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The Mockingbird's Song
Author: Wanda E. Brunstetter

 


Strasburg, Pennsylvania

With her nose pressed against the cold glass, Sylvia Beiler gazed out the window at the fresh-fallen snow in her mother’s backyard. The back of her eyes stung as they followed the outline of objects the light of day cast into the yard.

Sylvia’s breathing deepened, and she began to relax as she remembered a previous holiday. She smiled for a moment, thinking about her deceased husband on a night such as this. How wonderful it had been to be with him and the children, sharing the joy the holiday brought them.

And such special times I had here growing up, before starting my new life with the man I loved. How would things be right now if nothing had happened to our precious loved ones?

Sylvia shifted her weight when she heard a familiar sound that echoed of bygone days. Laughter and excited conversation drifted from the living room into the kitchen where she stood, but she felt no merriment on this holiday. This was Sylvia’s first Christmas without the three men who’d been so special in her life—her beloved husband, devoted father, and caring brother.

It was hard to understand how the rest of her family could be so cheerful today. Didn’t they miss Dad, Toby, and Abe? Didn’t they care how much Sylvia still grieved? Why weren’t they grieving too?

With a weary sigh, Sylvia turned away from the window and sank into a chair at the table. She had offered to get the coffee going and cut the pies for dessert, but all she really wanted to do was go to her bedroom and have a good cry.

Closing her eyes, Sylvia let her mind drift back to that horrible day eight months ago when Dad, Toby, and Abe had decided to go after ice cream to have with Mom’s birthday cake. Dad’s horse and buggy had barely left the driveway to pull onto the main road when a truck hit them from behind. All occupants in the buggy, along with the horse, had died, leaving Sylvia without a husband and the job of raising two small children on her own.

She’d been depressed for so long she hardly remembered what it felt like to feel normal and happy. Unable to live in the home she and Toby had shared, Sylvia had moved in with her mother, where her sister, Amy, and brother, Henry, also lived. Each of them had faced challenges since that fateful day, but Amy seemed to be coping better than any of them.

Probably because she and Jared are back together, Sylvia told herself. She’s excited about her wedding next year and seems to enjoy helping Mom in the greenhouse. I can’t blame her for that, but today, of all days, my sister should be missing our departed love ones.

Sylvia’s youngest brother still had a chip on his shoulder and had done some rebellious things since the accident. He’d been doing a little better lately, but Henry’s rebellious nature and negative attitude had not fully dissipated.

Another thing that bothered Sylvia was Mom’s old boyfriend Monroe, and how he’d made a habit of coming by to check on them and asking if there was anything he could do to help out. Monroe had reminded Mom several times that it wasn’t good for her and the family to be alone without a man to watch out for them. Monroe always seemed to know when to drop by and would often stay, at Mom’s invitation, to eat a meal with the family.

Those times when he waited for Mom to come in from the greenhouse were awkward too. Sylvia always tried to come up with topics of conversation, which had made her feel more uneasy as she wasn’t comfortable around people she didn’t know well. Each time Mom would come in from work, Monroe seemed eager to please. In Sylvia’s opinion, the man was trying to worm his way into their lives. Something about the fellow wasn’t right, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. As far as she could tell, Monroe seemed to avoid the greenhouse. If anything was to be fixed, it usually pertained to the house or barn. It was obvious to her that Henry wasn’t thrilled with the fellow either. He seemed even more irritable and standoffish whenever Monroe came calling. With more time on her hands during the winter months, Mom’s routine was random, and she could come and go freely. Sylvia felt sure that was why they’d seen less of Mom’s male friend lately. For now, things were nicer around the Kings’ place.

Sylvia felt thankful her mother’s greenhouse was closed for the winter and wouldn’t reopen until early spring. She’d only worked there for the two weeks Mom had been in Clymer, New York, helping their brother, Ezekiel, and his wife, Michelle, when she’d given birth to a son in July. Those days had been difficult for Sylvia, and it was all she could do to conduct business or talk to customers who’d visited the greenhouse. Leaving her children to be cared for by their friend Mary Ruth had also been hard, even though Sylvia felt they were in capable hands. For now, she’d be able to breathe easy and forget about the greenhouse until spring.

Keeping her eyes closed, Sylvia massaged her forehead and then her cheekbones. My place is here with Allen and Rachel. Rachel had turned one last week, and Allen would be three in January. They needed a fulltime mother, not a babysitter.

Sylvia’s mother seemed okay with the arrangement, but things might be different once Amy and Jared were married. After the newlyweds moved into a place of their own, Amy might not work in the greenhouse anymore—especially when children came along.

Henry also helped in the greenhouse, but not in the same capacity as Amy, who waited on customers, kept things well-stocked, and did the books to make sure they remained in the black. Between their place being vandalized, as well as a new greenhouse springing up in the area, there had been some concern about whether they could survive financially. So far, they were making it, but if more destruction to the greenhouse or other areas on their property occurred, it might set them back too far to recover their losses. Since the greenhouse had closed for the winter, there had been no attacks of vandalism. Sylvia could only hope it would stay that way once the business reopened in early spring.

I’ve got to stop thinking about all of this, she reprimanded herself. Worrying has never gotten me anywhere.

“Sylvia, are you all right?”

The soft touch on her shoulder and Mom’s gentle voice drew Sylvia’s thoughts aside. “Jah, I’m fine. Just thinking is all.”

“About Toby?”

Sylvia’s head moved slowly up and down. “This is our first Christmas without him, Dad, and Abe. I miss them all so much.”

Mom pulled out the chair beside Sylvia and sat. “I miss them too, and the rest of our family does as well.”

“With all the merriment going on out there in the other room, it doesn’t sound like anyone else is missing our loved ones as much as I am today.”

Mom gave Sylvia’s shoulder a light pat. “That is certainly not true. Everyone deals with their grief in different ways. Also, with this being Christmas, which should be a most joyous occasion, it’s a day to be thankful and celebrate.”

Sylvia’s throat felt so swollen, it nearly closed up. She couldn’t say the words out loud, but truth was she was still angry that God had taken her husband, father, and brother. If their heavenly Father loved the world so much that He sent His only Son to earth to die for everyone’s sins, couldn’t He have prevented the accident that took their loved ones’ lives?

“Don’t you think your kinner, as well as Ezekiel and Michelle’s children, deserve a happy Christmas?” Mom spoke quietly, with her mouth close to Sylvia’s ear.

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