VIII
Sammy tucks the gun back into his trousers. @Sho4Sure rings the bell. He can’t wait to see her. She probably smells like all his favorite things combined. She will be soft like a pillow.
Treasure opens the door and looks at the two of them, a faint smile on her face. Her lips are thicker in real life. He can tell that she has not recognized him.
“Good afternoon. Are you here to fix the AC?”
He nods, and they follow her inside the house. She is not wearing fancy clothing like on Instagram. This outfit is plain. It covers her legs and her arms and goes all the way to her neck. But it cannot hide her shape. She has wide hips and big breasts. Her bum is jiggling from side to side as she walks them to the room with the AC problem. She is real. And he has found her. His heart is trying to escape out of his chest.
Look at this house! Her hallway is bigger than his entire place, and the staircase looks as if it is made from gold. There is plenty of shine shine in the house, and plenty of mirrors. These people definitely have too much money. There will be more than enough for him, and for Sammy too. The boy is too smart. He should be going to one of those schools where they collect money.
Sammy whistles.
“Nice place, ma.”
@Sho4Sure turns as he walks to take it all in. Her family has put pictures of themselves everywhere, but he cannot find any of Treasure. There are even pictures of their dogs. Maybe they have decided to keep their precious Treasure hidden.
They follow her to a room that looks like a forest. These people have put lots of plants inside their house. He snorts. They know how to waste money sha. She is about to leave them in the forest room to work on the AC. He should tell her who he is now. But he has not practiced what he will say.
“Ms. Treasure,” begins Sammy, “you don’t recognize him, but this is Mr. @Sho4Sure. Your friend on Instagram.”
“Who?”
“Mr. @Sho4Sure,” Sammy repeats slowly.
Treasure blinks; then she looks up at him, and her eyes double in size. She backs away from him. “How . . .”
Sammy grins at her. “Ms. Treasure. We came for you. So you and him can get married.”
“You’re not here for the AC?” She is a bit slower in the head than he imagined, but it is not good to have a wife who is too smart.
“Nope.” Sammy laughs. “We don’t know anything about ACs o. We go just spoil am for you.”
She is looking from side to side, like an animal that wants to run, but she is not running. @Sho4Sure sits down on the plush sofa and rubs it with his hands. It feels as if it could come alive. And even though the AC is not on, the room does not feel hot. It is like they are not even in Lagos.
He finds his voice.
“Where is your daddy? I want to speak to him.”
“My daddy ke?”
“Is he not around?”
IX
She could tell them the truth. She could explain that they are misguided, but . . . perhaps there is another option that will allow her to maintain the life she has carefully constructed for herself.
“My daddy is not around. You just missed him. Maybe you can come back tomorrow?”
She watches him consider her words. He has a nice body. It is a shame that he is crazy. But it dawns on her that this is happening to her because she is a celebrity. This man admires her and wants to be with her. This is the cross she must bear. When he leaves, she will block him and warn the security about him. Where is Papa Tobi sef? That man is useless.
The boy is looking around the room with greedy eyes. They are in the green room, where the guests are usually received. It is filled with plants and they are not normal plants. These ones grow in pots and obey their owners. There are also paintings of plants hanging on the walls. He starts to touch the plants; one of them pricks him. Good for him. He sucks the blood.
“We will wait for your daddy to come,” @Sho4Sure tells her.
She clamps her lips to prevent herself from screaming. This is not going her way at all. The boy begins to remove his trousers, and fear blooms inside her. But as she opens her mouth to shout, he pauses and whips out a gun.
“I almost sat on this!” He laughs at himself. @Sho4Sure laughs with him.
Her legs have begun to tremble, but they don’t even notice. They are too busy discussing the room and the oddness of rich people.
“I have a cousin who sells plants. These rich people eh, they spend so much money on flowers,” the boy informs @Sho4Sure.
She backs away toward the door, but @Sho4Sure stands and grabs her wrist before she can get far. He pulls her to him.
“Why is your hair different on Instagram?”
“I . . . it’s . . . it’s a wig.”
“So, it is fake hair.”
He touches her cornrows. He smells like bush rat. She prays he doesn’t try to kiss her.
“Yes.”
“Eh. You look better like this. You look like an innocent girl.” He releases her wrist. “Bring us some food,” he grunts as he kicks off his shoes.
She leaves them. She runs outside to the guardhouse, but there is no one there.
“Papa Tobi! Papa Tobi!” She screams his name, but no one answers. Should she wake Patience up? She is asleep on the floor beside Bebi. But what use would Patience be? And if Patience found out how the men had located this house . . .
No one must learn that @Sho4Sure turned up because of her Instagram page. She reenters the house and leans against the door. She will have to use style to get rid of the men, so no one will be any wiser. She just has to be calm. @Sho4Sure wants to marry her—that’s what they said. He is not here to kill her.
She warms rice and stew for them and carries it to them on a tray. The tray quakes. They eat as though they have not seen food in months. Then she offers them something to drink, and then she offers them more. She will ply them with alcohol until they can barely stand. Of course, she will have to explain what happened to the alcohol later, but she will deal with that problem when she gets to it.
@Sho4Sure insists on taking a picture with her. He pulls her to him. His grip is unyielding, and he smells like a rubbish pile. But she smiles for the picture. Her teeth are white. They look like Beauty and the Beast. He rubs her bum.
“You have not paid for my bride price yet o.” Her tone is light and playful, even though on the inside, she wants to cry. She gently pushes him away, and he smiles at her, though now the smile is a bit wonky.
“You be virgin, abi?”
She nods, even though she lost her virginity behind the toilet in secondary school. But @Sho4Sure will not be the first person she has lied to about it. He nods, satisfied with her answer. She needs to convince them to leave. All this talk of waiting for her daddy must end.
“You get champagne?” asks the boy.
“Look, my daddy has traveled. He will not be back tonight.”
“Ah,” states @Sho4Sure. He sounds very disappointed. As if she would ever marry someone who smelled like rotten meat.
Just then she hears a bark, and Bebi comes running in through the door, propelled forward by her excitement. Her barks are not antagonistic, but the two men are scared. Sammy scrambles to his feet and points the rifle at Bebi as she skips and jumps about. An impossible target. She is a blur of brown-and-white fur.
“Bebi, stop!” cries Treasure.