"Oh, my gosh Cameron Pascal, that was disgusting." But we are both laughing, and that's the normal with Cameron. I can't believe I went two full years without him in my life every day.
When he went off to college and I stayed behind to commute Solitude Community College, it was one of the saddest days in my life. Mother didn't want me leaving the nest yet. Cameron begged me for months our senior year to apply to Camelot University, but I didn't because I didn't want to face the backlash of being accepted and my mother finding out.
Two years later, the backlash was the least of my worries.
No, finding my birth certificate and noticing it was dated several months after I was born is a huge worry. At first, I didn't think much of it. The longer I thought about it, the more I realized it didn't seem right. I did some research and found it’s normal for a birth certificate to be dated only a week or two after the baby is born. I couldn't stop researching. I kept typing every question that came into my head:
When do you file for a birth certificate?
How long does it take to file a birth certificate?
What does an official birth certificate look like?
Can you change an official birth certificate?
Turns out, when a baby or child is adopted, a birth certificate is amended, and the biological parents are removed and replaced with their adoptive parents. Then the certificate is dated the same day it's filed with the government.
How do I know if I was adopted?
I remember like it was yesterday, starring at the screen, tears filling my eyes. Was I adopted? Mother had never told me as much. I grew up hearing baby stories about myself. She had so many stories.
My father died when I was still in diapers, so I didn't remember him. It had always been Mother and me.
Suddenly, it didn't feel right. Something deep in my bones was telling me there was a missing puzzle piece. Maybe my desire to have adventures had nothing to do with my mother's strict rules, but with a part of me that I had no idea existed. The longing to be free was because I didn't know my true history.
So, I confronted my mother. She tried to play it off by telling me she lost the original and had to file for a new one. But after my research on the topic, I knew it was a lie. My mother had always pushed me academically. Why she assumed I was arrogant on the matter was beyond me.
Finally, she gave in, admitting she and my father adopted me when I was nine months old. The foster family had supplied her with baby photos and stories. She made up the rest.
To bring everything full circle, it was Cameron who suggested I transfer to CamU, and put some much-needed distance between Mother and me. So that's what I did.
It's been a dream for me, yet a nightmare for Mother.
An alarm on my phone dings, telling me it's time to head to my next class. Cameron and I both push out of our seats and drop our empty drink cups into the trash near the door. As we step out into the hot sunny day, a girl shoves a paper in my empty hands.
"The Glass Ball is coming up! It's time to buy your tickets!" She repeats over and over as she shoves fliers into more empty hands and disappears into Jumping Joes.
"What's this?" I ask Cameron as I scan the flimsy, brightly colored pink paper.
"Oh, that. It's a yearly fundraiser the University puts on. It's basically a glorified prom."
I suck in a breath. "I never went to prom." My heart pounds with excitement. I dreamed about going to prom. Cameron asked me both years he went, but Mother always said no.
"I knew you'd want to go." He chuckles next to me as we cross the campus.
"Will you go with me, Cameron? Please, pretty please?" Turning to him, I pull his arm to me and lean my head into his arm. I give him my sweetest, pleading eyes.
He doesn't shake me off but wraps his arm around my shoulders. "Raps, of course, I'll go with you. Not that I don’t want to be seen on your arm, Raps, but eventually, you’re going to need to find someone you actually want to date."
"Do you already have a date?" Suddenly, I’m worried about overstepping.
"No, not at all, but you really need to get out there. You need to date."
"Pfft. Says whom?"
"Says anyone who finds out that this gorgeous twenty-year-old in her third year of college has never been on a date."
"Do study dates count?" I ask.
"Was kissing involved?"
I blush. There was this one guy last year, James. We had several classes together, so we became study partners.
"Oh, my God, Raps, have you been holding out on me?" Cameron's jaw nearly hits the ground.
"Shut up. I told you about James. There was kissing, maybe a little over the shirt, over the pants fondling, but that was about it." James was just as inexperienced as I was, but we had some very fun, unproductive study dates.
"Oh, I remember him. The nerd."
I push him away. "Shut up. Nerds can be very sexy."
"Was James a sexy nerd?" He hits me with a look and tells me he's not going to believe me if I say yes.
I sigh in defeat instead. "What does it matter?"
"You're right: it doesn't. What matters is that you need to have some fun. You need the full college experience. Date around, kiss some guys…"
"If I were a dude, would you tell me I needed to sleep around?" I question with a quirk of my eyebrow.
"I absolutely would, but you aren't a dude. Your Zella Raps, and you need to take it slow. Have fun before you get freaky between the sheets." He imitates a humping motion, and I push him again.
"This is a strange conversation."
"We've had stranger," he counters.
I nod, chewing on my lip as I think about dating.
Cameron bumps my shoulder with his as we come to a stop in front of Keane Hall and asks, "A penny for your thoughts?"
"I'm not even sure what to look for in possible dating material."
"You'll know." He sounds so confident.
"How?" I ask in an uncertain tone.
"When you meet a guy that piques your interest, you talk to him. As the conversation progresses, you'll get a sense if he's date-worthy or not."
"Sounds so easy," I mutter.
"It is, and don't be afraid to ask him out. Most likely, if you’re both feeling it, he'll ask you, but don't be afraid to go for it." He walks backward, leaving me at the entrance of the Art building.
"It's going to be fine, Zella, promise. You'll probably even enjoy dating."
I give him a tight-lipped smile and wave goodbye as he makes his way to his own class.
All through my graphic design class, I think about what Cameron said. About how for the first time since, well forever, I met a guy and was instantly intrigued by him. Our conversation was certainly entertaining, but he didn't ask to see me again, so maybe the interest was one-sided.
I hope I see him again. If I'm lucky, maybe he will try his smolder on me again.
Sigh.
A girl can only dream.
4
Ryker
I stare out of the window in the second-floor study room in The Labyrinth, the university's well-funded library. I'm not sure why I'm here exactly, I normally do my studying in my dorm room. I can count the number of times I've stepped foot in this building to study over the past two years on one hand. Now there are other, more exciting, reasons to be here. There are some secluded rooms throughout the building if you just happen to find yourself here with an attractive and willing study partner, if you know what I mean.