way he could cope, his only source of motivation to paint and possibly even to live. It had gotten so bad the past few nights, that Ben, one of the part time bartenders, insisted on driving him home.