I tilt my head back, interlacing my fingers at my nape, and stare at the ceiling.
What the hell am I doing?
I haven’t lost control like that since the early days after her death.
I sink into my chair. I once told a buddy he needed to forgive himself for injuring our brother-in-arms. Luke’s accident was no more his fault than Robyn’s was mine, but giving advice and taking it are completely different ball games.
Truthfully, I thought I had let things go, but then something comes up to remind me I’m still wading in the mud. It’s hard because I look at my son and I see a child growing up without his mother—because of my actions.
There’s a knock on the door and then Slider pushes in without waiting for a response.
“Are you done with your tantrum?” he demands, sounding a little pissed. I don’t blame him. I acted like a kid.
“Yeah, I’m sorry. It’s just…” I break off with a shrug, unable to put into words what it ‘just is’.
He runs a hand over the fuzz covering his head. “It’s okay, man. I get it, but you’ve got to stop punishing yourself for wanting to move on. I know it hurts, but Robyn’s gone. You’re not. You need to live your life. You deserve a chance at happiness.”
I’m not sure I do, but I don’t argue with him. I don’t need this psych evaluation to last longer than a few minutes.
“I need to finish working on the Ford,” I mutter, diverting as always.
“Jared.” He full names me, which stops my movement toward the door. He always calls me J or J-Dog—never Jared.
Slowly, I turn back to him. “What?”
“It’s okay to be happy.”
I swallow back the lump developing in my throat and nod.
“You’re allowed to be happy,” he repeats.
“Yeah, I know.”
I push through the door before that lump becomes so big I can’t breathe past it and head back into the workshop. Recovering the wrench I threw, I head back to the car I’m working on and, for a few moments, I’m lost in the engine and what I’m doing. Then, my eyes lift and slide toward the antiques store, toward Nia.
Damn.
4
Nia
The following morning I come into the store and discover a leak. There’s water dripping out from under the sink and when I look, I can see it’s dribbling from the pipe.
Great.
A call to my landlord doesn’t yield anything. He tells me it’ll be tomorrow before he can get out to me, and if I want it sooner, I should call a plumber myself.
I don’t have any tools here, but I’m sure the garage across the street will have some I can borrow. Maybe the pipe just needs tightening. I have no idea. Plumbing really isn’t my thing.
I leave the store and jog across the street. For some reason, as I approach the garage, my heart rate starts to quicken and when I see Jared leaning over the hood of a car, it’s practically racing.
He looks so good in those coveralls that it should be illegal.
“You okay?” a man I don’t recognize asks.
He must be Beanie, the guy they were talking about yesterday—the guy on the tow.
“Oh, I’m Nia. I own the store across the street. I was wondering if I could borrow some tools. I sprung a leak and I don’t have any with me.”
My eyes slide toward Jared, then Slider, who is watching with amusement dancing in his eyes. Jared seems a little more tight-lipped, which I don’t understand.
“I’ve got this, Bean,” Jared says, pushing around him to stand in front of him.
Beanie holds his hands up in supplication and heads back over to the vehicle he was working on, but I see a look pass between him and Slider that I don’t understand.
“You’ve got a leak?”
“Yeah, in the little kitchen out the back. It’s dripping everywhere and my landlord can’t get out until tomorrow. He wants me to turn the water off, but I can’t go the whole day without water. I’m still cleaning the store up ready for the opening on Saturday.”
If I lose a whole day, I’m not going to get everything done in time. I bite on my bottom lip as I try, and fail to come up with a solution.
“Do you know how to fix it?”
My mouth opens then closes.
“I take that as a no,” he says.
“I’m sure I can figure it out.” How hard can plumbing be?
“I’ll take a look,” he says.
I blink at him, then shake my head. “Oh, really, there’s no need. I can manage. I just need the tools.”
“I know you can manage. You strike me as a woman who can do anything she puts her mind to, but I know a thing or two about plumbing, if you want my help.”
I really do want his help. I know absolutely nothing about plumbing.
“I don’t want to take you away from your job.”
“It’s fine. Bean and Slider are here.”
I probably could fix it, with enough time, but time is not a luxury I have right now.
I chew my bottom lip again. “If you’re sure.”
He moves over to the tool cabinet and pulls out a few different sized wrenches and some other tools. Then says, “I’m sure.”
Together, we start across the street and I’m hyperaware of his proximity to me. I shouldn’t be having any feelings for him, but try telling my brain that. It’s in full lust mode. I need to rein myself in.
“I really do appreciate this,” I tell him as we walk.
“Don’t mention it.”
I let out a sigh. “I didn’t expect to have problems with the building. The stock or selling, absolutely, but the building was the one thing I was sure of.”
“We’ll have it fixed up in a flash,” he tells me as we step inside, and I believe him. Jared seems like the type of man who gets things done.
I give him a wry smile. “I feel like I’ve become the stereotypical damsel in distress. First, you had to help me with the trunk, now my faucets. I swear, I’m usually more in control of things than this.”
“I don’t mind, Nia. It doesn’t seem like you have anyone to really help you.”
“I have my cousin, Simone, and her husband.”
“You’re not married?” He winces as he says this. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”
I wave off his discomfort. “It’s fine. I’m separated, working toward my divorce. Let’s just say my ex wouldn’t have approved of this.”
That’s putting it mildly. Thomas would have hated this. He hated anything that made me less dependent on him.
“Well, that’s his loss.”
The way he says this has my stomach tingling, and I’m not sure why.
“I’m not sure he sees it that way. I think he thought I was crazy for wanting the store.” I glance around the four walls that make up my tiny empire.
“Sounds like you’re better off without him.”
I smile. He has no idea how true that is. “It took me a while to see that.” I consider him, my head tilting to the side. I might not know him that well, but what I do know seems to be something of an enigma. “What about you? Are you married?”